Animal Instinct
by MemoriesofNarnia
Summary: Manga-verse/Post-Promised Day; Ed is sent on a mission to apprehend an alchemist creating chimeras by the border. Things take a turn for the worse when Al gets taken hostage and Ed has no choice but to submit himself to keep Al safe. Future slash
1. Chapter 1

**This is one of the few FMA ideas that have been buzzing in my head for a while now. I've noticed that there are a good few Chimera!Ed fics out there, but none of them have really made me happy. So, that led me to start thinking of my own Chimera!Ed fiction. Thus, we get the following story.**

**Also, to those following my other two stories, I've been working to try and get my muse back up for them so they can be revived. I have an idea for the next Return of the Forgotten chapter, so I'm working slowly but steadily on that.**

**This story will be updated every other week or so, depending on the progress I make with it. Only one pairing is set, which you all will probably be able to figure out soon enough which, and the plot is kinda iffy. So, I'm open to any ideas people would like to submit and would love input on where people might like this story to go.**

**Also, rating as M because I'm a spaz like that.**

**Warnings: Unbeta'd, Manga-verse post-Promised Day, Mature themes, cussing, future slash and/or yaoi**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.**

**Enjoy~ ;D**

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A frustrated grunt escaped the young man's lips as he was thrown on the floor, automail removed from its ports and remaining arm bound tightly to his side. One leg wasn't much use for escaping. Kicking maybe, but escaping, it wasn't much use. If given time and no interference he could have gotten out, even in his crippled state, but this was one time he was going without a fight.

The thought of just letting himself be used like this for whatever these bastards felt like made bile rise in his throat and his vision tinge red in defiant fury, but there was a reason. There was always a reason behind everything Edward Elric did.

So, with his sure to be bruised cheek pressed against the cold concrete of the lab's flooring, Ed set to calming himself down.

The image of a finely crafted face appeared on the eyes of his mind. An angelic smile graced the figure's lips. Auburn caramel bangs fringed on the right side of the face with a long ponytail waving around in the back. Calm innocent grey eyes shone with childish glee, and Ed's anger dissipated. It was for Al. It was always for Al.

It was a well known fact that Edward Elric would rather have the Gate torture him for a thousand lifetimes than let his little brother, Alphonse Elric, come to harm of any kind. Even though they'd journeyed all across Amestris, committed the ultimate alchemic taboo, uncovered heaps of underground military operations, scoured the 'shadow world' of Amestris and fought the homunculi, defeated Father, and faced down the Gate and survived, Al was still an innocent kid. When their mom had died, it'd been Ed that had stepped up to bat and tried to take care of his beloved little brother. In hindsight, he'd tell someone he failed miserably. It was because of his stupid notions of human transmutation and bringing their mother back to life that Alphonse had ever been in the suit of armor in the first place. It was because of his stupidity that Alphonse lost almost six years in his body. Six years of growing, feeling, breathing, eating. Ed had stolen that away with one simple accident and in his mind's eye, ruined his little brother's life.

So when after Father was defeated and Ed attempted to recall Al back from the Gate, he was so shocked that the Truth let him off so easy. The Truth regulated Equivalent Exchange; controlled it, yet it let Ed have his precious little brother back at only the price of his right arm once more. The Truth even let him have his automail port back in one piece and attached perfectly! Though it did compress the pain of hours of surgery into a few moments upon reconnecting his metal limb. Very painful, by the way. When Ed had asked the Truth, unable to understand the reasoning in letting him and Al off so easy, not that he had any complaints, he was shocked by the answer.

'_Why? For starters, I like you, Mr. Alchemist. You're the only mortal who has ever provided me any entertainment. You're just so fascinating. You see, there is no other mortal in existence that I've found to be so utterly selfless. You have no desires for yourself; you only seek to make others happy. It's curious how you yourself are never happy almost. In all, you're intriguing to me and I'd prefer my only object of entertainment remain living to keep watch on.' _After that, the manic grin had fallen from the Truth's face, showing a serious expression Edward had never witnessed on the androgynous figure before that creeped him out to no end._ 'You, Edward Elric, did something that there is no Equivalent Exchange for. You saved the Gate. And while I will never be indebted towards you, I feel no problem with rewarding you. You love your little brother more than anything else in the world, so he shall be your reward. Protect him, Edward Elric. Keep your world safe from harm. Perhaps someday you two will find out what out how much you really mean to each other. I'll even return the sight to the one who was forced here in exchange for the stolen knowledge and circleless alchemy he took.'_

Even now, months after that strange conversation, Ed was still tearing apart the Truth's word, looking for the hidden meanings in its message.

When Ed and Al had both returned from the Gate, for the first time in years and what felt like an eternity, Ed cried. He cried tears of pure bliss as he cradled his living breathing little brother against his chest, trying to keep from choking Al in his vice like hug. And Ed got his wish. The only wish he'd had for the longest time, having given up wanting his arm and leg back. He got to see Al's beautiful smile again. Even if he was gaunt and malnourished after leeching off Ed from the Gate for so long, he was still Ed's little brother and that's all that mattered.

Unlike originally planned, Ed remained in the military. Mustang, with his restored vision was offered the seat of Fuhrer, but as a shock to all, turned the offer down and instead set to trying to reform the government to a democracy of some form from his new position as General. Oliver Armstrong shocked everyone yet again when she conceded to work on this project with Mustang. Most amazing of all was the fact that Mustang turned around and asked Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchmist, the only minor in the military and teenager with the most volatile nature in the world, to assist. It had made Ed stop and think for a moment. Not on the change of attitude towards him, but the fact that he didn't have anything else to do with himself. Initially, Ed had joined the army solely for its resources so he could find a way to restore Alphonse to his human body. While doing so, he'd made the only friends he'd ever had in Mustang's coworkers, and disturbingly enough, Mustang himself. Ed didn't have a place in the quiet town of Risembool. He was too restless by nature. And he didn't know how to do anything else. After everything he'd been through, Ed would never be satisfied with living the life of a civilian. Besides, the people of Amestris looked upon Ed as the People's Alchemist. He was practically the military's poster boy and could play a key role in keeping Amestris from falling apart with this title and the trust the citizens gave him.

So he agreed. After all, he still wanted to learn more alchemy. The nitty gritty mechanics of it, because he'd heard what the Xingese thought of Amestrian alchemy and its 'sense of strangeness.' He knew there were important details people were missing and therefore coming to the wrong conclusions. He just needed the right data and observations. So why spend his money when he could spend the State's?

After conceding to help though not play a largely active role (he liked to focus on his own projects, thank you very much) he was jumped with a promotion. Rather disgruntled with the whole thing, he was forced into the position of a Brigadier General. To say the least, he wasn't the happiest. The whole thing annoyed him because everywhere he went in Headquarters people came to quivering attention and practically drooled on his feet. Ed understood he had a rather large ego, but this was too much. Or maybe it was just the fact they finally forced him to wear regulation uniform, if just for the promotions ceremony post promised day.

From there, he'd devoted himself to Alphonse, nursing his brother back to health. Any other person would have been detrimentally damaged from having their body reduced as such, but it would seem that the Gate was feeling unusually generous and had kept Al's body healthy. So in a matter of months, Alphonse was looking like any regular fifteen year old boy going on sixteen, healthy and strong. Where Ed's body was scarred and hardened with muscle, Al's skin was smooth and marless with leaner form, narrower shoulders and a gentle air around him. In some ways, Al resembled a girl. Not that anyone would dare say that aloud. Not with Edward watching.

With money from his promotion, Ed had purchased a two story home for he and Al in Central nearby Headquarters. Ed wanted Al to be able to live in a real home, not in a military flat. The house had been perfect and even had a large yard and some trees.

Things had been going…great. Really. It'd been so wonderful for Al to be able to feel again. To see his little brother in his own body, living the way he should. Ed had smiled more in the first month of having Alphonse back than in the past six years. And rather than Alphonse trying to separate and start a life on his own, he clung even closer to Ed than ever before, not that the golden haired youth minded at all. Whatever made Alphonse happy, he'd do it. Whatever kept him safe, he'd do it. Thus leading us back to Edward's current predicament.

Edward had been given a mission to track down a rogue alchemist under suspicions of genetic transmutations on people and playing with creating chimeras. He was also given orders to put an end to any operations running through any means possible, whether he kill or capture them.

Professor Vincent L. Sein they'd called him.

Well, Professor Vincent L. Sein had managed to have his men capture Alphonse while Edward and he had been exploring a supposedly abandoned mansion on the south western border of Amestris, just outside a cozy little farming village. Rumors and leads had taken them here in just a week in a half since Ed received this mission and Al, as always, insisted on going. It had only taken moments for Alphonse to be snatched out from under Ed's nose when they'd been raiding the research library. The moment Al was at gunpoint and men were yelling for him to stop moving or the kid would die, Ed's mind shut down. Despite how Al screamed at him to run, escape, do something, the Fullmetal Alchemist would do nothing that could potentially result in Alphonse's harm. So here he was, submitting himself to whatever experiment they deigned him worthy for.

A metal door slammed raucously, the noise echoing deeply through the metal and cement underground laboratory as Edward was left alone. From what little Ed had managed to gleam from the books upstairs that hadn't been coded, the kind professor was rather intimate with genetics, any published works on chimera engineering, and human and animal anatomy. Definitely a 'shadow world' chimera project going on.

The teenager was snapped from his musings when a side door to the dark cluttered lab opened and some lights flicked on. Ed cringed and blinked rapidly, allowing his vision to adjust to the light, quickly taking in his surroundings. A chalkboard on one wall with complex equations decorating the green canvas. Taking in the series of numbers and symbols with lightning speed, Ed saw that it was a genetic altering array formula of some kind. The blonde wasn't quite familiar with that branch of alchemy seeing as how he'd never seen genetics and alchemy mixed on such a level before. On tables around the room, there were hundreds of jars of chemicals and test tubes. Vials of all kinds of mixtures and compounds. There were bookshelves lining the concrete walls, all filled with binders of notes and journals with jars here and there for powdered minerals. In a crate to the side of the room, there were clothes which appeared to be cleaned. The center of the floor where Ed lay was clear except for a chair nearby him. The air was thick with smells of familiar elements that were usually soothing to Ed's nerves, but the scents were so muddled he couldn't identify which smell was which, and besides. There was another smell that was making his stomach twist a little. Blood and flesh. Not person smell, but rotting mutilated carcass smell.

Finally, after his momentary observations of now lit surroundings, Ed rested hardened gold eyes on the Professor who was smiling down at him with a smug gleeful look.

The professor has a somewhat pudgy man with olive green eyes and grayed brown hair. His body was draped with dress attire with small stains here and there on his otherwise pristine white lab coat.

"Ah, the Fullmetal Alchemist! I've heard oh so much about you. Yes, you'll do fine for my next and perhaps final experiment. You are considered a strong one, but then, you'd have to be to have joined the army as a minor. The perfect specimen you are."

Ed wasn't liking the sound of this. His body stiffened, eyes becoming intense molten gold as they burned holes in Professor Sein's skull with a glare cold enough to freeze hell over. Even this professor couldn't help but shudder under the vicious scrutiny as the atmosphere began to literally darken around the young incapacitated alchemist.

"Where. Is. Alphonse?" Edward enunciated carefully, words clipped and chock full of every ounce of threat in him. It had the desired effect to say the least. The professor's hesitant wary look caused a toothy manic grin to spread across Ed's face that could rival the Truth's on the scary scale. "Because," Ed continued, still eyeing the professor like a piece of meat that had offended him, "if you've hurt a single hair on his head, I'll rip you apart limb from limb after I slice off your dick and shove it down your throat."

Taken aback by the threat, Sein took an unconscious step away before he came to his senses and realized he was backing off from a crippled tied up prisoner on his lab floor that couldn't do a thing at the moment. Amazing that kind of the effect the boy had. He would be perfect.

"The other, ah, Alphonse, yes? He has come to no harm, rest assured. He will continue to come to no harm as long as you cooperate," Sein confirmed, eyeing Edward with a calm calculating gaze. "You see, , the experiments that I will be performing have the best results when the subject isn't resisting the effects, so how about we make a deal? Initially, I planned on using that boy for one last test run, but should you cooperate and take these tests willingly, no such harm shall come to your brother. Any harm to you will only be from the tests, which I admit, I'm told are rather excruciating in their own right. Bargain?"

Ed glared up at Sein suspiciously, having relaxed his cold fury at the offer to keep Alphonse safe. But for how long? He only had himself to use for bargaining at the moment, and what will happen to Al if something went wrong? Would they still keep that promise if these 'tests' killed him?

"You're keeping me as a lab rat. I can deal with that. But what about Al?"

"Not too keen for him to remain in captivity are we? Not to worry, . The tests I'm running won't take all too long. Should you survive, you will be released along with your little brother once all is said and done."

"You think the military doesn't know where I was?" Ed asked, eyebrow cocked at the man. The fact that he could be killed doing this for Alphonse unnerved him. He couldn't leave Al here to fend for himself. Al needed him…well, maybe he needed Al even more, but he couldn't just leave Alphonse behind. Besides, if he did wind up dead, he and Al had a history of rather rash actions faced with the death of loved ones.

"Ah, yes. I don't plan on keeping you for more than a week, which should be about time for the military's arrival. Actually, I want the military to be the ones to find you. You see, Edward Elric, you will be my final creation. The grand masterpiece of my work."

"Just how will I know you're keeping your word on leaving my brother be?" Ed bit out.

"I'll radio the guards every so often while down here and have them put the boy on. His voice should be sufficient proof, yes?"

Ed grit his teeth angrily, biting back a snarl at the prideful tone of the crazed alchemists voice. Think of Alphonse. Nothing but Alphonse. Letting out a deep breath, Edward locked his eyes back on Sein's. "Deal. But I swear, if I find out that you have done a single fucking thing to him, you'll be cursing your mother's grave for the rest of your life if you survive."

"Of course," Sein responded with a nervous cough. No one could say Ed wasn't scary as hell when someone threatened Al. "Then let us get down to business. Be aware that this room has guards around all exits, video cameras to watch all rooms, and all personnel have radios. If you try to back out on our deal, my men are under orders to execute your little brother."

Ed's breath caught at that and gave Sein a look that was not comforting to the professor's health. Maybe he should stop mentioning his hold of Alphonse? He may live longer.

"I'll untie you then. You are restricted to this room Mr. Elric, know this well. You are not to touch anything or attempt any form of alchemy if you value Alphonse's life." With that, Ed's binds were removed and Sein stepped away, heading over to the corner with the crate of clothing. Obviously the man was confident that with the younger teen's life hanging over Edward's head, he was fine. And sadly, he was correct. Ed would never allow himself to be responsible for Alphonse coming to any harm. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if it had been his fault Al was killed.

Slowly, carefully, still eyeing the professor like a wary animal, Ed sat up in what would have been a cross-legged position should he have had two legs. Leaning on his left arm, Ed quirked an eyebrow when towel was chucked into his lap. Raising gold eyes to meet dull green, the silent question of 'what the hell?' was asked.

"You see Elric, items of clothing will possibly interfere with the reactions of the alchemic studies you will be undergoing. While there's is nothing to be done about the automail ports without causing detrimental harm to my new test subject, I'll not be letting any other possible interferences arise." The professor eye Edward sternly as the Fullmetal Alchemist's eyebrows skyrocketed up.

"Lemme get this straight. You want me to get naked in an underground basement turned lab while under close surveillance of cameras and more than likely sexually deprived guards and with no real form of self defense?" The displeased tone did not escape the professor and he chuckled lightly. Edward always hated Sein's type. They sickened him, using people for experiments. Just like Tucker….used Nina…

"Do not fret, Fullmetal Alchemist. You are only here for my research and experiments. Nothing else will occur." Sein gave the blonde a meaningful look before continuing, "I need your cooperation for this to work, and I doubt letting anyone consider pleasuring themselves with you would turn over well for any of us."

"Bet your ass it wouldn't," Ed growled, snatching the towel and dragging himself a little ways away. Pausing suddenly, a truly sickening thought occurred to Ed and his head whipped around so he could pin the twisted professor with a hawk's piercing gaze. "Alphonse too?"

"Your brother will not be violated in any way either," the man responded with amazing patience, obviously understanding the delicacy of the situation at hand.

Glancing back at the man inspecting him with cool calculation, Ed reached up with a left hand to beginning undressing. Removing the limp coat that was practically hanging off his left side was a little difficult, but he managed. After his trademark red coat was off, he reached up to undo the metal clip holding his jacket collar together. Once more, with a little trouble, that too was removed.

Metal glinted somewhat dully in the dim light of the lab as the automail port on Ed's right shoulder was revealed through his tank top.

Still feeling Sein's intense gaze on him, Ed resisted the urge to snap. His mind wouldn't stop screaming at him to jump the shithead and pound his face in for being a pedophile and practically ordering him to strip, but for now, he had to go by the man's word. While he didn't trust the professor, he had to listen or else Al could end up in some rather unsavory situations.

Pausing, Ed reached down and undid his pocket watch from his belt and held it up to eye level, watching it swing back and forth for a few moments. Tilting his head, he gave Sein an inquisitive look that the blonde was glad could be interpreted.

"I can keep that for safekeeping down here so it can be readily returned to you when the time comes." The offer was probably as good as Ed could possibly get at this point in time and with a sharp nod, tossed his State Alchemist watch to the man.

Turning his attention back to the task at hand, Ed realized belatedly getting his pants off would be a little harder than the jacket part. Sighing resignedly, he quickly tore off the brown belt and set to removing his elevator (not that he'd admit it) boots. After about a minute of struggling, Ed's black leather pants were in the growing pile of clothing beside him. Wanting to get done with this rather awkward 'strip performance,' Ed peeled the tank top off over his head and tossed it aside.

A sharp intake of breath drew his attention and Ed saw the scientist roving his body with curious if not disturbed green eyes.

Sein hadn't quite been expecting the sight he now beheld. Before him sat sixteen year old Brigadier General with gruesome scars decorating his automail port connection sites. Not just that though. Beneath loose triple layers of clothes was a body marred with scars Sein couldn't help but wonder how they were obtained. And, to top it all off, muscles that were previously unseen were now exposed. Power radiated in every movement that Fullmetal made now that Sein watched closely and saw how smoothly the practically ripped body shifted. To say the least, Sein hadn't expected the sixteen year old boy to have a six pack.

"You have been through a lot, Fullmetal. One doesn't obtain such scars from trivial things in everyday life, nor that kind of strength. Especially that one on your stomach- ah? What's this?" Sein had begun to circle around Ed to observe his scarred body fully only to find something rather intriguing on his back.

A tattoo.

Well, tattoos more specifically.

The main base of the tattoos was the familiar marking of the Flamel's Cross, stretching from mid shoulder blade to lower back was the snake entwined cross with a crown and wings. Skirting the top of the crown was an ornate and complicated transmutation circle that stretched up the base of Ed's neck. This tattoo was lined in a dodger blue while the rest was black. Intricate symbols and overlapping circles and shapes made up the transmutation circle tattoo. However, the break in the bottom of the circle made it so the circle could never be activated, thank the Gate. While Sein wasn't quite sure of the purpose or meaning of such a tattoo, Ed was sickeningly familiar with the base of his sins. It had all begun with that one circle, this long road he walked. Lining the top arch of the snake was the first of three quotes written upon the Fullmetal Alchemist's skin. _'All is one, one is all.'_ Quite fitting in Ed's opinion. Then, below the horizontal line of the cross in the space of his lower back was carved a legend he once recited to Rose what seemed centuries ago. A legend he found applied to himself and his foolishness. _'There was once a man who carved himself wings of wax so he could fly. But when he flew to close to the Sun, to God, they melted and he fell to Earth.'_ Last of the quotes printed on Edward was a law. A law he'd known since his childhood yet still attempted to defy. On his upper left back, covering his flesh shoulder blade was the last of the words on his skin. _'Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one and only truth.' _

A cold silence hung in the air as Sein processed the depth and meaning of the philosophy before him scriptured onto a teenager's back while Ed sat in silence, recalling the day he got the tattoos. He'd made sure Alphonse wasn't with him, and that his little brother remained unaware of their existence, yet still the younger teenager was beginning to contemplate getting a Flamel's Cross tattoo of his own as he'd mentioned to Ed every so often.

"You tried it, didn't you?" The man's quiet voice cut the air like a knife, echoing oddly in the enclosed laboratory. "The greatest taboo of alchemy and you managed to survive…"

Ed's eyes were closed, mind sifting through the words he'd chosen to decorate himself within his own contemplation.

The sound of footsteps receding to the far wall reminded Ed of the professor's presence and he glanced over his shoulder to see the white coated man hunched over a piece of paper, pen in hand moving rapidly in motions Edward recognized to be forming an alchemic array of some kind.

"Your tattoos gave me an idea, Edward," Sein began, still sketching an array out with the pen, shifting the paper around to get a better perspective of the circle. "I have an array I've perfected a while ago that allows you to create a permanent marking on your skin. The science behind it is truly complicated, but for simplicities sake, it makes the markings completely permanent. Say you were injured on your back and the tattoo was messed up? Well, this array make it so that that designated marking never leaves the designated area it's meant to show up in and always covers the area it should. It would be a shame for such art to be ruined by your battles and this will prove to be a perfect test to see how you hold up against this field of alchemy."

Ed couldn't help how his brows furrowed and a frown creased his face. Somehow though he didn't feel any panic. No worry. No resistance to the idea, only reluctant acceptance, and his mind once more provided the answer. For Al.

Ed forced himself to relax as the footsteps reapproached and the rustle of clothing could be heard not two feet away. Sein's shadow was cast across Edward, but the golden eyed youth tried not to think of that while a piece of paper was pressed against his back.

All too quickly Ed felt his entire being freeze over. Ice seized his veins, his heart felt like it was gripped in frozen claws. And there it was. Searing pain seized his body, muscles constricting wildly at the sudden burning sensation. On his back, where the tattoos were located, he felt needles of red hot pain pierce to the bone and skin felt like it was being burnt up. Somewhere in his head, the scientific part of Ed's mind, was observing the situation coolly, analyzing what was happening. It was a marking being engraved into his being. His body. A marking set to fix itself should it be interrupted but do nothing else. This command was being inserted, rewritten into his DNA and the alchemy was making it active in him. This sort of pain caused by this particular type of reaction was quite different from everything else Edward Elric had experienced. Not as brutal or raw as automail surgery and not nearly as traumatic as going through the Gate, something that felt like you were being ripped apart and being put back together, over and over and over.

Plus, this pain was dulled. His body had already endured things a lot worse than this, a little stinging was **not** about to elicit a response.

So Edward remained silent, wincing ever so slightly, and it was all over in an instant.

The flash of orangish alchemic light died down and Sein stepped back.

"That should do it…"Edward heard him murmmer then turned his head to look over at the man, easily pushing the painful tingling of his back to the corners of his mind. Pain was nothing to him. Not anymore.

Sein's grayish brown eyebrows rose incredulously, looking Ed over before settling on bored golden eyes. "Not even a sound of pain from you? Stunning. Most of the men I've used that array on have been wailing after those few seconds."

"Guess I'm not like most men then, huh?" The blonde muttered, eyes narrowing slightly.

"Guess not," Sein replied promptly, shifting his weight form foot to foot in obvious discomfort at the boy's indifference to what should have been intense pain. Instead it'd been brushed off like a papercut. Not even that really. "Anyways," the professor continued, clearing his throat," I still need you to get out of those boxers. You can cover up with that towel. As said, you will be guarded and we have Alphonse at our disposal so don't try a thing."

With those parting words, the professor left. The click of the metal door snapping shut resonated in the basement like lab. Boxers were successfully removed with only some hassling and Ed wrapped the towel around his waist, relived that it managed to cover him up sufficiently. Seeing as how his top usually ended up shredded half the time and he was stripped to his boxers in Rush Valley on several occasions, he didn't feel extremely uncomfortable, but still, a bit vulnerable.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Ed scooted up to an empty wall and pressed his still seething back against the cool surface. Casting a weary look over his new lodgings, Ed felt exhaustion tug at his mind. Fatigue made him feel like dead weight, and after a few minutes of struggling to maintain conscious and alert, Edward gave in and slipped into the comforting black unconsciousness offered.

If only it were _ever_ that simple.

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**So, what did you all think? Love it, hate it, what? I love feedback everyone, so please don't hesitate to click that review button.**

**Also, I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to read the beginnings of this story and I hope you stick around for the following chapters.**


	2. Chapter 2

**So, here is chappy two of my FMA fic. **

**I am trying to get my muse back for my other two stories, folks, and I hope I can update one, if not both, soon. Ideas for those stories and this one are always appreciated, so feel free to give me input. I'm eternally grateful for it.**

**Anywho~**

**Warnings: Unbeta'd, Manga-verse post-Promised Day, Mature themes, cussing, future slash and/or yaoi**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.**

**Enjoy~ ;D**

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_Red light danced over his lightly tanned skin as golden eyes watched the house crumble in flames. Orange and red tongues licked up at the night sky as it ate away at the wood framing of the old family home. Beside him stood a tall ornate suit of armor, only it wasn't. Even though its body of bluish metal was hollow on the inside, this suit of armor was his brother. His little brother. And it was his entire god damned fault._

_His precious little brother who he'd promised to always protect now couldn't eat, sleep, smell, cry, or even feel. His lively gentle gray eyes so much like their mother's were now empty helmet sockets filled with glowing red light. Every movement elicited a clanking and his expression was frozen. And it was his fault._

_Him and his own stupid ideas of bringing their mother back. He knew Alphonse was having second thoughts, but he dragged Al down with him anyways and it cost his brother his body_

_So here they stood, burning down the home that they'd grown up in. The only home they'd ever known. There was the whole reason for this. So that there was no turning back, so that there was nowhere they could go back to. It was so they couldn't give up._

_And still, some small part of Ed's mind cried out for the memories that were being turned to ash before him. That small part of Ed's mind that was isolated and put away. Tears would not be tolerated._

_As the fire engulfed the building before him, he remembered being a child here, growing up. Eating with his mother, chasing Al through the house, hiding in his father's study. They were all painful to think about now. _

_So as the home burned down, with it burned the childhood of Edward Elric._

Ed woke with a start, sitting bolt upright in a fraction of a second, breath oddly chocked. Gold eyes cleared a few moments later and the blonde's breath began to calm as he leaned heavily on his left arm for support.

Ed wasn't sure anymore how long he'd been here under Sein's custody being used as a guinea pig.

After initial checkups, Sein had drawn a few vials of blood to test reactions of the project Edward had become the subject of so whatever was being put into him could be adjusted to correlate better with his blood better. Apparently. Ed wasn't really getting clear explanations here, not that he expected them.

Ed did know that he wasn't liking the direction this 'project' was taking. No, it wasn't the needles that were the big problem though Ed had to severely restrain himself from freaking out on Sein and the few helpers the professor had when they came to get blood samples.

From what Ed was understanding though was that whatever was going to happen to him was a complicated human experimentation and it involved the circle that Sein and company had been creating in the center of the room for the past few days. At certain intervals, they'd come in and give Ed these weird injections too. From what he could tell, it was saline chock full of something else that set his very being into writhing discomfort even though not a sign showed.

Edward Elric would not scream or wince or reveal his pain. Compared to what he'd put every person he knew through, just for knowing him; after what he put Alphonse through, this was nothing. It actually wasn't all that bad at all. Nowhere near the caliber of pain he'd endured from various wounds throughout his military years.

Leaning back against the wall, Ed slumped down, taking a deep breath to sooth his frayed nerves. Being down in the basement with nothing to do left his mind ruminating. Memories clawed at him viciously and he couldn't stop worrying about Alphonse. Sure, he'd heard the boy's voice on a regular basis, but he was forbidden to speak or else kablooey when Alphonse's skull.

Just the thought made Ed sick.

The bang of a metal door opening had become routine for announcing the entrance of the professor or his lackeys, so Ed made no response, only checking he was covered properly.

"It's time, Edward." Ed's head snapped up abruptly at Sein's pronouncement, eyes sharpening instantly to take in the three. Just Sein and two assistants. One of which was holding a needle. Grimacing inwardly, Ed held out his left arm for them to inject the enzyme enhanced saline or whatever the hell it was into his veins. A cold squirming sensation prickled through his blood as the formula spread through him.

The assistant withdrew and went to do something with the circle. Ed could have looked into playing with it, but all things considered, it was far too dangerous to chance. Especially since he had little doubt it'd be used on him.

The blonde flexed his hand and rolled his wrist experimentally, hoping to dispel some of the discomfort and looked up when Sein's shadow was cast over him.

"Move yourself into the circle, Edward. It's time we begin. We've caught wind that your military friends have finally gotten a move on and we mustn't fall behind. We still have Alphonse, so hurry up, boy."

Edward sneered at Sein for a moment before beginning to crawl awkwardly to the circle's center, careful not to smudge up the intricate designs now splayed beneath him. Ed settled himself down there and flopped down on the floor, pulling the towel closer around him.

Eyes closed, he began to morbidly contemplate what exactly would be transpiring today. Maybe fifteen minutes later, clanging was heard again and golden orbs cracked open to see the assistants leaving. Sein now stood at what would have been considered parade rest just beyond the circle's perimeter, eying him carefully.

"Would you like to know what's going to happen to you boy?" Sein asked, head titling slightly in a questioning manner.

"A clear explanation might be nice," Ed spit out sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Really, what did Sein take him for? He was a scientist too after all, even if he was being used for this, that curious analytic part of his mind was nearly skipping in glee at the chance to have suspicions confirmed. With that circle being made right in front him and the array up on the board, he'd spent what conscious time he could observing.

Obviously, there had been something in that saline. Something they'd adapted to react in a certain way with his blood, or in this case, considering Sein's research focus, genetics. Meaning DNA. Something was going to be changed at such a precise scale in him through these experiments. This transmutation circle was more than likely to activate whatever changes. And what would these changes be? Ed felt his skin crawl ominously at Sein's blunt words.

"You're going to become the perfect chimera. After much delegating and experimenting, we decided to use a lion's DNA for our final project's base. From there, we decided on what changes we wanted to be made to our subject's physics, appearance, instincts, and so forth. To make some of these changes we wanted, we had to genetically engineer and alter the lion DNA with other feline's. We even changed the coloration for the fun of it. You wouldn't imagine how many test runs we've had with this. Finally, we got the results we wanted. The saline we've been injecting you with has been filled with strands of this specific DNA that has been altered to attach and assimilate into your own DNA."

Ed's entire being went cold at the explanation, muscles growing tense with every word until his body ached imperceptibly. His mind was too far gone, entranced by the words spilling from Sein's mouth like they were the most casual thing in the world.

"This transmutation circle has been designed specifically to fully combine the DNA strands into your own and balance out your body's chemistry. Not only that, this will activate the changes your body will undergo to become the perfect chimera. We are hoping though that we managed to get the part of allowing you to understand other felines to work. You will be one unlike any other chimera Edward. How, you will have to find out for yourself, but rest assured, your mind and soul will be left completely unaltered. I would never allow this to interfere with perhaps the greatest mind of our age. You are a genius, child. Make use of that."

The rather sincere ending caught Ed off guard and his head twisted around to pin Sein with a sharp gaze and he opened his mouth to ask what he meant by he was a different kind of chimera but was cut off.

"Now, you'll need to toss that towel out of the circle and we can begin," Sein said sternly, whatever had overcome him at the end of his explanation now gone. Ed paled slightly at the thought of being stark naked before this man, but it was required for this to begin and the sooner it began, the sooner he could go back to Al.

Curling up on his side in such a way Sein wouldn't be able to see anything, Ed pulled the towel off, and before he could throw it away, he pulled the red band from his hair and threw it aside with the towel.

It was just him, the circle, and Sein now.

Deathly calm gripped Ed as he unconsciously embraced what was about to happen. Being turned into a cross breed…he'd had worse. This wouldn't break him. It couldn't, not after everything he'd been through.

So, for these few moments, all trepidation was pushed aside. He could think of the consequences later, but for now, just live with it.

"All said and done, I don't believe you'll be seeing me alive again, Edward, so I only ask you make good use of these results should you survive. Have fun figuring it all out." With a dark laugh, Sein activated the array and Ed's world fell apart.

White hot pain.

Searing blistering rippling rampaging pain. Agony tore at Ed's very being as he felt his very atoms being rearranged. This was a pain on a ladder all its own, unlike automail or being stabbed through the stomach with a metal beam or being taken apart into itty bitty pieces and rearranged back together. He could literally feel his DNA twisting painfully as it spread apart, tore down pieces, replaced them and zipped back up. It was like thousands upon thousands of tiny claws raking down each molecule individually over and over again. While it was excruciatingly intense, Ed'd face numbly broke out into a manic toothy smile that scared Sein indefinitely as he watched Ed's form twist slightly on the floor in the orange light. Muscles spasmed all along Ed's body and something began to change. Ed could feel this odd sensation crawl over his burning still screaming cells and all of a sudden his bones felt like they were splintering and his eyes snapped open unseeingly and his increasingly disturbing grin widened.

Sein didn't understand at all. Was the pain driving the boy insane? But…if it really was that maddening, why wasn't he screaming? What the man didn't know was that Ed was laughing mentally at how this was nothing compared to the gate and the pure agony it caused. Despite that, this was most definitely worse than automail surgery.

Still, that smile remained in place as shining white teeth began to sharpen bit by bit and spine curved as it lengthened imperceptibly, as did Ed's arm and leg. His body was growing forcibly. Unclear molten gold eyes burned as their dot like pupils lengthened into slits, only making the visage even scarier.

Ed's cold scientific mind detached itself from the experience once he shut off his vocal cords to analyze what was going on a bit more calmly. He would never scream. Not for his own pain. He wasn't worth it.

The pain was slowly focusing on his ears and tailbone that felt strangely…longer? His fingers and toes prickled quite oddly and it felt like the nerves were extending into something else.

The spasms and growth pains lasted for twenty long minutes, by the end of which, Ed was barely conscious, eyes half lidded and mind doing twirls inside his skull. The echoing sound of a bullet in the enclose room did nothing for Ed. It was all white noise to him.

Head still echoing from the noise of the shot that Ed had yet to register, he groaned as he shoved himself upright using only his left arm. Automatically adjusting in accordance to balance, Ed worked to sit up properly, quickly growing aggravated with his stiff muscles. After sitting there for a few minutes taking deep breathes, Ed finally felt like he could make some semblance of his surroundings. A laboratory…the same one he'd spent the last week in. Okay. And he was…still naked. Urgh. Noise…there was a loud one not too long ago. Raising his head slightly, groggy eyes searched the room and finally fell on Sein's still form sprawled on the floor by the door. Quickly, Ed blocked out the smell of blood which he didn't realize was much more intense than usual. He remembered something about probably not finding the man alive again. A bitter smile graced the Fullmetal Alchemist's face as he tried to remember what else was going on. And what were those noises?

Didn't…didn't Sein say the military finally caught scent of where he was and got off their asses and issued the dogs? Letting out a snort, Ed decided now would be a wonderful time to get clothes. The blonde wasn't exactly in the mood to be found butt naked by a bunch of military men.

Dragging himself towards the crate in the corner, he looked at the clothes inside. They were practically bleeding sterilization, telling him yes, they were more than safe. Rooting quickly into the items, he snagged a couple pairs of pants and a shirt. Sitting back, he found himself needing to pause, his energy levels obviously low.

And like a truck speeding down the streets of central with hidden military arms, he was finally struck with what exactly happened.

A chimera…He was a chimera.

Roy Mustang practically flew down the stairs leading to the basement laboratory where they were sure to find Ed. Aphonse Elric was right behind him, wide gray eyes frantic.

He and his unit had arrived not ten minutes ago. Instantly, Mustang was scouring the building with Hawkeye, Breda, Fuery, and Falman at his back with various other troops.

Fullmetal's contact had cut a week ago and Central stopped receiving phone updates or any written word. Deciding that they needed to look into this, Mustang set out with his handpicked unit and other personnel for backup.

At first Mustang hadn't been at all worried, knowing full well that Edward could care for himself, but as the week went by, guilt twisted his guts and worry distracted him from paperwork. Finally, it occurred to him that as long as Alphonse was with Fullmetal, something could full well happen.

With sickening clarity the raven veteran could remember the cold determined look in Ed's eyes when he spoke to the blonde alchemist one day over his actions during the promised day.

'_He's my little brother Mustang. I'd do anything for him. I'd face the Truth a thousand times or lose every other limb, I don't care. As long as it's for Alphonse, I'll do anything.'_ With those parting words, Ed had swept out of his office. Even then those words had sent a chill down Mustangs spine with the fierce clarity Fullmetal spoke with.

And Alphonse had gone with him on this mission. If this rogue scientist had captured Alphonse, Ed would have bargained his life just to keep his brother safe from harm. They could have done anything to Edward and he would have submitted himself willingly if they had Al for leverage.

Thoroughly disturbed with the possibilities, after waiting a week for any word, Mustang set off to the Elric brother's last known location, a little town on the south western border. According to some of the townsfolk, the teens had headed to an abandoned building a few miles off.

When they arrived, the military had found the place crawling with guards. Oddly enough, they didn't fight back when the blue coats fell upon them. While scouring the upstairs, they'd discovered in one of the rooms a locked up Alphonse with guards armed to the teeth.

Mustang's blood had run cold at the sight of Alphonse held captive and his gut instinct instantly screamed he was too late.

The General was relieved however when they found Alphonse completely unharmed other than looking a bit worse for wear.

Something Mustang still couldn't help but find mildly amusing was Alphonse's mimicking of Edward's fashion sense, settling for nicer black pants, shoes unlike Ed's boots, a matching sleeveless shirt, jacket, and coat. Only big difference with that Al had a blue coat rather than red.

In one of the storage lockers in the same room, they found Edward's full attire folded up with his automail arm and leg.

This only sent an already hysterical Alphonse into a frenzy. Now, Alphonse very rarely got mad. When he did, he got scary, quick.

So, it was with only a few screams from Al that the military men were scattering in search of the missing Brigadier General. While the officers set off in search of his brother, Alphonse had snagged one of the guards by the collar and showed once and for all, yes he was Edward's brother.

With a dangerous toothy smile that would have certainly have made Edward proud, Alphonse had clearly threatened to castrate the man with a hand saw unless he tell them where his big brother was.

Thus led Mustang to the current moment, rushing down the stairs like a madman, Al dogging his heels and his personal unit following at a much more reasonable pace.

Not even stopping at the bottom of the stairs, Mustang threw the metal door open and entered the room, the smell of blood instantly invading his nostrils. Onyx eyes sharpened imperceptibly and swept over his surroundings, searching for the source as he fought back fear for the Fullmetal. Instantly, he found the blood source as his feet. It was a man with unkempt grayish brown hair and dull green eyes clouded with death. He was a little heavy set and wore a red stained lab coat over dress pants and shirt. A hole was in his temple and a gun help limply in his left hand.

A small gasp from behind him caught Mustang's attention and he noticed the caramel haired teen's gaze trained of the bloody mess of gray matter and gore.

Again, Mustang swept his eyes over the surroundings. The only light on was the one by the door, leaving most of the lab in darkness. Something glinted off the light on a table nearby and he instantly recognized the symbol as the State's. It was Edward's State Alchemist watch.

The sound of movement caused the ravenette to look up and his heart froze as he stared into the shadows across the room.

Glinting the darkness just beyond he and Alphonse were bright golden eyes with dangerous cat like pupils. And all of a sudden, they were gone as figure dragged itself from the shadows, leaning heavily on the wall. Rather than molten feline specs, they were now dazed familiar eyes with speck like pupils. But the figure they were on wasn't quite as familiar anymore.

It was Edward, no doubt about that, but he was different.

Hair was splayed all around the teen's face and back, but rather than a familiar golden hue, only short range from the roots was gold. The rest of Ed's hair was now pitch black. The boy wore a white long sleeve shirt and dark sweatpants, left leg limp and right sleeve waving uselessly. Around his head was tied a red bandanna of sorts that covered his ears. But the strangest thing was that Edward seemed…taller? If only slightly, it was noticeable. A dark glove covered his left hand as it clutched at the stone wall and a sock adorned the lone right foot.

"Brother!"

Alphonse's shriek of relief snapped both Mustang out of his musings and apparently brought Edward back to the present.

"Alphonse?" Mustang saw Edward's lips move to form his little brother's name, but the voice that rasped out wasn't quite Ed's. It was rougher, maybe even richer than Ed's usual slightly raspy voice. Which was odd to say the least. Spend a week in a dark lab basement and all of a sudden you've hit a random bump in puberty-

Mustng's blood turned to ice. What exactly had been researched here again?

The Flame Alchemist's dark train of thoughts was interrupted when an overjoyed sob escaped Al and he instantly latched onto Ed, tears springing forth from his gray eyes. Mustang quickly stepped forward to help Fullmetal support the newfound weight hanging off his neck and placed a steadying hand on what was left of his right shoulder. Worried black eyes watched the brothers carefully, looking for any other differences in Edward.

"Ack! Al!" Edward gasped out, obviously not expecting his little brother's reaction, but quickly adjusted as best he could to atone for the added weight. Moments later the shock melted away from shining golden eyes and he looked down slightly to his brother, worry quickly overcoming Ed's voice.

"Al, are you okay? Did they hurt you at all! Did any of those shitfaced bastards touch you at all!" Mustang felt a small pang of what he wasn't sure. Even now, when Edward had been in a laboratory basement for a week having God knows what done to him; he was still worried only about Alphonse and making sure he was alright.

"Yes, I'm fine brother! I'm fine! But I was so worried…they kept saying things like…like….The guards, they kept talking about things that happened to the others, and I…" Al's voice was already shaking halfway through and he broke off with a whimper at the end, obviously not wanting to bring his thoughts to light. The younger boy's arms visibly tightened around Ed's neck, but the once blonde hardly seemed to notice, giving a long sigh of stressed relief.

Mustang's gut twisted slightly at the sight of Edward's pain filled but earnest eyes. Knowing Ed for as long as Mustang had, he knew that Fullmetal was blaming himself for Al's worrying and for not being there to comfort him. All of a sudden he felt like he was invading on a very private moment as Ed dropped his head to bury his face in Al's hair, being all Edward could do, still balanced on a single leg and arm propping him against the wall.

Looking at Fulmetal now, Mustang couldn't help but acknowledge just how hard things were on the teenager. No matter how strong or spirited Edward was, it was truly sobering to see him like this. When he was the most vulnerable he could be, exposed for the cripple he was.

After a few minutes of watching, Mustang heard boot steps on the stairs as his squad finally arrived. Turning his attention back to the brothers who had yet to separate from their embrace, he frowned slightly. What exactly had happened? What was with the sudden changes in Edward? Shaking his head slightly, the ravenette shook off the thoughts. Now was not the time.

"How you holding up Fullmetal?" Mustang asked, squeezing slightly with the hand he'd attached to Edward's shoulder for support.

"Just peachy," came the muffled response from somewhere in Alphonse's hair and Mustang let out a short chuckle. "I've been down here for a week and fucking loved it."

Edward was fine to a point at least, especially when you could cut the sarcasm in his voice with a knife.

"Well, as much as you liked it here, I think it's time we get you back to Central, eh?" Mustang replied, smirk tugging at his lips.

A long suffering sigh escaped Fullmetal and he finally pulled his head from Alphonse's hair reluctantly, Al following suit, slowly stepping back from Ed.

"A shame really," Edward commented with a roll of his eyes and Mustang chuckled again as finally the rest of his team entered.

Quickly, the four officers approached only to stop dead when they saw Ed, and every one of them nearly gawked at the changes.

"Edward?" Hawkeye asked, being the first to recover from the shock and lowered her gun slowly and snapped it back in the holster as she cautiously neared the three, eyes still fixated on Ed.

Not that Roy blamed her.

"Hey guys," Ed said, wry smile in place.

* * *

**Review, please! I really want to hear any thoughts on the progress with this fiction so far. I'd like to give a thank you to everyone who took the time to read this story and thank the two people who have reviewed for the first chapter.**

**Once again, sorry for the lack of updates on my other two stories, but I don't want to force the writing and end up making a shitty chapter that disappoints everyone.**

**Thanks again for any and all support~**


	3. Chapter 3

**So sorry for the late update! DX mt computer access has been lacking of recently, so I wasn't able to get this up.**

**Chapter three ahoy though~ **

**I am trying to get my muse back for my other two stories, folks, and I hope I can update one, if not both, soon. Ideas for those stories and this one are always appreciated, so feel free to give me input. I'm eternally grateful for it.**

**In other news, perhaps soon the only set pairing I have will emerge?**

**Warnings: Unbeta'd, Manga-verse/Post Promised Day, AU, Mature themes, cussing, future slash and/or yaoi**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.**

**Enjoy~ ;D**

* * *

Ed gave a slight wince at the painful electrical jolt that pierced his body and set his nerves on fire. Slowly, Ed took a few deep breaths before opening his eyes to look at the reattached automail. Slowly he raised his right arm and flexed the hand, bent the elbow, rolled the shoulder joint. Then, he bent his knee, rolled his ankle, and bent his toes in turn. Everything seemed to be in working order.

Gently, Ed rolled down the white sleeve on the metal prosthetic and let his pant leg roll down to shield the leg.

Mustang and company stood off to one side of the room, watching curiously, except Hawkeye who helped in reattaching Ed's leg while Al got his arm. As Ed stood up from the sofa, shakily taking a breath, his nerves violently complained at the pressure put on the raw nerves now covered by metal prosthetics.

"Wow brother…" Al said quietly, blinking at Ed. "That's the calmest reaction you've ever had to automail reattachment before."

An uneven laugh escaped Ed's lips as he shook his head a little. Maybe his muscles were still too tired and sore from the transmutation performed on them to react properly, or maybe it really wasn't that painful anymore. It sure as hell paled in comparison to recent events, so maybe.

"Guess I'm just used to it by now, huh?" Ed commented lightly, glancing over as Al and Hawkeye moved to get up.

"So, uh…what're you guys still doing here again?" The former blonde asked, letting his gaze scan over Mustang and his unit. Really though, they were Ed's unit too. Hell, he'd go so far as to call them friends, all things considered. Not that he really minded them being around, it was just he was a bit curious.

"Brother!" Al yelped indignantly, flicking Ed's temple and making the elder cringe. "I invited them to stay for dinner! We have plenty of money to order out with and I think we owe them for coming for us."

"Yeah, yeah, okay." Grumbling all the way, Ed began shuffling towards the stairs, vaguely hearing Al inviting Mustang, Hawkeye, Breda, Fuery, Falman, and Havoc to make themselves comfortable.

Oh, right. Havoc was back in the military now once he'd been given that serum Mustang had found in the Fuhrer's office. The one that forced nerves to regrow. The guy was still rehabilitating, but doing wonderfully, now able to walk around freely. Still Havoc needed to avoid physical exertion, so he was stuck in the office doing paperwork and the like for now.

Ed huffed under his breath and shuffled away towards the other side of the room.

The house had a roomy feel to it. The living room, which he was just leaving, had multiple sofas, a couple of comfy armchairs, ceiling fan, fire hearth, coffee table, endcabinets, lamps, a couple bookcases with leisure reading, and some huge thing covered with a white cloth in the corner. The whole setup was a bit messy, but Ed and Al never really rearraged, so got used to the scattered setup. Ed rather like the room that way anyways. The living room was to the righ of the entrance hallway, where as directly in front of the front door was the staircase upstairs with Ed's room, Al's room, the bathroom, and a couple guestrooms. To the left of the front door was the rather immaculate kitchen, kept as such by Al, understandably. The back of the house had another hallway connecting to both the kitchen and living room as well as the study/library and extra empty room. Not to mention a back door. Scattered through the house were personal touches like photos, a replica of Alphonse's armor, a Flamel's cross ornament, and other little touches.

Just as Ed was about to start up the stairs, he felt a grip land on his shoulder and he grew tense.

This had been what he wasn't looking forward to. So far, Ed had managed to weasel his way out of explaining by sleeping the whole ride back to Central and then as soon as they got home insisted on automail reattachment so he could at least move around.

'Sides, he wasn't about to try and explain something even he didn't have any sort of handle on yet. For a moment, Edward's mind stumbled, unsure why exactly it was he was hiding this severe condition from everyone, but he punched it out of his mind, really not wanted to dwell on that quite yet.

And yet, here was Mustang, trying to get involved. "Fullmetal-"

"Look, Mustang," Ed bit out, then stopped short when he realized how harsh his tone was. When he'd first spoken after the transmutation earlier that day, he'd masked his surprise wonderfully, but inwardly he'd been in a full blown panic. His _voice_ had _changed_. Now he was talking to Mustang and Ed could swear he could feel a growl bubbling just beneath the surface. Pushing the odd inclination away he sighed lightly and continued in a quieter tone. "Please, don't do this to me. Not yet. You'll get your answers when you get them. You'll have to settle for that."

Then, pulling away, Ed disappeared up the stairs, letting his bangs hide his face from his superior officer.

As soon as the Bastard Colonel was left behind, Ed made a bee-line for the bathroom, hating how forced every movement felt. Not only that, but his stomach had been going on a rampage, but he couldn't do much about that 'til the food got there, so for now, he'd settle for a nice hot shower.

Stepping into the upstairs lavatory, Edward shut the door softly behind him and fought back a sigh of relief that he was finally alone. Now for damage inspection.

It really was a nice house he had bought for he and Al. The bathroom was especially nice in Ed's opinion, considering how many public restrooms he'd seen, he knew how to appreciate the clean environment it provided. The walls were tinted light blue and the floor was white tile that clacked every time steel foot hit as Ed moved. On the far wall was the bathtub and shower, kitten decorated curtains Alphonse had put up kept drawn. The sink was against the adjacent wall with a face mirror just above and to the side a full body one. Beside the larger mirror was the toilet, which for some reason had the top covered with ceramic kitties that had been adjoined with the toilet. Ed shook his head, taking in the random cats that decorated the bathroom and muttered something about Al and his weird cat fetish.

Stopping before the full body mirror, Ed decided to get it done and over with. So, without further ado, his white long sleeve shirt was shed along with glove, pants, boxers, and sock. Stopping himself from beginning observations too early, he reached up and undid the bandanna covering his ears and looked back to the mirror with solemn gold eyes. Meeting his own gaze for a few moments, Ed let his eyes scan over his mirrored image.

He was never quite sure what to think when he looked at himself in the mirror and saw all these scars marring tanned skin. Raising his flesh hand, he traced the curve of his neck, specifically, the edge of the automail port that was embedded into his skin, skimming the dark scars. All along the way, scattered over his chest and arm, his sides and legs, were more mementos of his difficult life. He would carry these reminders, this burden, willingly though. As long as he could protect Alphonse. Thus his hand came to his navel where he splayed his fingers over the strangely shaped scar from the rather unsavory incident back at Fort Briggs when Kimblee collapsed a tower on him and was left for dead.

That's when he took a deep breath and really took himself in.

Noticeable change number one was the one that he'd had no real way of covering was his hair. Roots of his lockes were still shining gold, but soon faded to an inky black that resembled the night sky, or the pitch darkness of a lightless room, or maybe the creatures within the Gate.

_Great train of thought to get onto_, Ed remarked sarcastically to himself.

Other than the color adjustment which Ed assumed was a result of Sein's genetically engineering the lion based feline DNA he was infused with, his hair had grown a bit longer, but the volume and consistency remained the same as ever. Thankfully. Ed liked his hair the way it was, unruly bangs included. The color kind bugged him cause he'd always been fond of the blonde tresses he bore, but the black wasn't all that bad…made his eyes even scarier when he glared at you.

Second most noticeable issue, which Ed had managed to cover up, thank the Gate, was the fact his ears weren't particularly human in resemblance anymore. In their place was now a pair of soft to touch thick lion ears. To say the least, Ed was a bit disturbed by this change. Not that the fact he had a foot and a half long lion tail did anything to help. Rather than full out fur on the new appendages though, it was a rather short fuzz, like it was still developing. Just his luck. The fur followed the same pattern as his hair thought. Golden roots with black ends, and the further you went along the appendage, the more of the fur was black than gold.

Turning himself around, Ed looked at his back and saw how the lion tail grew straight from the end of his spine in replacement of a regular person's useless tailbone. Golden fur dominated the base of the tail and was even making a small trail on the base of his spine. He had a feeling that this wasn't the end of that.

Pausing for a moment, Edward couldn't help but admire the handiwork traced over his back in dark lines of tattoos as it shifted smoothly over muscle with ever movement he made.

This was as far as his initial observations went. Turning back around so his front face the mirror, Ed frowned at himself and traced his body with gold eyes, looking for any other changes.

Well, one he couldn't help but notice was the slight growth he seemed to have made. While one would imagine this would overjoy the young alchemist, it only served to set him on edge more. He wasn't sure why yet, but still, it probably had to do with the whole 'still experiencing random excruciating growing pains' and 'this isn't over yet' thing. Getting a growth spurt out of this only one, felt like cheating and two, would make this all the harder to hide.

Great, they'd need to contact Winry and have her come over for adjustments because Edward doubted he'd be allowed to go anywhere for a while by anyone. Go figure.

Frowning, Ed glanced down at his left arm, flexing the limb gently and looking down at his inner elbow. Decorating the junction was a mess of red dots surrounded by all kinds of bruising in various stages. One more thing to keep covered until the bruising faded.

Ed let loose a pained sigh and ran his hand through dark tresses in slight aggravation.

Looking at himself, he didn't know what to do. Ed couldn't tell them, not yet, not until he was sure he'd stopped…mutating or whatever. At least then maybe he could get a grip on the situation, but as it was, he felt helpless.

And while Al was more focused on the 'Ed is okay' aspect, Mustang was focused enough to have already figured out what happened.

He wasn't a human any longer.

The last thought stung bitterly and his hand clenched violently at his hair, only to have sharp nails embed in his scalp.

Wrenching his hand away, Ed hissed in annoyance at the additional injury to his worn body, no matter how minor. The moment Ed realized what he was doing, his gold eyes widened in shock. He just hissed. A feral _cat_ like hiss. Fuck.

Looking back down at his hand revealed a small amount of blood darkening his nails which were as short as always, but now pointed in a short claw like fashion. Feeling his breath quicken, Ed looked back at the mirror and grit his teeth. Then he saw it.

Sharp bright white fangs greeted his vision, only noticeable if you were looking for the change but it was there.

And then it struck. Somewhere deep deep down inside of Ed, a feeling that he'd practically forgotten unless it came to Al.

Fear. A creeping sensation of doubts twined into the threads of his mind as he uselessly tried to push the feeling away. Edward Elric was not scared. He couldn't afford to be.

Breathing deeply through his nose, Ed turned to the bathtub and turned the water on, waiting for it to warm up. Quickly stepping into the tub and drawing the curtain behind him, he turned on the shower, feeling his breath hitch slightly when the hot water struck him.

Rivulets of warm water slid down his skin and soaked his hair as Ed stood there, tilting his head back appreciatively, unable to help the soft rumbling purr that was thrumming from him. Heat was like a drug to Edward. Something he coveted and basked in. Due to his automail, staying warm in cold weather was a huge hassle. Sure, he stuck with the cold weather model, but it still sucked his body heat like a leech. Thus Ed always savored the relaxing warmth of a shower.

Focusing on his breathing, slowly and methodically, Ed began relaxing he muscles in his body group by group until he felt like a boneless lump as he leaned up against the shower wall, eyelids drooping slightly. Finally, the stiffness was fading to a dull ache he could ignore easily.

Darker thoughts now shoved aside in the half blonde's calm state, his natural curiosity reared its head and he glanced over his shoulder down at the short tail that now accompanied him. Experimentally, without any real thought, he twitched the end of the appendage, finding himself fascinated when it obeyed. Was it really that easy to control? He swished the full length slightly, watching how the water fell off and the fur plastered close to the tail, the tuft of midnight fur at the end sopping wet.

Switching attention to his ears, Ed began experimenting with motion range. They flicked, angled forward, back, sideways, even flattened to his head with ease. It was easy to see he was intrigued with this new alteration to his body as long as he wasn't too busy contemplating all the fucked up consequences.

After enjoying the hot spray, Ed reached through the clouds of steam to get to the shampoo and skillfully began lathering his hair with his left hand. He'd learned early on that hair and automail didn't get along, especially with all the joints and plates. So, to avoid tangling, awkward situations, and haircuts, Ed learned to clean his hair with only one hand. He even lathered his ears and tail. After rinsing the soapy substance off, he repeated with conditioner and just stood under the warm smattering of water for a while after, unconsciously purring even louder.

Something he was subconsciously relieved of was that a cat's natural dislike of getting wet hadn't transferred into his head.

Finally after at least forty five minutes, Ed was forced to turn off the shower due to a rather insistent stomach ache. Stepping out, he dried himself off with a clap of hands and some sparks of blue lightning signifying an alchemic reaction. Quickly donning the clothes he had from before, Ed scurried out of the bathroom in a billow of steam and down the hall to his room.

Maybe five minutes later he came down the stairs and walked into the living room, promptly ignoring the way attention instantly shifted to him instantly and the rather surprised expressions adorning the military men's faces. They'd never seen Ed look so relaxed, not even when he was in the hospital or dozing on couches in the office. The lazy countenance on his face and languid slump to his shoulders was foreign to them Then again, they'd never really spent any time in the Elric home yet, so had yet to learn of the many quirks Ed and Al possessed in their own sanctuary.

Now black hair was tied back in a ponytail and the red bandanna was back, tied just beneath the hairband and positioned so his would cover his ears. Other than that he wore a long sleeved black shirt and dark grey sweat pants with a pair of black socks and typical white gloves. Instantly his golden eyes latched onto the many pizza boxes on the table and his expression lit up with a smile. Only it wasn't the usual smile he got when he was about to inflict pain or that mischievous 'you're-so-screwed' grin, it was a genuine gentle smile that earned him the same response from Alphonse.

Al's smile…Ed's heart skipped at the feeling of pure joy that his little brother even could smile now. He would never take it for granted again.

"Hey brother. I ordered extras since I knew you'd probably be hungry. That is, hungrier than usual," Al quipped and couldn't suppress a giggle when Ed's stomach announced quite loudly how hungry he was. His smile took on a slightly sheepish lilt and the half blonde quickly strode over to the particular couch Alphonse resided.

"Thank Al," Ed said happily, glad for the military folk in his home finally returning to their own conversations. Flopping down on the couch next to Al, he promptly snatched up an untouched pizza and began devouring its contents at a disturbing rate. Al just shook his head at his brother's ravenous appetite and began chatting amiably with the others. About what, Ed wasn't sure at all, He'd tuned them all out, focusing only on satisfying the internal snarling of his stomach.

Probably by his lonesome, Edward demolished six pizzas before his intake rate began to slow. He'd ignored the little giggles Al kept letting off every time the boy looked over and saw his elder brother stuffing his face greedily. Finally Ed felt fed and began slumping back against the couch. Reaching up to wipe his mouth with a hand, his hand was smacked away with a napkin and he looked over to Al giving him a stern look.

Grinning, Ed used the napkin and proceeded to chuck the trash at Havoc who was staring sadly where Ed had snatched a piece of pizza out of his hand.

"Stop pouting," the young alchemist snorted before yawning widely, unknowingly baring his fangs. Those were, luckily, overlooked. Stretching out on his couch, his feet ended up invading Al's space, but they were used to it by now and his feet came to rest on Al's lap.

"Tired brother?" Al asked, looking over at Ed with compassionate gray eyes.

"Yeah…just a bit…" The older teen murmmered, feeling his eyes droop in a sudden wave of fatigue. Fuery and Falman were staring at him oddly, still marveling at how much Ed ate, Havoc moved on to help finish the obscene amounts of pizza purchased, Hawkeye was looking at Ed with vague amusement, Breda was dozing in one of the armchair and Mustang was giving Ed an deep look.

In fact, those onyx eyes had yet to deviate from Ed since the moment he came downstairs.

Moving golden orbs to meet his CO's dark gaze, he quirked one eyebrow in question while folding his arms behind his head.

"Something up, Bastard?"

The nickname earned Ed a look of slight annoyance before Mustang closed his eyes contemplatively.

"Edward, I understand you don't feel up to answering questions right now and that we'll just have to wait for the report, but…" Mustang broke off, opening his eyes back up to give Ed a slightly worried look and in moments the comfortable atmosphere dissolved into a nervous quiet. The military officers were now giving Ed worried looks though Al was looking about quizzically, still just glad he had his brother back and not quite understanding the train of thought the others had going.

"They had Alphonse, so I can only assume they were using him as leverage against you. I'm just wondering, how much did they do to you? Did they…ah…" The General seemed to be at at a loss for words as he tried to figure out a way to ask what he wanted without disturbing the innocent waters of Alphonse's mind.

'_Were you raped?'_ The question showed in Mustang's face and Edward just stared at him for a long moment, face devoid of emotion. This caused Mustang's brows to furrow lightly, but before he could continue, Ed broke off the stare by letting his eyes fall shut and letting out a deep breath.

"No Mustang. They didn't do anything of the sort. Alright?" The tone Ed used was the solemn and left no room for doubt. Mustang couldn't seem to resist the question though.

"If they'd threatened you with Alphonse, would you have let them?" The vetran queried quietly and Ed merely turned away.

The unspoken answer was clear.

'_Yeah. I would have.'_

"What? Do what? Brother?" Alphonse asked, glancing around the room worriedly, distraught by the sudden discomfort.

"Nothing Al." Ed's voice instantly picked back up to its usual cheeriness he had when speaking to his younger brother and he even gave him a comforting smile. It was hard for Ed to frown when looking at his beloved little brother and knowing he was there, as he should be, flash and blood, not cold unfeeling steel.

Al frowned a little but nodded hesitantly.

Clearing his throat, Havoc quickly changed subject by launching into complaint about Mustang stealing his latest girlfriend. While the occupants of the home fell into relaxed conversation, Ed felt himself drifting off to sleep.

Pain.

It seized his body and tore at his very being. It felt like his lungs were being compressed and squeezed but at the same time as if they were blowing up like balloons and about to pop. His stomach was twisted in nine different knots and his heart felt like it was weak as a newborn kitten only it was racing like he was running a four day marathon. Muscles screamed. Bones felt like they were shattering apart. His spine felt like it was being twisted like a wet rag.

He wasn't sure if the taste of blood was from him hacking it up or nearly biting his lip off.

It felt as if there was a sudden sharp yank on his back and he fell from the couch. He grunted as his face smacked the floor, impact ever so slightly cushioned by carpet. His limbs clawed uselessly at the carpet as he tried to ground himself against the onslaught of his body's fury.

Veins felt like they were being stretched and pulled. Blood felt like liquid fire and his throat and mouth were as dry as desert sand. Phantom limbs felt like they were being broken over and over just like every other bone in his body until he was just a quivering heap on the ground, unable to move, speak, or even think as the pain still gripped his body.

Then it was black.

* * *

**Review, please! I really want to hear any thoughts on the progress with this fiction so far. I'd like to give a thank you to everyone who took the time to read this story and thank the people who have reviewed for the first couple chapters so far.**

**Once again, sorry for the lack of updates on my other two stories, but I don't want to force the writing and end up making a shitty chapter that disappoints everyone and ruin the stories.**

**Next chapter will be longer too. Just thought this was a nice cut off point.**

**Thanks again for any and all support~**


	4. Chapter 4

**Well, I was gone all last week, so I'm tired as hell from sleep deprivation. Still, chappie four is here!**

**So, as said, my muse for my other stories is still rotting in a corner which disappoints me severely, but there's not much I can do about it. Also, ideas for this story or input is always, always appreciated, so feel free.**

**So, can you guess the main pairing yet? If not, analyze this chapter closely. I'm pretty sure I gave it away.**

**Warnings: Unbeta'd, Manga-verse/Post Promised Day, AU, Mature themes, cussing, future slash and/or yaoi**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.**

**Enjoy~ ;D**

* * *

Edward groaned in pain when he awoke the next morning. Slowly coming around, he managed to pry his eyes open. His vision swam as he turned his head to look towards the window. Barely daybreak. With a long suffering sigh, he squeezed his eyes shut again. Rolling onto his back, Ed winced at the severe aches that rippled through him.

Forcing himself to go limp, Ed waited for the pain to fade.

Again he cracked his eyes open, staring blearily at the ceiling, absolutely disgusted with how weak he felt at the moment. Blinking wearily, the half blonde chimera's vision cleared.

It only took a moment for him to notice the difference. He could see the details of the offwhite ceiling above him as if it were through a magnifying glass. He could pick out the tone changes in the paint and little uneven spaces. Switching his gaze to the ceiling fan at the center of the ceiling, he could see the contours of the glass covers, the little indents and slight chip here and there. Every line of the wood stood out like a neon sign and he could even read the little writing on the light bulbs that told the watt and warning.

It was amazing.

Marveling at the clarity, he turned gold eyes on the ground under the sofa just by his head. Despite the shadow, he could see bits of lint, a crumpled up receipt, and a few coins. Awed, Ed traced the edges of the paper with his eyes. Lifting his gaze slightly, he examined beige sofa. He could pick out each thread of soft material, the fuzz that got stuck to it, a stray hair from Alphonse, even the ever so light left over stain from when they first got the couch. He could pick out how some little areas of the edges were slightly worn where others were not even though they looked nearly exactly the same.

Yesterday, he wouldn't have known the difference. Sure, it was a trivial little thing he was observing, but it was stunning at how his eyesight suddenly became sharper than Hawkeye's aim.

Letting out a shaky laugh, Ed felt excitement build in him despite the fear he'd beat down yesterday showing itself. It was just too damn awesome.

Taking a deep breath, he realized something else. He could smell the leftover scents of cheese, sauce, and dough from the pizza yesterday, lingering traces of the weird burnt vaccum smell he complained about a lot whenever the contraption was in use, the spicy scent of the hair products he used, the metallic grease from his automail, and various other background scents. Even a little bit of Havoc's colone.

Wow.

Enthralled, Ed decided to see how his hearing was and switched focus. He could hear a car outside on the street pass the house and birdsong from outside. Inside he could hear the slight creak of the wood in the house somewhere far off. He could hear the near inaudible shuffling as Alphonse shifted in his bed. He could even hear the drip of water from the kitchen sink.

It was like every sense was put on a triple sugar high. Everything was so clear cut and amplified, so amazingly different despite it was all still the same. It hadn't changed, he had. It was like a child seeing a flower for the first time. They were fascinated with the colors of the petals, the subtle smell of the flora, the texture of the green leaves sprouting from the stem.

Everything was so wonderfully different without changing at all and Edward was sure any other person would be completely freaked out and in the middle of a nervous breakdown by now.

But he wasn't any other person. That didn't mean he wasn't conflicted about this though.

This wasn't how he was supposed to be able to see the world, no matter how amazing it all seemed at the moment. The only reason he could see it like this was because he was turned into the 'perfect chimera' or in other terms, greatest abomination of nature to ever grace the plane of the living.

Part of him was severely disturbed too. He was enjoying it. Loving it in fact. It was just wrong. He should hate it and what he'd been turned into. It felt wrong, but at the same time as if he was born for this godforsaken body. Ironic, neh?

That and even cats didn't have senses this profound.

Not quite wanting to get into that train of thought this early in the morning, Ed went to stand up only to realize something was majorly wrong. Mainly the fact he went crashing to his left the moment he stood. Jerking back, he fell heavily into the couch with a thump. Gold eyes wide, they flew to his legs and his jaw actually dropped.

Mismatched legs were even worse them before. Last night, his automail leg had been just a few inches shorter than the real one. Now, it was _at least_ seven inches off.

Holy _shit_.

This was just…weird. Too weird. Sure, Ed was always wishing he was taller, but to so suddenly have that little wish granted was too strange.

It was then Ed realized his clothes were some sizes too small.

Now how did he get upstairs to address that issue?

Ed had to resort to a weird hobbling to move through the house which he tried not to feel too humiliated about. Just as he was closing the door to his room, he heard Al moving around in his own quarters. Not that this was too surprising. Alphonse had always been a morning person. Unlike every other Elric though, Ed always woke up in horrible humor and would be shooting looks that could kill at every person he came in contact with. Well, not today. Ed was too hyped on his sensory overload to care to be grumpy.

Ed went about his business, awkwardly moving about as he collected clothes to transmute to a larger size. Shedding what he already wore, Ed blinked in confusion. There, down by his foot, waving about was the same lion tail that was only a foot and a half last night. It was furrier too. Reaching up and feeling his ears, Ed found they two were fuzzier, more covered like they should be. Well, not that he was supposed to have cat ears but…oh, you get it.

Glancing back down, gold eyebrows hitched high when he saw his elbow junction on the flesh arm was clear. Maybe a vague mark was there, but otherwise, fine. Amazing what could happen overnight. Hesitantly, Ed ran his tongue over his teeth to find them sharper and longer, but also his tongue felt…rougher?

Taking a deep breath and setting these observations aside for later consideration, Ed transmuted the clothes before him into a fitting black tank top, dark red sweats, and boxers. Some lighter pants may have been preferable, but for now Ed would stick to practical. The sweats would do a better job of hiding the now four or so foot tail. Pausing for a moment and frowning, the golden eyed teen inspected his nails. Not only were they longer and sharper, they were thicker. Well, great…Ed got some gloves and socks too.

Just as the alchemic lights faded, Ed heard Alphonse's door open and the humming of a light cheery tune. Al was definitely a morning person. He even went to the trouble to make Ed coffee and breakfast, not that he felt he deserved Al's kindness.

By the time Ed managed to don the clothes, he'd exhausted what little energy he had and fell onto the bed.

"Brother?"

The call was muffled by the fact they were a floor apart, but Ed still heard Al's voice loud and clear. His coffee was ready…Mmmm, black coffee. No milk, or creamer, or sugar. Just coffee the way it was meant.

For one horror struck moment, Ed wondered if a cat's natural love of milk had messed with his taste buds. He'd look into that dilemma later.

Reaching up, Ed fumbled around a bit as he pulled his hair back into a messy ponytail and adjusted the red bandanna.

"Brother!" The yell was louder this time and Ed could guess his little brother had just checked the living room. Propping himself up enough to swing his legs over the edge of the bed, Ed promptly stomped on the floor to clue Al in to where he was.

Not a minute later, the door burst open.

"Brother there you are! Your co-" Alphonse was spouting cheerily until he took a good look at the elder Elric and froze, mouth still forming the word 'coffee.'

Eyes met and Edward once more found himself enthralled as he examined his little brother with newfound clarity. Every little crease in his cheeks was clear. Ed was still amazed how Al still seemed to have a bit of baby fat left. The half blonde now noticed how there was an outer ring of dark gray in Alponse's eyes. He noticed how there were little flecks of various shades of gray smattered in those innocent depths. Ed noticed the curve of Al's face and chin, how his skin was an odd pale tan. Edward noticed the line of Al's neck and the pink shade of his lips, and Ed was nearly hypnotized as he began going over each and every little line of the soft looking flesh. Soft and savory and oh so edible looking that he just wanted to-

"Brother, what happened?" Al finally seemed to snap out of his shock and stared wide eyed at Ed. It was probably a good thing too.

"Well, it would seem that I've grown some seven odd inches," Ed stated rather matter of factly before he paused in shock. Again, his voice had changed. Deeper and smoother now than what his voice had been just yesterday when it had changed. Shoving aside the surprise, he reached to smooth his tank top out, forcing his eyes off of his little brother, brushing off the very _very_ weird train of thought as his wonderment with his advanced senses.

"I can see that, but…how!" Alphonse cried out, coming over to inspect the chimera teen carefully, fully unaware of the 'chimera' part. Ed had to pull his head back a bit to maintain at least a few inches between their faces. Oblivious, Al just continued looking him over. Rather intently.

"Really not sure Al, but, uhm…what were you saying?"

Finally the younger pulled back and began biting his lip and frowned.

"Well, your coffee and breakfast is ready…Want some help downstairs before I go shower?" Al asked. After receiving a nod from Edward, he helped his older brother stand and get down the stairs to the kitchen where the semi blonde flopped down on his usual chair.

Wincing slightly, Ed reached down to massage gingerly at the base of his automail port on his leg.

"Something wrong?" The caramel haired teen asked, eyeing Ed curiously.

"Just my automail ports…it's like they're constricting the area around them painfully. I think I'm actually gonna need port adjustments," Ed responded offhandedly with a distracted frown. To get port adjustments meant another bout of automail surgery. Crap.

Alphonse winced sympathetically before giving his brother a gentle hug. "Well, we called Winry last night after you knocked off because we knew you'd need at least better fitting arm and leg. She should be here later today." Pulling back Alphonse headed back toward the hall before he paused and looked back at Ed apologetically. "Also, I hear Teacher'll be in town later this week. Eh heh heh…" Trailing off with a nervous laugh, Al sped off up the stairs.

Ed just stared blankly where Alphonse disappeared for a few moments before comprehension struck and he let off a wild string of curses. Teacher would be there while he was prepping for automail replacement surgery. Winry would most definitely be living here with them while she was here, nearly cause him a concussion for outgrowing the ports and not giving her fair warning to get the right supplies, and dress him down to get measurements. He had to do a report still on the occurrences in the lab. Top it all off with the fact he was hiding the fact he was a chimera, the next few weeks weren't looking pleasant at all.

Grabbing his coffee off the table, Ed blew lightly on the liquid caffeine to cool it before downing the cup in one go.

It was going to be a long day.

Thirty minutes later, Alphonse came downstairs with a blue t-shirt on and dark pants. The younger teen was toweling his hair dry. After having a teacher like theirs, the Elrics rarely used alchemy for parlor tricks, but Ed didn't really feel like towel drying last night.

Ed had gotten his hands on the coffee pot, so that was totally empty, his plate was completely cleaned off and he has sitting up on the counter by the sink in an odd cross legged position.

Gold eyes unfocused, Ed was busy contemplating how exactly he was gonna pull this off…or at least mentally work all this out before he ended up confronted about it. Which he had the horrible feeling today Mustang would be sure to confront him about it.

Somewhere outside of his thoughts he vaguely heard Al say something about Mustang and the others stopping by and him going out to get something and pick up someone. Unconsciously he nodded when Al asked if he was okay with that so without further ado, Al left the premises.

Thus left Ed to his devices.

Though he tried to focus on planning some way to keep his mutations hidden, no matter how fruitless the effort was, his thoughts kept straying to conflicts he just didn't want to confront just yet. So, the semi blonde decided that he'd try and accommodate whatever happens.

Now it was time for experimenting. Hopping down from the counter, Ed made his way to the fridge where he confronted his mortal enemy.

Milk.

Taking the carton in flesh hand and holding like some disease infested rag, he poured the smallest amount into a cup. Instantly the carton was back in the fridge, away from view, items rattling with the force upon which the door was slammed. Ed was half tempted to throw the damned white liquid out the window, but then Al would come back and yell at him for wasting perfectly good cow secretions. Glaring dangerously at his cup, Ed picked it up and eyed the contents with palpable malice. Unfortunately, liquid as such was inanimate, so he couldn't kill it with mean looks.

Curses.

Steeling himself, Ed drained the cup in a flash.

There was a pause.

Then the white demon filth was spewed out of his mouth into the sink with venom. Well, that was one problem solved. Milk was still on the black list. Internally Ed was torn between a victory dance and throwing up his guts at willingly attempting to ingest milk. He blamed science.

A glass of water and clean sink later, Ed decided to see what they had in the freezer for frozen snacks and the like.

Well, there was frozen fruit, fudgesicles, an unopened container of rainbow ice cream, a wrapped up-woah, woah, wait.

Rainbow ice cream.

Pulling the gallon tub out, Ed eyed it strangely. He wasn't exactly an ice cream person due to his dairy prejudice issues, though he could stand the coffee flavors well. Thinking about it now, he _was_ kinda in the mood for the frozen dessert. But this was Al's. His little brother's favorite actually. Ed would always ask why he had to have the rainbow colored when the vanilla apparently was exactly the same. Only _nooooooo_~ it **has** to be the colorful tub of eye rape.

Maybe Al wouldn't notice if he ate a little bit…

So much for 'a little bit.' Maybe half an hour later, Ed had succeeded in avoiding brain freeze and cleaning out the ice cream tub. Now it sat innocently on the kitchen counter, spoon dropped at the bottom. Finally Ed just lazed on the couch, frowning a little. What could he do, what could he do. With mis-sized automail, moving around wasn't easy at all, so training or going out wasn't an option. Seeing as how he just cleaned out a gallon of ice cream, eating anything else would result in Alphonse's full wrath then just a fit at his brother's idiocracy. Or guilt tripping. Ed hated it when Al did that.

Heaving a great sigh, Ed decided maybe it was time he nitpick into the issue at hand.

Pulling out the hair band holding his hair up, the dark tresses fell around his head and across the red bandanna as he shifted positions so he sprawled across the couch, feet now propped against the armrest unlike just last week.

This genetic changes made to him affected his senses, body, instincts, but not the mind or soul. That Ed was relieved for and really _really_ hoped they got right. So far it would seem there were no issues with his mind and Ed had no clue how to check his soul, but genetics had nothing to do with that so it should be fine.

Sein, the shithead, had told the young State Alchemist he'd have to figure these things out for himself. Discover the changes 'on his own.'

Well, his senses had become more sensitive than possible any other creature's on the planet. It was a little odd to Ed that they'd be boosted so much when he was just supposed to be a lion based chimera. Felines didn't even have senses as heightened as this, so that told him that they'd done some serious enhancement with the DNA they'd put in him.

He'd have to get used to having everything running on double high definition though.

His body was a little disturbing though. He didn't want to be morphed into some cat or even worse, some pained creature trapped in between. Ed paused as the horrifying memories from so long ago of Nina cropped up. He wasn't able to help her then. Alchemists, the people closest to gods despite the irony, couldn't or wouldn't do anything to save her. So Scar sent her off. Ed still didn't know what to feel about that. Did he scorn the Ishbalan for that act of cold blooded compassion or thank him for having the strength to take the life of a little girl. Nether choice was real favorable.

Back on topic, Ed realized he was one of those lucky enough to not be screwed up when transmuted even though the process by which he was changed was far different from others. Other chimeras were mostly formed by combining two animals where the souls, minds, and bodies bonded and one soul and mind would devour the other pretty much. The whole genetics mess was a new playing field, and from what Ed gathered, he was the only chimera of that kind to be released. Not that he'd be free for long if the higher ups found out and decided to take action on it. Though, then again, there weren't many higher than him anymore and the military didn't exactly work that way anymore.

Still, when, not if, but when, everyone else found out, Edward'd need to be able to answer questions so he wouldn't end up in some lab as a dissection subject. Thus, he needed to work things out, but so far it seemed like his body was on a rampage, using every scrap of energy it got to mess with his body even more. He was hoping beyond hope it'd be done soon because that fit he had last night wasn't fun at all.

What if he didn't stop morphing though? What if it continued until he was some animal stuck between human and feline? What if he kept getting these random growth spurts?

Groaning and running gloved steel fingers through his hair, Ed moved to massage the sore aching at the bases of his automail.

There were too many variables he didn't know. Ed was aware that there had been various tests before him to perfect their chimera creation process before it was used on him, but he'd like the research and solid evidence rather than just taking their word for it, thank you very much.

And the whole instincts thing was what scared him. Yes, scared, if just a little. Thing was, Ed had no clue what could go wrong with that. Cats reacted to things he normally wouldn't, so he'd need to come to terms with those little urges and learn to suppress them, but first he had to know what they were. A disturbing fact that Edward was aware of was that male lions had prides. The pride leader often had himself a harem for lack of better wording. Would that make him…well, would this whole thing cause his hormones to start going nuts at every ass he saw like Mustang does, because frankly Ed was not eager to turn into a womanizing shithead. It probably didn't help that his modesty was pretty much shot. Cats also seemed to have the tendency to play with strings or dangling objects, chase birds and hunt. Ed didn't really want to end up with some ferocious predator instinct to prey on little animals or get some affinity for raw meat.

Speaking of raw, sushi sounded nice for dinner. He was sure that Xingese place down the street served- Dammit! Did this shorten his attention span or something or did he really not like thinking about all this that much?

Truthfully, it made him nervous. What if he ended up doing something? Something bad? What if he couldn't help it? What if he couldn't control himself and he hurt someone? All these people around him, what if he turned on them because of some altercation to his instincts that got the better of him? The teen wasn't even sure if he would be able to hold himself back seeing as how he'd already started up with weird things like barely suppressed kitty noises.

Perhaps most disturbing of it all was that rather than feeling like a stranger in his own body, Ed felt more comfortable than ever like this, despite all else, and it freaked him the hell out, even if he didn't show it. Why would a human being feel more in tune with themselves as a chimera rather than the creature they were born as? Thing was, the thought of reversing the chimera creation had never even crossed his mind, though it was probably impossible considering the level upon which he was formed.

Sheesh, he made himself sound like some cracked up nutjob.

Ed spent the next few hours were spent resting, or at least attempting to.

Then, maybe he was a nutjob if he was really climbing out the window to go kill that bird that wouldn't shut up.

* * *

When Mustang and Havoc arrived later that day and knocked on the door, the sight that greeted them was far far different than expected.

Ed yanked the door open irritably as he tried to ignore the headache the size of Mustang's ego that was eating at his brain. Long two toned lockes fell around his head and he was sure he looked pretty disheveled with mussed up clothes and hair. What probably shocked Mustang the most though, even more than the roasted bird on a stick clutched between Edward's unusually long sharp teeth, was the fact Ed was just barely below eyelevel with him now where as yesterday there had been a good few inches difference.

"Edward…why do you have a bird in your mouth?" The Flame Alchemist asked slowly, cocking an eyebrow at his subordinate as Havoc gawked, letting his cigarette slip from his mouth and fall to the ground.

Blinking slowly at the man before him, Ed tried to focus beyond the fury of his pounding head. Raven hair, onyx eyes, rather conceited, military uniform, irritating voice-Mustang.

Fighting back the urge to slam the door in Mustang's face, Ed pushed it open wider and turned on his heel to hobble off to the kitchen and get his drink. Well, they weren't Al and he doubted they'd tell his brother, so he could still have a can of the beer he'd stashed away. Yay for alchemy trapdoors. If he could, he'd be drinking water and taking an aspirin or five but no. They ran out a while back and never got around to rectifying that little problem. So he'd stick with the beer.

Nabbing three of them, the teen began trudging back into the living room which had pretty much become the gathering point since Mustang and Havoc went to make themselves comfortable there. Only problem was Havoc was about to get comfortable on his couch.

Wait, what?

A rumbling growl emanated through the room, causing both men to stop short when the hair on the back of their necks pricked. Simultaneously the two turned to look back at Ed whose teeth had viciously sunk into the roast bird carcass and he glared pure death at Havoc. Jumping a little when he noticed the look was directed at him, the older blonde quickly moved to hide behind Mustang. Kinda sad.

Still giving Havoc the evil eye, Ed plodded over to his couch and fell into the familiar sprawl he always had when he lay there. Sure, there was another couch, but this one was his. The growl died down into incoherent grumbling.

Finally letting up with the murder intent, Ed tossed two beers at the military personnel, not particularly giving a crap if they managed to catch them or not.

Pity, might've been funny if instead of fumbling a little Havoc had actually dropped it so he could go back to wanting to thoroughly maim him-

Fuck. This was _exactly_ what he was afraid of! He was thinking like a deranged killer just looking for an excuse because Havoc nearly sat on his couch. His couch dammit, but still, you don't kill someone over a couch. You just throw them off.

"Fullmetal, you look like crap. And I'll have to ask you to try not to scare the shit out of my other subordinates," Mustang said, settling on an armchair and opening the beer. "Where did you manage to get this? Doesn't Alphonse have this house under alcohol ban?"

"Yeah yeah," Ed sneered after taking the bird on a stick out of his mouth and chewed his rather vicious bite. Edward didn't exactly need the ravenette admonishing him right now. "State Alchemist watch, duh. And it's my house. If I want beer, then I'll have it. Al can get over it."

"But you still wouldn't have this out when he was around?" Mustang shot back, familiar smirk ghosting his face.

"Shut it," Ed warned before taking another large chunk off the roast poultry.

"Ummm, Boss?" Havoc asked hesitantly, looking much like a spooked deer as he stared at Ed. It actually kind hurt him that he'd scared Havoc that much. Thing is, he couldn't claim he wouldn't actually hurt him because Ed didn't know for sure himself.

The chimera cast golden eyes on Havoc and raised a curious eyebrow while taking another bite of bird.

"Why do you have a bird on a stick?" The blonde man asked, giving the bird Ed was clutching a weird look.

"What do you mean? I was hungry," Ed replied in a tone that much implied the question 'are you a retard?' Then under his breath he muttered, "And the damn thing wouldn't shut up."

Did that really justify climbing out a window, impaling the creature on a stick, plucking it, and roasting in the fire pit out back? Right, he'd need to tell Al they had a fire pit now.

Mustang and Havoc still giving him odd looks, Ed easily opened his beer with automail hand and took a swig. Ah. Setting the can down on an end table, he went to finish off his poultry snack.

"So, pipsqueak, ready to give that report yet?

The stick held in flesh fingers snapped, making the meat fall on Ed's stomach and metal fingers creaked with strain as Ed went rigid at the jab.

Every drop of willpower in his being was spent to keep himself in place and not leaping across the room to strangle his CO. Slowly lifting his head up to pierce the infuriating house guest with ferocious gold eyes, Ed nearly snapped at the man's smug countenance. Maybe he should fix that.

"Funny that. If I'm a pipsqueak, what does that make the man barely an inch taller?" Ed drawled slowly, strain clear in his voice and Mustang's hand twitched nervously. That's right, you better be scared.

Attempting to quell his thirst for Mustang's blood, Ed went to down the rest of his beer, silently laughing at Mustang's lack of response.

After a few minutes of silence in which the older military officers drank their beer and Ed finishing his snack, Mustang cleared his throat and gazed seriously at the Brigadier General.

There was calculating suspicion and Ed suddenly felt threatened by that. What if he knew? What if he figured it out? Well, there was no 'what if,' Ed knew that from the beginning. Mustang had given him the mission in the first place, so he'd know what Sein had been doing in his experiments. It was actually fairly simple to put two and two together. Actually, Ed was certain the man knew and had known.

"So, ready to give that report yet?" Mustang offered again, clearly noticing how tense Ed had become the moment he began to speak up.

"I told you I'd get it to you when I'm good and ready," Ed snapped, not particularly liking how the man was prying.

"Fine. Out of curiosity, Fullmetal, why are you wearing that bandanna?"

Fuck.

"Cause I feel like it. That a crime now, General Jackass?"

"Mind taking it off?" The dark haired vetran queried, doing quite well at sounding innocent, but the hard look in his eyes was easily discernable to Ed.

"Why the hell would I?" The teen scoffed, rolling over onto his stomach so he didn't have to look at either of the men.

The rustle of fabric and quick steps alerted Ed to what exactly Mustang was doing and he reacted like lighting.

Flipping over in a flash, his left arm shot out and snagged Mustang's outstretched wrist in a vicious grip. Ed couldn't help the feral snarling that ripped from his throat as he bared white fangs at his superior. Unbeknownst to him, his pupils had narrowed and lengthened to dangerous black slits amongst the gold.

Mustang's smirk caused Ed to tighten his grip painfully until the slight creak of bone could be heard and the elder man winced. Letting out a disgusted snort, Ed easily shoved the man back toward Havoc who'd shot off his chair in surprise.

"Guess it wasn't all that difficult to figure out, huh?" Ed growled, venom lacing his tone tightly. He was furious that Mustang comes into his own home and tried to violate him, in a manner of speaking, and that Ed had been found out that early. Pretty futile from the start though.

Mustang, having regained his balance was now giving Ed the one look he'd been dreading.

Apprehension and pity clouded dark eyes as they stared hesitantly down at him and Ed could practically smell the fear and confusion emanating from his CO. And Ed hated it. Just because he was a chimera now, all of a sudden he was a threat. Not that Edward Elric wasn't considered dangerous before hand, but now he was a threat to them. Just because he was a chimera Mustang was judging him differently. But something Edward hated more was that Mustang was scared of him. The ravenette had every right to be, considering Ed's behavior, but still, it hurt that someone who'd known him for so many years was scared of him because he wasn't quite human anymore.

It hurt dammit, because there was Mustang, giving him the wary eye and Havoc looking like a confused idiot just beside him.

Clenching his hands, Ed realized he was shaking slightly as his emotions fell apart.

"Stop staring at me like that, Mustang," Ed finally spit out, the raw emotion in his voice catching the elder off guard. "I'm still me alright! Now just stop it! Please…"

The young alchemist's voice broke as he imagined what the others would think. Would they share this look, the one that caused him so much self loathing and disgust? Because they had every right to look at him like that, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Even if it was just the General, it hurt. Maybe because he was the General. Edward would never admit it, but he respected Mustang and saw him as a close friend…But as said, the only way the man would ever hear those words was if he was about to be lynched.

"Wait, what's going on?" Havoc finally spoke up, confused by behavior of both Flame and Fullmetal alchemists, but more so, worried for the Cheif. Even if Ed had acted weirdly earlier, Havoc understood the kid was under stress. Besides, he, like the others, were fond of the unit's 'little brother.'

Mustang licked his lips nervously as he eyed Ed, slowly and carefully slipping on one of his patented pyrotex gloves. Ed saw this and anger flared across his face.

"Dammit, you fucking bastard!" Ed finally exploded, flying off his seat and despite his lack of balance, snatched the glove from his CO's hands before chucking it aside and getting right up in Mustang's face.

"Now all of a sudden I'm a threat to you huh? **Now** you're wary of me? What were you gonna do, roast me in my own home for telling you to stop making me feel like shit! I'm already freaking out about this enough, Mustang, so don't make it any worse! If you're reacting like this, how the fuck am I supposed to break it to anyone else and not expect the same reactions! Why do you think I was hiding it? Don't you get that I wouldn't be able to survive it if Alphonse started giving me the look you are!" Edward yelled furiously, his voice emanating distress and he finally backed off, breathing ragged and he raised a hand up to rub at his face.

"And I get where you're coming from, I really do, Mustang. I can't blame you either, because I don't know myself what I might end up doing, but for the love of the Gate, don't start treating me like some wild animal or I'll end up feeling like one! You're making it worse so stop. _**Now.**_" Ed finished, his last words coming with a finality that made Mustang frown and straighten up, even though he was still tense.

"What?" Havoc's confused question didn't snap either alchemist out of their intense glaring contest.

"Edward, care to explain?"

"I'm a chimera Havoc."

* * *

**Review, please! I really want to hear any thoughts on the progress with this fiction so far. I'd like to give a thank you to everyone who took the time to read this story and thank the people who have reviewed for the first couple chapters so far.**

**Once again, sorry for the lack of updates on my other two stories, but I don't want to force the writing and end up making a shitty chapter that disappoints everyone and ruin the stories.**

**Reviews are luff, as always.**

**Please tell me you guys can tell what the main pairing is now? Also, I just wanna know, but how am I doing so far with character portrayal? I'm the type of person who hates to take them OOC and screw with them, so…yeah. Opinions please? ^^;**

**Thanks again for any and all support~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Whee, chapter five! **

**I'mma be gone all this week, so I won't be able to do much work and then summer assignments that need finishing and school coming up…blargh.**

**So, as said, my muse for my other stories is still rotting in a corner which disappoints me severely, but there's not much I can do about it. Also, ideas for this story or input is always, always appreciated, so feel free.**

**If you haven't guess by now, yes, this is Elricest. I hope this does not dissuade anyone from reading this story. Any chapters that may have heavy elricest will be given an extra warning so you can skip over if you want. Also, it would seem to me that some parental!Roy/Ed has developed, I've no clue how that happened… o.o**

**Also, I'd like to give a big thanks to all the support I've gotten so far on this story! Really, it means a lot to me that people are really enjoying this. But its nice to give back to the fanfiction center that I've fed off of for so long~**

**Warnings: Unbeta'd, Manga-verse/Post Promised Day, AU, Mature themes, cussing, future slash and/or yaoi**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.**

**Enjoy~ ;D**

* * *

A deathly silence fell over the house's inhabitants as Ed continued to glare deep into Mustang's eyes.

His nonchalance over the matter had shriveled up and died and all that insecurity floated to the forefront of his mind. Even now, when he was vulnerable like this, Mustang knew Ed wouldn't break. He'd right out refuse to. Taking a deep breath, the ravenette relaxed himself and gave Ed a small nod.

The chimera teen finally backed off and fell back on the couch where he buried his face in his hands and his fingers clutched at his bangs in frustration.

"A…a chimera?" Havoc voiced quietly, not quite gripping what he was being told. Ed couldn't be.

"Yes Havoc. Chimera testing was what Professor Sein, the man Edward was sent to catch, had been researching. It was only logical that that would be what they'd used Fullmetal to experiment for," Mustang responded. Ed could feel the two pairs of eyes on him, he could smell their emotions, and he felt sick at how natural it all was.

A few moments passed until there was a deep sigh sounding in the silent room.

"I apologize Edward. It was a natural reaction I guess, having dealt with dangerous chimera before. I shouldn't have done that," The Flame Alchemist intoned quietly, only earning a bitter chuckle from the house's owner.

"Whatever, Mustang. It just frustrates me that the moment you confirmed it you assumed I wasn't me anymore when clearly, from observations of today and yesterday, I haven't changed all too much. Can't help what the whole process did to my instincts and crap though."

"So…the bird thing?" Havoc asked shyly, cocking a brow at Ed as the boy finally raised is head back up.

A slightly sour expression crossed Ed's face as his emotions began to reign themselves in and he calmed. Even when he broke down, it was never for long. "It was annoying me," He muttered mutinously, glaring at the window.

Like that, the room seemed to relax again.

Letting out a light chuckle, Mustang shook his head at Edward. "That'd be just like you."

"Bite me," Ed deadpanned.

"No thanks. Far too young and I prefer women, Fullmetal," Mustang quipped wisely earning an eye roll and a pouty look from Havoc.

"Or anyone I'm dating," The older blonde sighed, finally sitting back down in his chair.

"Quite," The General conceded, smirking lightly before casting curious look on Edward. "So, Fullmetal, mind if I inquire what kind of chimera you are now?"

Shrugging slightly, Ed reached up to yank the bandanna off, exposing curved feline ears. "Dunno exactly. The way Sein was creating chimeras was through genetically engineering the test subject, so all I know is that I'm lion based mixed with a ton of other feline traits."

Mustang laughed lightly, shaking his head as he went back to his seat.

"What?" Ed demanded, brows creasing as he frowned at the man.

Waving a hand dismissively Mustang responded. "No, no, it just suits you is all."

Grimacing at that, Ed suddenly realized just how bad his ports were aching. Letting his breath hiss out between gritted teeth, he massages his leg port gingerly, trying to calm the inflamed flesh.

"Yo, Cheif, you alright?" Havoc asked, eyeing Ed a bit oddly. Though there was that slight hesitation in his eyes, Ed was glad Havoc wasn't treating him any different. Ed felt a rush of unbidden gratitude to these military operatives that were taking everything in stride. Unfortunately, Ed wasn't sure if everyone else would cope as well.

"Yeah, I'm fantastic," Ed replied sarcastically before wincing a little at a jolt of pain and squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm just needing automail replacement surgery right now."

"What?" Havoc and Mustang exclaimed at the same time, both unable to repress the shock. Ed had suffered automail surgery once, why the hell was he getting it again?

"The ports are constricting on my shoulder and leg and need to be removed and replaced with resized models," Ed offered, trying to will away the painful aching. And he'd have to deal with this for a while before the real pain began. A shudder ran down his spine as he thought of his first run through automail surgery and how much it fucking hurt. What really sucked was the fact port removal was even worse than the surgery itself. Crap.

"Shit," Havoc murmmered sympathetically.

"Yeah." Ed sighed and opened his eyes back up to look at the two and noticed how Havoc's hand was inching towards his coat pocket. Instantly gold eyes narrowed dangerously and Ed couldn't stop himself from snapping at his elder. "No smoking in the house."

Jumping a little at the harsh tone, Havoc stood and gave a nervous laugh before retreating from the house. When the front door clicked behind him, Ed sighed. He needed to get a better reign on this. It seemed like his already volatile emotions were now super charged with aggression. All good things had a downside he supposed.

"You have to tell Alphonse."

Ed visibly cringed at those words, wishing they weren't true. Maybe he could find a way to hide this from his little brother, then everything would be fine. None of that pity or fear or anything else, just him and Al like they'd always been. No need to ruin it just because he wasn't a fucking human anymore.

Sighing, Ed looked down at his gloved flesh hand forlornly and spoke softly. "How am I supposed to tell him Mustang? How do I just break it to him that I'm not a fuckin' human anymore? That his older brothers some freak of nature? I couldn't take it if he gave me that look you did. But thing is, I feel more comfortable now like this than I ever have, and it's scary that I don't want to go back to being how I was. What if I do something though? I don't know how to control whatever messed up instincts I have now. I just…don't know what to do."

Ed missed the dumbfounded look Mustang was giving him, completely unaware of how the military General just realized that Ed was scared. Not for himself though, but for everyone around him. The few people he'd let in. Ed was afraid for them and what could happened to them because of what he'd become if he couldn't keep control of himself.

Even now, Ed wasn't worrying about the effect it may still have one him, just those closeby.

"Just tell him Ed. You trust Alphonse, don't you?"

The half blonde's head snapped up so quickly it cracked. "With my life," he snapped as if it were a fact that only an idiot wouldn't know.

"Then trust him not to leave you behind because of this Edward," Mustang soothed, amazed he even had to tell Ed this. Then again, he knew from speaking to Riza that Edward's worst fear was that Alphonse blamed him and hated him for what had happened so long ago. Of course, she found out from their childhood friend Winry. It was actually very understandable that Ed would be so afraid to tell Al. But Mustang also knew Alphonse would give anything for his beloved older brother just like Ed would for Al.

Sometimes he wondered if those two realized the chemistry that could be between them, despite blood relations. They were the perfect couple.

Wait, did he just seriously think that?

Ed just blinked down at his hand and pulled the glove off with his teeth. Looking over at Mustang he saw how the man was staring at the claws adorning where his nails had been.

"As far as I know, the only changes to me physically is the demented growth spurt, hair color change, getting claws, my teeth are all now pretty much fangs, lion ears, and I also have a lion tail," Ed supplied, deciding to at least give Mustang something seeing as how he just helped him quite a bit. Not that he'd ever admit that.

He trusted Al beyond a doubt, so this was just one more thing he'd have to have faith in. That his little brother wouldn't care.

"Speaking of which," Ed muttered, realizing that since he was gonna need to tell people now he didn't need the uncomfortable sweatpants. Clapping his hands, he easily transmuted them into dark red pajama bottoms with a hole in the back for his tail. Since he'd already done such with his boxers it was a simple matter to relocate the appendage out of his pants.

"I will need a full report on this you know," Mustang reminded, eyes following the lion tail now at the back of his subordinate and Ed stifled a snort, amused at the way onyx orbs followed the black tuft at the end.

"Yeah, I know."

* * *

Ed's ears pricked slightly at the sound of a car heading towards their street. He'd chosen a quieter area for he and Alphosne to live, so most likely this car was containing either the rest of Mustang's military men, or Al and Winry. Maybe both. Hell if Ed knew, Mustang probably sorted it all out.

Ed was propped on the couch, skimming an old alchemy book to soothe his mind. Nevermind the fact it was full of complicated fifty plus step equations that Havoc couldn't stand to look at the first line of, so he went to pick up food. To Ed, it was relaxing. Entertaining child's play. The confrontations to come however, would not be so much fun.

The terrible aching on his ports had risen above a dull roar in the back of mind to an incessant chatter. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stand to have these things on, especially if he was going to hit another erratic growth spurt.

The car did indeed pull up to his abode and the engine was killed. Outside Edward could hear the chattering of military people, the voices easy to discern as Hawkeye, Breada, Falman, and Fuery. Surprise surprise. Oh, and was that Winry declaring promises of wrenches to skulls and Alphonse attempting to calm her? Great. Just what he needed, a concussion.

Sighing in aggravation, Edward's slight bit of focus died. His thoughts were on rapid fire and Ed's entire body was tense in the face of one of the most unpleasant encounters he'd ever have in his life. He really didn't want to go through with this. Did they need to know? Ed didn't want them to start treating him differently, as they most certainly would.

These were the consequences of bargaining himself to protect Alphonse. He could deal with this, as long as that mantra stayed with him

For Al.

What if Al pushed him away though? These doubts welled in Ed's mind and he rubbed his temples to try and soothe the pulsing pain in his head.

As much as Edward was loathe to admit, Mustang was right. He needed to trust Al to stick with him throughout this whole ordeal. The semi blonde would need to adjust, and as much as Ed hated the idea, he would need some help to get through this without losing it.

Ed barely paid any attention as Mustang answered the door and began to explain that Ed needed to speak to them all. The chimera teen was just staring blankly at the open book in his lap. Give Edward a serial killer, he could handle that. Give Edward a war, he could take down the enemy. Bring in an explanation for awkward situations and he was outta there. This was going to suck.

"Just, please, don't freak out anyone, okay?" Was the last thing Ed heard Mustang say before people began clamoring into the house. And every last one of them froze in the living room doorway, eyes riveted on Edward. Ed felt an irrational anger bubbling in his stomach. Was all they could do was stand there and stare? Ed took a deep calming breath as he shut the alchemy book and closed his eyes.

He could hear how they held their breath and their heartbeats skipped erratically. They were all so quiet as they stared. So this is what it felt like to be a flea bitten zoo animal with people pressing their faces in on you to see if you'd do any cool tricks. This was what it was like to be a lab specimen being carted around the office to be shown off. It was sickening.

When no one spoke, for a while, Ed's hands tightened into fists and muscles coiled together. "Stop staring at me like that," he breathed quietly, but it was loud and clear in the silence. Edward's head hung forward with dual tone tresses pooling and hiding his face.

Finally, someone dared to step forward. It was a soft tentative step that was placed with an unbidden fighter's grace. Alphonse. Fitting that it should be his brother that worked up enough courage to approach first. Ed's heart began to beat faster in the darkness of anxiety and he squeezed his eyes tighter shut.

Closer and closer his brother came until he was right beside him.

Ed could smell the rather intoxicating scent of vanilla products Alphonse was fond of and the fresh scent of outdoors lingering on him. Ed's tail twitched slightly.

Finally, Alphonse reached out and took hold of Ed's ear, startling the elder slightly. Gold orbs cracked open and he looked up to meet curious gray eyes.

Ed could sense the emotions filling his younger brother. He was hurt because of Ed's silence and guilty that it happened to protect him. But there was an open curiosity about what had changed and an undertone of suppressed glee.

"Brother?" The quiet whisper made Ed swallow nervously as Al continued to rub his thick furred ear between flesh fingers. It was actually…soothing to his nerves. Ed could feel himself relaxing at the gentle sensation.

"Look at it this way Al. At least now you can stop bugging me about getting a cat," Ed managed, wanting some sort of response that would tell him exactly what Alphonse was thinking. He had to trust Al.

Alphonse was quiet for a moment and his hand continued scratching. Rather unconsciously, Ed found himself leaning into Al's touch and the slightest of purrs escaped his throat.

And all too suddenly Al was squealing happily as he clung to Ed's neck, nearly shattering Ed's eardrums and choking the chimera.

"You're half cat! You purred! You're like the big kitty I always wanted now!" Al could help the bubbly exclamation as he clung to Ed, who was currently being squashed against the couch by his younger brother sitting on his lap and cutting off his wind pipes with a tight hug.

"C-can't…breathe…" Ed rasped, eye twitching slightly. Instantly, Alphonse released him and scooted onto his usual side of the couch but was still hovering very closely to Edward, a silly grin on his face for a few seconds before it dropped.

"Ed…you're a chimera now. They did this at the lab didn't they? Because they had me to negotiate with, you let them," Alphonse whispered, his face growing unusually blank, but Ed could see from the bright gray depths of his eyes that Alphonse Elric's usually docile temper was rearing its very ugly head.

"It's fine Al, really. I know what I did, and I don't regret it. I don't think a single thing on this Earth could make me regret protecting you from that. So don't feel guilty, and don't get angry and go wail on the guards. At least not without me," Ed offered with his trademark toothy grin that was all the scarier now for the outstanding gold eyes and bright white fangs.

"Oh, what!" The loud exclamation from the door caught the entire house's attention. In the doorway with multiple bags of takeout was Havoc who was staring in disbelief at Ed and Al. "You'll let him sit on the couch without so much of a fuss, but when I attempt to take a seat when you're not even on it you practically threaten to gut me?"

"I like Alphonse better than you," Ed quipped with a smirk that quickly fell when the smells of delicious Xingese noodles, vegetables, fried meats and sushi assaulted him. "Havoc, since I look like a total freak trying to move around with my current automail, mind bringing that food over here? And, no smoking in this house."

Quickly, Havoc put the cigarette out and trashed it before scurrying over with the food, dropping the bags unceremoniously on the dining table. Everyone began to quietly filter in, all of them still watching Edward, discerning the defining features that made him the half breed he now was.

Ed was just about to ravage the food when he saw the completely dumbstruck look on Winry's face, the wrench slack in her weakened grasp.

"I guess you'd all like an explanation then?" Ed said quietly, averting his eyes to his left clawed hand, restraining himself from jumping at the food.

True, the moment Alphonse had jumped on him, crushing his windpipes, he'd felt the suppressed tension and doubts bleed out of him. If Alphonse was fine with this, he knew he could be too. Even if the others rejected him because of what he was, even if it hurt, it was fine because in that neck snapping glomp, he knew his little brother still loved him and couldn't give a flying fuck if he was half cat, even if he was probably delighted about the 'cat' part.

Because they were brothers. They were all they had left. Alphonse was Edward's whole world, and if Al could still accept him as is, then all would be okay.

Still, that scared light in Winry's eyes and the pity clouding on Mustang and Havoc's faces, Havoc being the main contributor, was making Ed uncomfortable and irrational again.

An awkward silence reigned over the room, with most people staring at Ed and the chimera teen repressing an outburst. Perhaps it was for the best that his little brother noticed how tense he was and broke the silence.

"I'm sorry Ed," Al whispered, clenching his hands guiltily, staring at his lap. The younger teen could help but blame himself a little that this happened. If he hadn't gotten captured, then Ed wouldn't have let himself be taken prisoner and used for Sein's experiments.

"Don't Al," Ed responded, feeling himself calm slightly when he looked to his sibling. "Even if the transmutation was a bitch to go through, it's nothing compared to wh-to everything else." Ed paused for a moment, almost saying 'what I put you through,' but that would have led into a whole 'nother discussion which wasn't needed right now. "Anyways, I not sorry about it, and truthfully, I'm okay with this. Like this. I don't know why, but I feel more alive now than I have in years. I'm comfortable this way Al, so its fine."

Al looked up slowly in surprise, visibly shocked to hear that. "Wha-?"

"I know it's completely insane, but I feel more comfortable in my body as a freak of nature chimera than I ever have before. Besides, no one ever accused me of being sane," Ed continued with a smirk. Gold and gray eyes remained locked for a long while, reading into each other, searching for assurance. Slowly, a smile spread of Al's face.

"Alright brother. As long as you're fine with it, so am I. But, uh…"Alphonse hesitated, his hand twitching a little as he seemed to consider his question carefully. Turning away for a moment, Al readjusted his face before looking back to his elder brother. Gold orbs widened when they saw Al's adorably innocent pleading face, complete with pout and wide eyes. Edward completely froze and his heart melted. Whatever request Alphonse was about to make had a 150% chance of being granted. Ed could never say no to Al's pouting face anyway. "Can I sometimes treat you like a kitty? Like scratching your ears and stuff?"

Ed's eye twitched, and if had been anyone but Alphonse asking, they'd have been punched in the face. But this was Alphonse, who had an unavoidable affinity for anything cute and fluffy and couldn't resist a cat if his life depended on it.

Uncomfortably, Ed pulled his legs up onto the couch into a still awkward Indian style position, awkward because of disproportional limbs, grumbling his consent.

Grinning like a maniac, Al instantly invaded Ed's personal space and began scratching Ed's fuzzy lion ear.

"As amusing as this is," Mustang interjected, snickering at the scene before him, "you owe these folks an explanation, Fullmetal."

Edward hardly caught the words though, because Al's hand had wandered to his neck and was petting him like a cat and a deep purr was filling his ears and he felt his limbs going lax. His hyped up senses had certainly made the sensation of being doted on like a house pet effect him like it would a lazy lapcat. Ed could finally appreciate why pets loved being pet so much and why they were always bother their owners to be pet. It felt good. Especially when you had as many muscle knots and aching injuries as Ed. Half lidded eyes flitted to Mustang when he spoke and it took a few moments to register what he had said and that the rumbling purr was coming from himself.

Grimacing both in embarrassment and regret, Ed waved Al's hand ways, mumbling something about he was interrupting his focus and he was _not_ blushing at all. Not the least bit. Clearing his throat, Ed cast his gaze about. It would seem that the little scene with Alphonse had broken the ice, but he could smell their emotions, read them even.

Spending years with his little brother in a suit of armor, the semi blonde had learned how to read emotions like no other. With no expression, no eyes, no face to reference, Ed had learned to feel the aura of a soul and its feelings. Right now he could taste the apprehension of those gathered, the horrified shock, the scared eyes. But at the little display with Al, they'd relaxed ever so slightly.

Really, Ed didn't know how to explain quite yet.

"How about we eat first, then discuss this? The foods getting cold anyways," Ed finally sighed. Onyx eyes narrowed in his direction, but before the Bastard General could demand him to explain now, Ed plowed on. "I swear as soon as I'm not starving out of my mind, I'll explain to you guys. Just… I don't want you all to treat me any different just because I'm not completely…human. I'm still the same Edward Elric."

With that, Ed set his mind on food, and began tearing into the extensive order on the coffee table before him.

* * *

Empty food cartons littered the coffee table and a contemplative silence hung over the room. Ed's face was shielded by two toned tresses and his gold eyes focused on his flesh hand. He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to be thinking of the repercussions, he didn't want to feel this anxiety, he didn't want their pity, spite, fear, shock-

Biting his tongue, Ed took a deep breath, trying to calm the mayhem in his head. The semi blonde's mind was a jumble, trying to adjust to the hypersensitivity that let his taste the emotions of everyone in the room with him. Ed's stomach was in knots and his throat had dried up just as he finished his recounting of the past week or so.

The people in this room had known him for years. Years. Still, they were hesitant to stay here, antsy in the presence of the now chimera.

Once more, that irrational fury that brewed in Edward boiled up. He had never been this reactive to the emotions of others around. Sure, the teen could read the emotions of those around him, but never had they gotten this much of a reaction.

Even now, in the midst of a mental fit, he paused to marvel at the receptiveness of his changed body that was letting him _feel_ what the people around him were feeling.

What if he just wanted control back though?

Thus was the root of Ed's anger. Control. In his life, he had never had control of going ons. So while he never was able to get a handle on outside happenings, he'd always been the master of his own mind and body. Now that little shred of control Ed reigned over himself was being bludgeoned with sticks by an overly receptive body. And he was angry that that control hadn't worked its way to master these new senses yet. But where was the fairness in that? It had only been a day. _A day_. Why would he expect to have a hang of this whole chimera thing when he was already adjust far better than many other people could dream of?

'Cause he was Edward Elric. And this was a new challenge.

It had been a while since he'd been thrown a new problem like this, and it wrought anger from him because all his mind could scream was that if he was so weak he couldn't reign in his own mind, how could he hope to protect those he loved?

Circles, circles, endless circles. This thought process was getting him nowhere!

Apparently Alphonse sensed the growing frustration in his brother and leaned over to wrap his arms around his elder brother.

Edward's head jerked a little in surprise at the sudden contact, but didn't move to pull away. There was comfort in the presence of his ever accepting little brother. That, and the calming affect Alphonse always had on Ed helped.

"So-" Ed began before stopping and clearing his throat. It was still disconcerting to hear his changed voice. "I need automail replacement surgery. I don't mind if I have to deal with being crippled for a while waiting for you to get the supplies Winry, I just need these things removed pronto. You of all people know that having automail constriction is dangerous and painful."

The military folk all seemed to still be taking it in, and this shook Winry from her trance. Apparently the normalcy of his blunt request reassured her enough to do the following.

"Of course I know that!" The blonde mechanic shouted indignantly, smacking Ed with a wrench. He still didn't know why he never deflected those things…he could. He was beyond capable of doing so but he just never responded. He blamed brain damage from a young age due to head injuries from automail junkies.

"FUCK!" The curse came on automatic as Ed instantly gripped his head, angry words spilling from his mouth.

"Don't complain Ed! You should have just said you'd need replacements in the first place! I'm totally unprepared for this kind of thing! This equipment is expensive, needs sanitary conditions, precision, time to work, **_preparations_**!"

"Shit! It's not like fuckin' **knew** I'd need replacement _ports_!"

"Yeah, maybe if you'd told the truth in the first place-"

"I hadn't had some fucked up sporadic growth spurt before Alphonse called you so it wouldn't have made one damn bit of difference, you automail freak!"

"What was that, small fry!"

"**WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT NOT EVEN BACTERIA CAN SEE HIM! I'm taller than you, so shut up!**"

The argument devolved into the traditional screaming match between the wrath of Edward Elric and Winry Rockbell.

"I though only siblings could argue like that," Mustang muttered, glancing over to his men. For now, they had calmed, comforted by the normalcy of Ed's outburst and the renowned fits these two got into. Still, he could see the weird looks they got when their eyes lingered on Ed's ears or tail too long. They were trying though. If they hadn't been, they'd have probably all freaked by now. Ed was a part of the team, however poorly they relayed this to the semi blonde.

The onyx eyed General paused a moment, realizing for the first time that Ed had never been to any of the team get togethers. The dinners, the bar outings, the occasional parties, anything. They knew the boy might as well be socially retarded in the fact he avoided interaction of the kind like the plague, yet they'd never tried to help.

They were all a part of the team. A team that had supported each other, helped each other, built lasting connections with each other, yet they'd always ostracized and ignored their youngest member in a way that stung Roy bitterly to his very core.

* * *

**Review, please! I really want to hear any thoughts on the progress with this fiction so far. Again, I'd like to give a thank you to everyone who took the time to read this story and thank the people who have reviewed for the previouschapters so far.**

**Once again, sorry for the lack of updates on my other two stories, but I don't want to force the writing and end up making a shitty chapter that disappoints everyone and ruin the stories.**

**Anywho, the end half of this chapter was a little forced, which I'm a little uneasy about, but I hope it's not too screwed up.**

**Also, I have to say, my favorite part is where Al went all 'innocent loveable little brother' on Ed so he could pet him. I really think he'd do this. It's just too easy to imagine! XD**

**Reviews are luff, as always.**

**If you fell like letting me know, I'd like to know how I'm doing with character portrayal? I'm the type of person who hates to take them OOC and screw with them, so…yeah. Opinions please? ^^;**

**Thanks again for any and all support~**

**Love you guys!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Holy carp, I took way too long D:**

**Unfortunately, I have to say that regular every two week updates can no longer be promised, with school work being thrown at me left and right, though I'll do my best to update this story as often as possible.**

**Guess this chapter was more like filler than anything else, though it does transition well to the ever impending automail surgery.**

**So, as said, my muse for my other stories is still rotting in a corner which disappoints me severely, but there's not much I can do about it. Also, ideas for this story or input is always, always appreciated, so feel free.**

**If you haven't guess by now, yes, this is Elricest. I hope this does not dissuade anyone from reading this story. Any chapters that may have heavy elricest will be given an extra warning so you can skip over if you want. **

**Also, I'd like to give a big thanks to all the support I've gotten so far on this story! Really, it means a lot to me that people are really enjoying this. But it's nice to give back to the fanfiction center that I've fed off of for so long~**

**Warnings: Unbeta'd, Manga-verse/Post Promised Day, AU, Mature themes, cussing, future slash and/or yaoi**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.**

**Enjoy~ ;D**

* * *

The next day Ed was feeling even worse. His port connections felt as if they were about to bust and start bleeding while his collarbone and shoulder blade felt like they'd snap apart from the constricting pressure of cold metal graphed to his skin.

Edward hadn't managed to sleep much at all the last night. He couldn't. It was just like he was eleven again, unable to sleep, unable to keep anything down, feverish and restless. Even if he didn't feel all of that now, he knew it was coming again. He could still remember the echoing screams of pain he'd heard emit from the Rockbell family home as a small child. He'd seen people leave that home in pure agony, and once saw the corpse of a man who couldn't survive the fever being carted out. Automail surgery was no laughing matter, end of story.

Apparently, Alphonse hadn't been able to sleep much either, too worried about Ed and the upcoming affair. Really, how was he supposed to anyways? It had been a traumatizing experience for both of them with many unpleasant memories attached.

It was early morning, not even the crack of dawn, when he heard movement in the halls. Edward was sprawled on his bed in the same attire as the previous day, glaring balefully at the ceiling. Circles had begun to form under his eyes and there was a resigned look to him. At the shuffling outside his door and the quiet knock, the young alchemist could already tell who it was.

"I'm not asleep Al, you can c'mon in," Ed called, letting his eyes trail over to look at his little brother as the caramel brunette peaked in. The younger Elric looked almost as bad as Ed, with dark rings under dulled gray eyes and a frazzled bed head to him. His stance was weak and Edward could immediately see Al had as much luck sleeping as he had.

There was a brief moment that both brothers spent scrutinizing the other before Ed spoke up.

"You look like shit."

Not exactly true. Ed thought Al looked rather endearing with his confection colored tresses sprawled over his loose nightshirt but the darkness under his eyes ruined it.

Alphonse snorted, lifting an eyebrow as he gave his elder brother one more look over. "Like your any better?"

"Never said that, now did I?" Ed quipped, feeling a smirk tugging at his lips. Oh, he knew he didn't look well at all. He probably looked grossly disfigured with the lion ears perched on the side of his head, the tail flopping over the edge of the bed, and mismatched mis-sized limbs. Not to mention he could feel the slight sweat on his skin and Ed could tell he was pale as hell. Sparks of pain rippled through his entire nervous system periodically, making his wince ever so slightly.

Alphonse gave a small exasperated smile, something he tended to do a lot nowadays and made his way over to sit on the side of the chimera's bed. "So…how bad is it?"

Gold eyes met gray and Ed could see the worry creasing Al's brow. He didn't want to worry Alphosne over it, but Ed knew better than to sugarcoat it.

"Horrible," Ed grunted, averting his gaze back to the ceiling where he'd been connecting the dots of small spikes of paint. "It feels like my shoulder and leg are about to collapse in on themselves." Al frowned sympathetically and gave Ed's left hand a quick squeeze which he responded to accordingly.

A comfortable silence settled over the two as each though on the day's upcoming events. There was going to be a pretty full schedule, mostly to prep Edward for a painful and long operation. Another spasm hit the half blonde and he let out a strained breath. The pain for the most part had dulled. As long as he held still, it wasn't too bad, but his ribs strained with every breath as they pushed against the metal port.

"I thought you might like some help to the shower or downstairs before I got into making breakfast," Alphonse started after a while, looking curiously down at Ed. After a moment's hesitation, the semi blonde sighed slightly and moved to sit up, his breath hissing out painfully as he winced against the complaints of his shoulder.

"Yeah, a shower'd be nice." The younger Elric hopped up and began helping Ed to stand up without falling back to a hobble with an undersized leg. The two headed down the hallway to the bathroom, not before the younger grabbed a change of clothes for Edward, and Alphonse pushed open the door with his free arm. Once at the edge of the bathtub, Al helped Ed to sit on it. Straightening back up, Alphosne watched as Ed heaved out a heavy breath.

"Thanks Al," Ed murmured, eyes half lidded and a grimace marring his face. Beside the bursts of pain, the constriction, and skin irritation, phantom itches had started up again.

After a few moments, the chimera teen saw his younger brother begin to shuffle his feet awkwardly and bite at his lower lip. An eyebrow quirked in question as gold eyes attempted to focus on Al's own grey eyes.

"Ermm…uh, well, brother," Al stumbled along awkwardly, his cheeks tingeing the slightest pink. "Do you need any other help?" At this point, Al glanced pointedly at Ed's clothing.

After a few moments, Ed gave a small smile. "Nah, I'll be fine Alphonse. I can still do some things. Gimme some credit."

Normally Ed would refuse any offer for help, but there were two factors at play here. One, this was Alphonse, and if he should refuse's Al's help when the other knew he needed, it's be forced upon him. Two was that Al wasn't doing this out of pity, but of genuine worry and trying to be helpful. It's what he does. Still, having Alphonse help him strip would be…weird. Yeah, weird. That's it.

"Alright. Yell if you need anything, brother. I'll be downstairs." So, ignoring the hot squirming feeling deep in his gut that had appeared at the notion of Al helping him dress down, Alphosne scuttled out of the bathroom, face a shade redder than it normally is. Ed paused to contemplate this for a moment before brushing it off as Alphonse's bashful nature. After all, Ed was the one who had practically every shred of modesty eradicated from his being with all the clothing destruction that happened in his life.

Careful not the moves his right shoulder, Ed used his left hand to peel his tank top off, hissing slightly as the fabric pulled against his port on the way off, the same with his pajama bottoms and boxers as they were respectively removed with a little more hassle than the shirt.

After he was successfully undressed, Edward turned on the hot water and moved himself under the spray. After an initial rinse off, Ed plugged the tub and switched the water to tap so it would run off a soothing bath for him. Settling himself into the rising water, he yanked the curtains shut.

The chimera let out a sigh of relief as he felt the warm water wash over his aching puffy irritated ports, warming the metal up to flesh acceptable temperatures. Still sore muscles from the stressful forced growing loosened easily in the warm water and Edward relaxed. Just as a few days before, methodically he relaxed, leaving his body completely limp, head lolling slightly to the side.

With sluggish careful movements, Edward lathered his hair with shampoo and conditioner and proceeded to clean every inch of his body. He wasn't sure how long he'd been in the tub, but hopefully not too long. Rinsing off and draining the tub, Ed dried and dressed with understandable difficulties from the sensitive ports.

Finally Ed emerged from the bathroom, he was dressed in a loose black t-shirt and set of loose comfortable dark dark red pajama pants which he transmuted a hole into. Multi-tone tresses dampened his clothes and stuck to his face, but whatever. Ed managed to make his way awkwardly and somewhat painfully to the stairs where he stopped. And stared.

There was no fuckin' way he could get down these things without causing himself detrimental harm. He was broken from his glaring contest with the stairs when he became aware of movement in the guest room. Looks like Winry's getting up.

Grimacing slightly, Ed decided he had no other logical choice.

"Hey, Alphonse!" Ed called down the stairwell, ignoring the voice in his head that was screaming incredulously at the fact he had to have help down stairs. Stairs. Sure, he was a cripple, and typically cripples had such problems, but he had automail for fuck's sake and couldn't even use the damned things now! While Ed could ignore the voice, it _did_ bring down his mood quite a bit.

Bested by stairs. Best alchemist in the military indeed.

It was only a few moments later Alphonse appeared at the base of the steps, peering earnestly up at Ed. He looked better than he had, now dressed in a light gray tank top and those tight fitting jeans Al had become oh so fond of with his hair pulled back in a low ponytail. Unsure why his crazed senses chose to lock onto how snug Al's jeans were, Ed brushed it off as fascination with the fact he could see the threads and weave pattern from up there.

Pausing awkwardly, Ed opened and closed his mouth a few times before settling on looking severely uncomfortable, acutely aware of the natural reaction he began to have. Lion ears folded against his head and his tail twitched irritably as Ed clenched his flesh fist, careful to make sure he didn't hurt himself.

It took only a moment for Al to realize what his brother wanted and snorted in amusement. A slight scowl formed on the elder's face at Al's reaction, but still readily used Al for a support beam the moment he hit the top of the stairs. Just as Winry was exiting her room, bleary eyes and sleep ruffled, Ed and Al began working down the stairs, Ed hissing softly whenever his ports were jostled or banged.

* * *

In maybe an hour's time, Ed had eaten, emptied one and a half coffee pots, and situated himself on his usual couch, gently massaging his port sites. Al had showered and was just now coming back down the stairs, wreathed in vanilla and slight spicy smell that reminded Edward quite a bit of what he usually used- wait a minute.

"Al!" Ed suddenly yelled, making the boy jump and yelp, not even aware where his brother was right now. And he frowned worriedly at his brother's tone. Had he done something wrong?

"Where are you br-"

"You used my conditioner! What the hell!"

"…how can you even tell?" Al asked incredulously, not even bothering to deny the accusation, poking his head into the living room to give Ed a wide eyed look.

"I can smell it, Al," Edward retorted as if it were the most obvious thing in the world even though he knew full well he shouldn't have been able to. At least not from this distance.

"Really?" Alphonse asked in a curious tone, forgetting to reprimand his brother for being rude. It was intriguing, these changes that Ed was accepting so easily. But something in Al was having a fit. Al felt he knew everything about his big brother, but now…not quite. Frankly is disturbed him.

"Yeah. I can smell the leftover Xingese from last night and the pizza from a few nights ago is finally fading. I can smell the overdose of cologne Havoc always wears still lingering in here, and I could smell the grease and metal and dog and smoke from Winry yesterday too. Guess she was stopping by Resembool before coming here," Ed commented idly, pondering when Winry would be moving back to the quaint country home with her Grandmother instead of Rush Valley. He knew that she wanted to be back there with Granny Pinako.

"That's...amazing brother. You did say that the…transmutation," Al paused, sounding perturbed, still highly displeased with the turn of events that left his brother as such. "You said that it super charged your senses in a way, right?"

"Yep," Ed said with a wry grin. "I can see the etches in the wood of the ceiling fan, the small chink in the corner of the window pane over there, and even the faint stains left on the couch from you spilling orange juice on it a few months back." The last part caused Al to blush embarrassedly.

"I can hear Winry moving around in her room right now, the buzzing of the kitchen appliances, some of the water draining in the pipes. The pizza and Xingese tasted better than ever, and I could even pick out the spices they used in it. Everything is just so much more…vivid. Unfortunately, so is this damn aching," Ed grumbled, sending a small glare to his ported shoulder.

"Well, General Mustang and everyone should be here soon with supplies that Winry asked them to get. Then we can see about getting this started," Alphonse trailed off, eyeing his elder worriedly, looking as if he wanted to say something, but remained silent. Ed, noticing this however let it slide this once. Al would talk to him if he wanted too.

"This is going to be a **long **day," Edward sighed.

All he could do was stare.

Alphonse's grey eyes widened in shock as his gaze remained locked on that one scar. That one huge disturbingly familiar yet foreign scar.

It was an angry flesh color, red mixed with the usual tan of the skin. The whole wound looked like it'd been forced together too quickly, unable to heal properly. It was as if layers of skin were stolen and used to seal up the wound than naturally scarring. It was stretched and strained looking as the skin was molded around the muscles beneath.

Not just that, but the shape and the way the colors played out made Al think of the denizens of the Gate and the menacing ginormous eyeball that stared you down as it dragged you inside, all the while invading and taking with child like clawed hands on ever reaching black arms that waved and turned and twisted all around and ensnared mind, body, and soul.

It was a mark, whether of ownership, victory, or connection, it was a mark that would never leave and never be forgotten.

It was a mark that was stretched upwards across Edward Elric's abdomen, the center of which was slightly above his belly button as it vertically played out across his skin in a sick parody of the real thing.

"Brother…"Al strained, still unable to look away from the marred flesh, too horrified that Ed had been marked in such a way.

"Edward," Winry breathed out after a time, unable to look away, just like Alphonse and just like the team of military personnel in the room with them. "What happened? Where did this come from?"

None of them could think beyond the fact that this wound, this gaping scar that covered the damaged innards, it was something that should have been fatal. Whatever caused this had nearly taken away the feisty elder Elric without a single one of them any the wiser.

The silence stretched as Ed focused his gaze on the floor, wincing every so often as the spasmodic pain from his far too tight automail ports.

"It was after we separated outside Fort Briggs," the chimera teen finally answered, voice quiet and emotionless, as if it were under very careful control. "I went after Kimbley while you and Alphonse got out with Mei and Scar. It was because of my own foolishness. I didn't kill Kimbley while I had the chance, and I paid for it when he brought the whole tower we were fighting in down on top of me."

Winry let out a whimper at that, but Al managed to restrain any reaction by biting fiercely down upon his lip.

"I should have died."

Al tasted blood.

Not a single eye strayed from Ed as each person took it in, disturbed and befuddled by this statement. He should have died, yet here brother was, alive and breathing. Still, those words struck Al wrong. Ed should have died. According to Ed himself at least, but the very thought itself, that Brother would have the damned nerve to die, was completely stupid. But there Edward was, telling him that he should have been alone right now, without the comfort and protection of an older sibling. Without that undiluted dedication Ed showed him. Al should have been alone right now and that fact paralyzed him with fear.

But why would Ed say that? He had a building collapsed on him, yes, but what exact part of that caused this wound?

"I should have bled out on the ice cold ground that day," Edward continued quietly, as if caught in the memories, unaware how hard he was striking his audience. Unaware that every word felt like a fist driving into his beloved little brother's gut. "Before I go on, it has to be understood that I _would_ have and _should_ have."

Pausing, Ed looked up, sweeping hard gold orbs across the faces in the room, each with a varying expression of horror and shock. Al felt his hands tremble slightly as some dark feeling coiled in his gut. A foreboding that told him he didn't want to know what Edward did.

"Using alchemy, I saved Darius and Heinkel. Then, I ordered then to pull the metal beam that speared me out of my stomach while I alchemically sealed the wound."

This earned a muffled noise somewhere between a wrangled squeak and a shriek of horror from the younger Elric while Mustang's only reaction was a widening of onyx eyes. They though were the only two that understood the true levity of what Edward had done. The others were just shocked, scared, and befuddled.

"But…doesn't that count as Human Transmutation?" Winry asked in a small terrified voice, her sole focus on Edward. Alphonse saw the way her hand twitched slightly as if she wanted to reach out and touch Ed so she could make sure he was there, or to hit him for doing something so recklessly stupid.

"Not exactly. If anything, it was a crude mix of Human Transmutaion and a limited knowledge of medicinal alchemy. True medical alchemy uses the other elements from within the body. At least traditional medicinal alchemy does. I have a theory of how to improve it, but the thing is, I didn't have enough energy to channel the transmutation just using my own internal sources or even use the nutrients in my body. Like I said, it was a crude mix of Human and medicinal alchemy. So I had to pay up something for energy, seeing as how my own wouldn't do. For energy, to perform the transmutation, I had…I had to use…." Ed paused, seeming unable to properly spit out the words. After a few tense seconds of silence, he bit his lip, screwed his eyes shut, and reached a flesh hand to splay across the cruel visage on his torso. "I used a part of my own soul."

Instantaneously there was uproar in the room as exclamations erupted left and right at the announcement.

"Shut the hell up!" Ed suddenly yelled, cutting across everyone in a stressed voice. "Don't any one of you fucking **dare** to criticize me for it. This is what I was trying to tell you. It was my only choice. **The** only choice. I couldn't die yet; I still had things to do, so I found a solution, even if it was at a high price. So far as I know, I haven't experienced any side effects from it, I dunno what exactly it may cause me in the future, but it was my only choice _dammit_! It was either that or die and if anyone here thinks I would have let that happen while Al was still a damned hunk of moving metal, _I'll rip your tongue out_!"

There was a ringing silence as everyone settled back down, but it was still disturbing. Extremely so.

"And you saw fit not to tell anyone of this Edward?" Mustang asked in a low tone, covering his concern for his subordinate with cold fury. Al could see it though. That hint of panic in his eyes that had appeared the moment the conversation began.

"It never came up and I was just so busy with Al being back in his body and adjusting to a more regular life that it just slipped my mind, alright?" Edward mumbled, though it was obviously a half truth. He just didn't want anyone to worry. Anyone that knew the elder Elric could tell that.

After a prolonged silence as everyone attempted to process the information dump Ed had given them, Al noticed Ed's gold eyes suddenly widen as if he'd just remembered something important. Glad to be broken from his stupor, Al followed up. "Brother? Is there something else?"

Eyes immediately snapped to the chimera teen and he made an awkward face. "Well, uh, nothing to do with the scar, but ah…well, since we're talking about things like scars and such, maybe now would be the right time to mention since you'll all find out anyways…I have a tattoo."

"_**What!**_" The word was screeched in a variety of emotions across the room and Ed winced slightly, looking as if he wished he could shield his ears from their harsh voices. Alphonse felt a pang of guilt when he saw this, realizing all this yelling and stress was especially hard on his brother, no matter how well he strove to hide it.

Scratching the back of his neck, Ed gave a nervous smile and continued, ignoring everyone and their demands for explanations. "Well, tattoos actually to be more accurate, since it's not just one, though more so a combined one or a set really-"

"EDWARD ELRIC!" Winry was screeching like a banshee, causing Ed's ears to fold earnestly against his skull and Al had the urge to tell her to shut up. Surprised by the rudeness of the inclination, Al blamed it on worrying over Ed's poor eardrums and spending a bit too much time around the elder. Then it suddenly hit Alphonse and all this flew out the window.

"WAIT, IF YOU HAVE TATTOOS HOW COME I CAN GET ONE!" The caramel brunette burst, feeling indignant at how many times Edward had tried to ward off the idea from Alphonse's mind.

"YOU WANTED TO WHAT!" Winry's wrath transferred to Al in seconds as she loomed over him dangerously, her dislike of the idea apparent and Al felt himself shrinking back by instinct.

"So what are the tattoos of, Chief? Some secret girlfriend you have told us about? Where is it anyways?"

"Really Fullmetal? Why the hell would you even do that?"

Edward finally sighed in reluctance, ears still pressed tightly to his head and he awkwardly shifted so his back was presented to the room and he moved duel toned tresses over his shoulder.

Attention once more quickly shifted to Ed, and Al thought amusedly that that had been happening a lot lately.

Covering his brother's back was the carefully carved image of the Flamel's cross topped with **that** transmutation circle with three separate sets of scripture. Alphonse found himself staring, feeling a certain sadness that Ed felt the need the mark himself further, to pinpoint himself as a trespasser on God's territory. Then again, hadn't Alphonse himself wished to mark himself in the same way? Not as much, but still. Really though, like his brother's automail was a mark, so was the inlaid seal on the back of Alphonse's neck. Why were they pushing it further?

Slightly despaired was the younger Elric when he found himself sidetracked with tracing the lean muscles of Edward's back without a slightest clue as to why he was doing so.

"Admittedly, it fits you well Fullmetal," Roy finally spoke, breaking the contemplative air, though he quickly continued before Ed could spit fire at him for the implications. "Not that I mean the indications it gives, but the meanings behind each individual item you chose. You'd been thinking on this for a while, hadn't you?"

"Yeah," the chimera teen finally grumbled, looking for the world like he wished he could hunch his shoulders and turn away to ignore them all, but the metal welded and bolted to his skin wasn't about to have any. "We've gotten off topic a bit, haven't we?"

Al did find himself agreeing with Mustang. The sentiments carved onto Edward's flesh fit well. While Ed gave the impression of being brash and crude, which was entirely true, this showed he also had a certain understanding of the world that few could ever achieve. It proved Edward wasn't just some rude brat like many a person, like Mei, brushed him off as. Ed had a certain deepness to him that very few people truly understood, and since the young alchemist was rather adverse to showing it, many were never given the chance. Still, this tattoo right here was like a reminder, an archive, a history that both of them shared, and it told their story. The Flamel, the ancient alchemic symbol that was theirs by right, passed on by Teacher. The transmutation circle, the reminder of that which could never be. The legend that told of their mistake. The sentiment that Teacher gave them that gave the story of the world. The law, representing the naivety to solely believe in it but also the reverent respect both Edward and Alphonse held that law in. Still, it governed them, even after being shown that not everything is equivalent.

Alphonse strongly believed that if Ed could have been a world philosopher if he wished so, though the notion was laughable.

On the same note, Ed was right in that they were way of topic. So, ripping his eyes away from the defined muscles of his brother, Al spoke. "So, are you ready brother?"

With a tense sigh, he was given an affirmative. So without anymore scolding, screaming, yelling, protests, or surprises, Winry snapped into action. It wasn't long at all before Al was left in the living room with Mustang and the team as Winry with the assistance of Riza, prepped for automail port detachment surgery.

* * *

**Review, please! I really want to hear any thoughts on the progress with this fiction so far. Again, I'd like to give a thank you to everyone who took the time to read this story and thank the people who have reviewed for the previous chapters so far.**

**Once again, sorry for the lack of updates on my other two stories, but I don't want to force the writing and end up making a shitty chapter that disappoints everyone and ruin the stories. Though, given the amount of feedback those authors notes got me on them, I feel guilty about leaving you other guys empty handed, so I'll make a point to drop kick my muse as often as I can until I can get them back in gear.**

**Reviews are luff, as always.**

**Thanks again for any and all support~**

**Love you guys!**


	7. Chapter 7

***headdeskx10* Way way too long! Urgh! **

**This part wasn't really planned, so it made it difficult to get written and I've had essay after essay after project recently, so that makes it even more difficult.**

**So, as said, my muse for my other stories is still rotting in a corner which disappoints me severely, but there's not much I can do about it. Also, ideas for this story or input is always, always appreciated, so feel free.**

**If you haven't guess by now, yes, this is Elricest. I hope this does not dissuade anyone from reading this story. Any chapters that may have heavy elricest will be given an extra warning so you can skip over if you want. **

**Also, I'd like to give a big thanks to all the support I've gotten so far on this story! Really, it means a lot to me that people are really enjoying this. But it's nice to give back to the fanfiction center that I've fed off of for so long~**

**Warnings: Unbeta'd, Manga-verse/Post Promised Day, AU, Mature themes, cussing, future slash and/or yaoi**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.**

**Enjoy~ ;D**

**

* * *

**

Alphonse wasn't sure which he would have preferred. To have everyone back in the living room yelling at each other again or the uncomfortable stale silence that hung over them all.

Really, Alphonse wasn't too surprised. It is said that automail surgery is the most painful procedure known to man, but that's only because few ever consider its counterpart. Any good automail mechanic is aware though that removing a port is on a whole new pain level. Regular old automail surgery would have a grown men crying for their mothers in five minutes flat, imagine the torture of having something like that detached. So, for Ed to have waited out his surgery at eleven years old without much more than a grunt or deep steadying breath, having this uninterrupted silence while the most painful humanly possible procedure occurred only a few rooms away wasn't that odd.

Only it was. This knowledge that there should be screams echoing through the house chilled them all because there was nothing but silence.

It was scary to think about. That a mere sixteen, almost seventeen year old, could withstand this agony while not a single other soul in existence could deny having screamed at least once in the initial surgery.

Maybe it wasn't so weird, because it was Edward Elric. The Fullmetal Alchemist. Hero of the People. The best brother Alphonse could ever wish for. Ed had done things that are impossible, what trouble is it to add another feat to the list?

Alphonse would never feel anything but love for his brother. Mild annoyance, embarrassment, exasperation, but it all came with the playing field of being related and as close-knit as he and Ed were. But when he looked into the eyes of his companions sitting round the room, most if not all deep in thought, he thought he could see fear there. Maybe not fear of Edward himself, but of the power he possessed. The undominitable force that Edward exerted in everything he did, only ever letting up if he saw the subject unworthy of his effort. Actually, Alphonse could understand how that could instill fear, even if it was in Edward's military team.

Making a small noise, Alphonse pulled his legs up onto his and his brother's couch, hugging them close, only allowing his eyes to peer over their tops toward the hallway leading to the surgery room.

Winry had finally sobered a bit and admitted that this was far too short notice to be done as well as it could be, but she could make do. Winry always did.

It was just like last time, only worse. Ed was going into surgery, only the pain would be worse. Alphonse was still sitting outside, useless and worried, only now he could feel the physical reaction to his anxiety. Alphonse's stomach twisted in on itself, his face paled and a nervous sweat broke out on his brow. Unaware, his form began trembling. He just couldn't calm down.

Was his brother okay? What if something went wrong? Are they sure the room is sterile enough? Did they forget anything? Did Brother need him? Questions raced across the brunette's mind so quickly he couldn't keep up, so the tension merely built and built.

Alphonse wanted to cry. Edward must be in so much pain, but he made no indications, no complaints. He just took it all in stride. So there Edward was, suffering, and what was Alphonse doing?

Nothing.

It was just like when Al first came back. The first time Edward had left his sight, he'd felt just like this. A building quiet hysteria that blanked every ounce of common sense he possessed in the utter desperate need to make sure Ed never left. That Edward was still there. It's not like he was the only one. Ed had rushed back as soon as he could look just as bad if not worse.

Al wanted to calm down, he really _really_ did, but he just couldn't. A concentrated frown creased his face and he shifted slightly.

There Alphonse sat, his mind razing down his rationality with frantic panic. Even if he knew it was silly, Al wanted nothing more than to go bursting in to make sure Edward was still there.

Alphonse bit his lip. _I really am some piece of work._

The younger Elric didn't know how much time had passed, but he jolted very abruptly at the noise of a door opening down the hallway. The one where Edward was to be exact.

Out of the room stepped Riza Hawkeye in work blouse and pants with an apron draped over her. Spattered everywhere on the apron was blood. Blood _blood __**blood**_. It had always made Alphonse very nervous, the sight or thought of Edward's blood. Maybe that was due to the fact the elder Elric nearly bled to death that night when Ed was eleven. Al couldn't help it when wide blank grey eyes locked onto Hawkeye's gloved hands that were coated in dried and running red. In those stained hands she carried a tub of warm water with something large and metal in it.

Alphonse didn't bother to look at it. He knew it was the port that had been removed from his brother. Instead he carefully drew his eyes up to Riza's face, pale and tight lipped with chocolate eyes blank, as if she was still trying to process what she'd seen.

Automail surgery was not for the faint of heart.

"Is that…" Fuery began before trailing off, staring along with the rest of the team at the offending metal object that had until recently been crushing Edward's ribcage.

"Edward's shoulder port," Hawkeye spoke in a hoarse voice, still looking a little out of it. "Winry said she's going to take a half hour break before we go back and remove the other. He's resting a little right now. Anyone can go in and see him as long as you don't get in Miss Rockbell's way."

Al had already gone before she started speaking.

* * *

Winry had been right. Completely and totally right. Having automail ports installed could be a real bitch, but this was so much worse.

Obviously, there were still no sedatives compatible with the careful requirements of automail surgery. Ed wouldn't have accepted and anyways. He didn't like being doped up on medicine. Not just because they made him loopy, but they loosened his grip on his mind, which required very careful control with the raging drowning stormy waters of the Gate pressed against his conscious all the time.

It was horrible. Absolutely horrible. Still, he'd had worse.

Then again, his worse hadn't involved the sounds.

There were different kinds of pain. Emotional and physical. Physical can then be broken down into millions of sub categories. Some pain was precise, some was a burning, some so cold it seared. This pain, the pain of automail involved aches, icy metal or blistering steel, and raw hurt. That was what it was. A raw flesh wound that pulsated, spasmed, contracted, seized.

Obviously, Edward had coped well. Actually, more than well, impossibly calm more like. Edward held a threshold for pain that could not be matched it would seem.

The noises though. He could feel the bolt as it pressed against the carved out ridges of his collarbone as it was unscrewed from the structure of his body. The slight squeak as it turned against bone and the quiet noise and feel of flesh pulling away from his body was freakier than he'd ever admit. The first breath of air that the skin below the metal contraption had felt in almost six years was like a smack to the face. But when the metal port was removed, Ed had to do everything he could to remain totally still and restrained as he felt his flesh pull away and squelch as its coverage for six years was removed. It was revolting and painful and exhausting and horrifying.

Underneath his shoulder port the far too clean cut of his shoulder bone could be seen under a film of stringy flesh and nerves. It smelled acrid and metallic, a mix of fermented blood and metal. It looked like a mangled wound that had half healed with clear cut dots and holes where bolts and nerve connecters had been. It was sickening to look at. Even Hawkeye who had been on the battle field on various occasions had blanched at the horrific sight.

After the metal weight had been taken, Winry carefully rinsed the area with warm water, trying her best to ignore it when little pieces of flesh fell into the tub of water. The sensation of anything against that skin, of being revealed once more was simply strange. The feeling of water flowing easily over the vulnerable flesh wasn't painful, but weird. As in _weirdest sensation ever_**.**

That was over for now. He'd have his leg port removed later, but for now this was fine. After a quick check over his shoulder, Winry had Riza help prop Edward up and wrap gauze and medical tape across his chest and torso to cover the wound. The itchy cloth stung a bit and caused Ed to make a face, but otherwise, all was well.

Well, maybe psychologically. Physically, his body wasn't coping that well. After having that metal bolted onto him for the past six years, what did he expect when it was abruptly removed?

So, Ed sat there, breathing deep, grateful that his breathing was finally regulated again. Despite the relief, Ed wasn't in wonderful shape. His skin had paled considerably from the healthy tan he usually wore, making mismatched black and gold tresses stand out in even greater contrast. A thin sheet of sweat covered the teenager and his muscles refused to relax, making his leg pain more intense than necessary. Long hair was tied back in a way Ed wished he'd never have to wear it again, as in a weird bun that he hated nearly as much as milk. Edward Elric did not approve of this hairstyle. Maybe on Riza it looked good, but it just made him look plain out ridiculous. And if he even heard the insinuation of Edward Elric being 'girly' they would face his wrath. Besides that, his tail had been strapped to his right leg as much as it could be and his right leg had been strapped to the table to hold him still. For now his left arm had been relinquished from its leather bounds, but soon enough he'd be forced back down for the second surgery.

The chimera teen breathed deep, relishing the mobility of his ribcage. Deep steadying breaths. Gold eyes send a cursory glance around, noting that Hawkeye just left with the tub of water that his old port sat in with some unmentionables that had peeled away from him during removal. Winry was quietly gathering equipment to clean and slipped out the door with hardly a glance at Ed.

It hurt her to see him like this. To know she was the one causing so much pain to someone she considered her own brother. But it was Winry's promise to give him an arm to use and a leg to stand up on. It was a promise the girl was going to keep.

Funny that. His perhaps most famous lines, if just in his own mind. 'Stand up and walk. Keep moving forward. You've got two good legs, so get up and use 'em. You're strong enough to make your own path.' His own personal bit of philosophy. It meant all the more coming from someone who only has one leg. If it wasn't for Winry, he wouldn't be able to walk at all. Winry and Granny Pinkao both.

Edward owed them so much.

Sighing a little, Ed began contemplating just what kind of obscene charges Winry would impose upon him for this. Wiping the cold sweat off his hand onto the mattress below him, he reached a clammy hand out to snag the glass of water off the table Winry had put there for him. Closing his eyes, he emptied the cup, letting out a deep breath when he took the glass away from his lips. Even if he was noiseless throughout the process, the chimera's throat was still dry. A physical reaction.

When he opened his eyes he saw Alphonse slipping into the room, grey eyes scouring his form intently. Ed noticed how Alphonse's hand twitched a little, a displeased worried frown marred his angelic face, how grey eyes lingered on the restraints. Setting the cup down Ed gave his little brother a reassuring smile when their eyes locked, but he wasn't sure how 'reassuring' he was when he looked deathly ill by all standards. Automail surgery tended to have that effect on the body.

"Brother…" Alphonse whispered, clearly at a loss of words. Even though, Ed felt a little better with his younger brother there. Beckoning with his only hand left, Al scurried over quickly and sat on the bed on Ed's left side, laying his head against his elder's chest. Naturally, Edward's left arm looped around Alphonse's waist and held him closer as the caramel brunette listened to his heartbeat. Funny. Normally it'd be the visitor comforting he patient, not the other way around. Al was just so worried though. While Ed knew what was coming, knew how to handle this from experience, Alphonse had no other way to cope except hope his brother would be alright. Last time, throughout the entire surgery and fever process, Al had been locked out. Whether Winry wanted him getting visitors this time or not, Ed was aware nothing would have stopped Al from knocking the door down.

"I'm fine Al. It went okay, we're taking a short break, then moving onto my leg. At least now I can breathe properly." After a few moments of comforting silence, Ed leaned forward and buried his face in Al's hair, breathing deep. The vanilla scent filled his nostrils along with the vague smell of the outdoors and what was simply Alphonse. His little brother. Actually having the younger Elric there, in the flesh, was an immense comfort to Ed. It would be even more important when he got the ports reattached and the fever set in. At least this time he'd have Al there, able to feel him, better able to ground his mind.

Fevers and Edward Elric did not tend to get along real well, considering that he ended up trapped in memories most times. Memories of times best not pondered.

"I don't like feeling this anxious brother," Al finally whispered, letting out a shaky breath that tickled Ed's skin.

"Al, staying in here and watching would make it even worse for you," Ed finally responded, pulling his face away from his brother's hair to tuck Al's head under his chin and stare at the door. "I know you hate seeing me hurt or bleed, or anything of the like. This would be so much worse for you. It's better for you to stay out in the living room. Try and occupy yourself. Play chess, talk, I dunno, something. Maybe get someone to try and spar with you. But I'm asking you not to worry, alright? So far I've been fine. And you trust both Winry and Riza. Neither of them will let anything bad happen."

"I just don't like it," the younger Elric whispered in defeat.

"Neither do I," Ed put in, grimacing slightly. "But, it'll be worth it. No way in hell am I going to let myself be some deformed cripple for the rest of my life."

Alphonse gave a small laugh, finally relaxing against his elder brother. "I wouldn't expect any less, Brother."

Their companionable silence was broken when Riza came back in with a clean tub of warm water. Ed sent her a small appreciative smile, internally wincing at the slight sickly look to her. He must have been a sight to see during surgery to make Riza Hawkeye pale.

Following close behind the military sharpshooter was, surprisingly enough, or maybe not so much, Mustang. Neither Riza or Roy commented on the position of the two brother's knowing already that one, any criticism while Alphonse is worried out of his mind will result in blood flying, and two, the Elric brothers had a connection that no one could really ever understand.

Ed watched Mustang take stock of the room and wince a little at the strange metallic flesh scent in the air. Al pulled himself a little closer to Edward now, unconsciously moving to grip his chimera brother possessively, as if whoever had entered was going to try and pry him away.

Mustang had to raise an eyebrow at that and gave Alphonse a calculating look, as if considering his current state compared to Edward's. Physically, it was obvious Ed was far worse off from the slight shuddering of his breaths and paled sickly look. Mentally though, Fullmetal was coping far better than Alphonse. Clearing his throat lightly, onyx orbs moved back up to meet curious gold eyes before he took note of Edward's hairstyle.

Ed scowled as Mustang stifled a snicker, smirking at him in the most antagonizing way possible.

"One word, Sparky, just one," Ed practically hissed, narrowing his eyes.

"'Sparky?'" Mustang spoke after a moment, face oddly flat as it was greeted with the very demeaning nickname.

"Yes, it does rather fit you, doesn't it," the chimera pointed out a little too joyously, feeling his arm tighten around Al just a little as the ravenette approached the opposite side of the bed. After giving a small toothy smile in regards to the Flame Alchemist's dry glare, the General sighed.

In moments he dropped the act, and Edward was a little thrown off by that. The fact he could clearly see the concern written all over his superiors body language was just weird.

"All kidding aside, how're you holding up?"

"I've been through worse, I'm fine," the automatic reaction came in a bland tone before Ed could amend it. Giving a small grunt of frustration, ignoring the flicking of his own tail in correspondence to his emotions, he tried again. "All things considered, pretty well. Better than most other people probably could, considering circumstances. Have to say, besides hurting like fuck, this is by far the weirdest thing I've ever felt. Just the sensation of having my flesh pulled away from by collarbone was…ugh!"

"You shouldn't curse brother," Al admonished weakly, peering up at Edward through his fringed bangs. The sight of Alphonse looking up at him like that sent a nervous jolt through his nervous system. The way Al had said was just too innocent. Sharpened eyes also picked up on the light flush to his younger sibling's cheeks, and Ed could only thank his rather potent self control that he wasn't blushing too as he came to realize just how close he and Al were snuggled. Why would he blush though? This was his little brother. Nothing strange there about comforting him, but something about the contact seemed more intimate now than ever. Ed could feel his skin tingle everywhere that was in contact with Alphonse and his breath caught slightly.

"Bah," Edward scoffed, turning away so his eyes would be forced to stop mapping his little brother.

Stupid chimera senses.

* * *

Flesh limbs strained against leather straps, making the bed creak and groan from the tension. Then it relaxed again, leaving irritated red indents along the lines where the binds had pushed against. Staggering but steady breaths filled the room as the two woman worked efficiently and quietly.

Another muscles spasm and the prone body jerked again. Pitch black and bright gold lion's tail thrashed in its restraints, never quitting its attempts to pull free.

Edward grit his teeth, the warm scent of blood smacking him in the face as his bandaged shoulder began to bleed, staining white cotton wrappings dark red.

Another sharp pain set nerves aflame as they burned and fryed, causing the alchemist's body to spasm involuntarily. It was lucky Edward had as much self control as he did, or it would have been so much worse. As the procedure went on, the spasms were reduced to small twitches and jerks, while for most patients they would have progressively worsened.

Another nerve connection was removed and the chimera's body jerked again.

Rather than shutting his eyes against it, gold eyes remained open, staring at the ceiling. Still, he couldn't help whenever there was a small break how his eyes were drawn to look at the procedure being performed upon his leg, namely the removal of an automail port.

Searing pain convulsed through his nervous system with every connection removed. Because to do so, they had to implant something into the small nerve junction and pry it off. As quick as it was, it was like connecting his arm or leg, only worse.

For a moment, Edward wondered if the leather straps were strong enough. They'd made sure to give him stronger than usual protocol restraints, but these were still being loosened, though the fact he was able to deaden his reactions helped.

Still, by all rights he should be screaming and writhing in pain. The screams just wouldn't happen. If not just because he was that stubborn, also because Edward had endured worse. The whole writhing was because of a liberal amount of self restraint that was quickly draining his energy. If it wasn't enough that not too long ago he was turned into a chimera, his body kept changing which took a severe amount of energy and left him much weaker than Ed liked. So he probably wouldn't even have the ability to squirm anyways.

Disconnected as he was, he knew his body was already feeling the trauma and traditional sickness would set in a day or so. There shouldn't be any fever to accompany the removal of ports, but when they were reinstalled, it would be hell. Ed would be spitting up blood.

As a matter of fact, he could feel a small trickle of blood running down his jaw from his lips and sticky warmth was spreading across his collarbone and shoulder. Seems his nervous system was not happy with this turn of events.

"'M almost done taking off the nerve connectors," Winry spoke in a quiet voice, but it cut across the stagnant air loudly. Edward took a moment to examine her and saw the sheen of nervous sweat, how she winced each time he twitched, but she remained steadfast in her job. Hawkeye worked diligently alongside her, handing along tools, placing connections in the disposal bin, pulling the leather binds back tight when need be.

Ed merely gave a small nod to show he heard, not even caring if Winry saw or not. He was too busy making sure his body didn't succumb to unconsciousness from the trauma.

Apparently Hawkeye had noticed his bleeding shoulder and moved to wet a cloth.

Another fierce cringe as white flashed and he had to grit his teeth as his nerves sent a nervous twinge through him. The now Lieutenant Colonel Riza Hawkeye was filling his view in only a few moments, wiping the blood from his mouth and adding come more bandages for padding onto his shoulder. They couldn't just stop and replace them now in mid-procedure.

The rest of the nerve connection removal went much the same way, with Ed's energy seeping out quickly and the female duo hardily ignoring that it was Edward Elric's blood that was coating their hands.

"There. We're nearly done Ed," Winry updated, perhaps noticing the glazed sort of look Edward's eyes had taken on and he mindlessly nodded, pressing his lips together in a tight line.

Golden orbs quickly flew open and Ed barely kept himself from trying to tug his thigh away as Winry began unscrewing the bolts hat had embedded into his bones. A weird muffled squelching filled the room as metal rubbed hard against flesh and metal casing. The chimera teen stared determinedly at the ceiling, trying to ignore the strange noise. Gritting his teeth, Ed tried not to think about the tearing moving muscle trapped under the port. Swallowing hard, the young alchemist transferred every bit of his attention to attentively regulating his shuddering breaths. It wasn't as painful as the nerve work was, but the sensations and sounds were so disturbing to Edward, especially since they were being made with his body.

Ed refused to turn away when it was time to removal the casing that had enclosed his leg stump for nearly six years now. Glancing up quickly, Edward gave the go with a sharp nod.

A sucking noise filled the room aswell as a strange hissing of air until it all ended with a wet popping sound. Held in the blonde mechanic's hands was Edward's leg port, shined with blood and small bits of flesh clung to it, hanging freely. Quickly Winry placed it aside and Hawkeye set to helping rinse down his open wound, professionally ignoring the smell that was enough to twist most anyone's stomach.

Ed shivered at the tingling running sensation of lukewarm water on his vulnerable skin, but couldn't look away, just like the last time. His nerves were still twinging from the shocks of connection removal, but his thigh was feeling better without the tigh constriction. He could see the angry red of irritation just beyond the paler scars that bordered where his automail once connected.

Ed watched somewhat blearily as his leg was rinsed over and over until the small amount of bleeding stopped and bits of skin stopped coming off.

With the knowledge that the torturous procedure was finally through, Edward had no qualms with shakily laying himself back down and giving into the dark abyss of unconsciousness.

* * *

Al felt better than he had before. Not that he wasn't still anxious and fidgety, but he was more distracted.

"Damn! Kid, how are this good?" Havoc whined as Al once more took the winnings of the round. Al, Havoc, Breda, Falman, and Fuery were all playing poker in the living room on the coffee table, having rearranged the couches and chairs to accommodate such an act. Meanwhile, Mustang sat there chuckling, having outright refused to join yet was content to watch.

Giving faint smile, Al innocently organized his growing pile of winnings while Falman decided he was done and Fuery and Breda searched their pockets for any more money.

"Just luck, I guess," Alphonse intoned, hiding a grin. Truthfully, it wasn't really luck. Al was counting the cards, a poker trick Granny Pinako had told the boys about after having taught them poker. The old bat herself had never been too good with the trick, but Edward and Alphonse had learned. Despite that fact Ed was probably better at it, the older Elric preferred use of intimidation.

Mustang smirked, giving the brunette knowing look while Al put up a rather convincing 'innocent front.'

Havoc gave him a very dissatisfied look and began to deal again when the hallway door open. All thoughts and card calculations were immediately deemed unworthy of Al's attention and he shot up, trying not to pale as much greeted with a sight very similar to the one he saw a few hours ago, only Winry was toting the tub of water and port this time.

"Ed's resting now. He'll come to in a few hours probably," Winry told them all in a flat voice, much unlike how they usually knew the loud bubbly mechanic. Then again, when it came down to working, she could be the perfect businesslady.

This earned some relieved looks, though it was all mingled with a little apprehension. Winry seemed a little out of it as she crossed the living room to the front hallway to go up the stairs. The moment the lemon blonde was gone, Alphonse had bolted for Edward's temporary room.

Cracking the door open, Alphonse peered in.

The smell made him wince a little and he pushed the door open wider to hopefully air it out a little. It was a coppery metal smell that stung your nostrils like tire rubber only there was the tinge of blood to it.

Slipping in, Al closed the door, knowing Winry wouldn't want it open for bacteria filled air to come in or some other reason. Al quickly retrieved a wood chair from the side of the room, dragging it to his brother's bedside, all the while never letting his eyes stray from Edward.

Settling down, he began a closer inspection, worrying his lower lip when he noticed some dried blood on Ed's chin and the overly pale complexion. The restraints had been removed from Ed's prone form, which calmed the grey eyed Elric a little bit.

Alphonse paused when he realized he kept tracing Edward's abs and tore his eyes away with a blush.

Al had actually found himself doing that, even before the General retrieved he and his brother from Sein's labs. Occasionally he'd just space out and start absentmindedly following the lines of his brother's body. It was strange to Alphonse to say the least. Ever since he'd gotten his body back, he'd realized he'd been touching Ed more than was regular, but that wasn't too weird for the both of them. It was just the fact he could feel against was so amazing, but he just like the feel of his brother better than anything else. And the smell of Brother. The sound of Brother's voice.

Alphonse hadn't even realized he had done it, but his hand had reached over to absently brush Ed's and he jumped a little when something cold suddenly clamped onto him. Jumping a little, Al looked down to realize Ed's hand had firmly wrapped around his own in a familiar grip.

Smiling slightly, Al gave a small squeeze back. Ed seemed to relax though his hold remained strong, but Al could see his elder brother's face begin to relax.

Edward's hand was cold and clammy, but still retained the spark of warmth Ed's touch always brought Al and he felt something twinge a little in his gut. Another red spread over Al's face when he realized he'd been tracing Edward's face again and he groaned quietly, quickly burying his face on the mattress and propping his other arm on the bed.

Al knew deep down that there was something weird with how he was acting. His feelings for Ed had changed. He still loved him dearly, he always had, but it was different now. More intense.

Just the thought made his insides squirm a bit in some sort of anticipation.

All could only think how every time Edward smiled, his heart had leapt. Every time Ed's skin brushed his, Al's skin tingled. So many times his grey eyes were drawn to look at Ed, memorize him, but it wasn't enough. His hands always twitched as if wanting to reach out and trace them with his fingertips instead of eyes, but Al knew. He knew this was not normal, so he resisted it. Even for a boy who hadn't had his body for nearly six years, there were limits and he felt that was one of them. Something about the thought of touching Ed in that was made his face flush and his body would grow warm and uncomfortable. Something about it seemed a little too intimate for brotherly love, so Al valiantly tried to stave it off, but he had a feeling in time it would become just that much more difficult.

He wanted Ed to hold him in strong arms and whisper away all these worries, to tell Al it was normal, even though he knew it wasn't and that Ed couldn't do that.

It was all so _so_ confusing, but there was nothing Alphonse could do about it, so he'd just have to wait it out. This was one thing he couldn't ask Edward about. Not right now. Maybe when Ed was better. Al just hoped he could cope until then.

Irritated that he was worrying about himself at a time like this, Al sighed and drifted to sleep at his brother's side, still clinging to Ed's hand.

* * *

**Review, please! I really want to hear any thoughts on the progress with this fiction so far. Again, I'd like to give a thank you to everyone who took the time to read this story and thank the people who have reviewed for the previous chapters so far. No, really. Thank you. You guys don't know how much I appreciate all the support.**

**Once again, sorry for the lack of updates on my other two stories, but I don't want to force the writing and end up making a shitty chapter that disappoints everyone and ruin the stories. Though, given the amount of feedback those authors notes got me on them, I feel guilty about leaving you other guys empty handed, so I'll make a point to drop kick my muse as often as I can until I can get them back in gear.**

**Reviews are luff, as always.**

**Thanks again for any and all support~**

**Love you guys!**


	8. Chapter 8

***headdeskx20* Four consecutive projects, an essay, and a flood of tests has really cut into my time and the computer I had this chapter written up on was on the fritz so I never got a chance to upload it. Sorry for the wait D: **

**This part wasn't really planned, so it made it difficult to get written and I've had essay after essay after project recently, so that makes it even more difficult.**

**So, as said, my muse for my other stories is still rotting in a corner which disappoints me severely, but there's not much I can do about it. Also, ideas for this story or input is always, always appreciated, so feel free.**

**If you haven't guess by now, yes, this is Elricest. I hope this does not dissuade anyone from reading this story. Any chapters that may have heavy elricest will be given an extra warning so you can skip over if you want. **

**Also, I'd like to give a big thanks to all the support I've gotten so far on this story! Really, it means a lot to me that people are really enjoying this. But it's nice to give back to the fanfiction center that I've fed off of for so long~**

**Warnings: Unbeta'd, Manga-verse/Post Promised Day, AU, Mature themes, cussing, future slash and/or yaoi**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.**

**Enjoy~ ;D**

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Sunlight filtered into the room through open blinds, reflecting off of the dust motes floating aimlessly through the air. The room was fairly dull, being an extra so it was used for some storage. Currently though, it held some tables and equipment often seen for automail and small patches if blood stained the carpet around the single operation bed. The cot was much like that of a hospital on a wire framework and pale blue sheets. The room even had the overpowering sterilized scent of a hospital with the linger hints of metal and blood which made anyone who came in wince.

The single occupant of the room twitched a little and his eyelids fluttered open reluctantly. Letting his head roll backwards he saw that the sun had risen through the window behind him. Scowling a little, his sleep muddled mind demanded he go back to sleep, but his stomach rebelled.

Growling his disgruntlement, Edward Elric attempted to push himself upright, attempted being the keyword. He quickly found he did not have the required support on his right side to hoist himself up.

All drowsiness fled gold eyes when they realized he had no right arm. And no port. Not a moment later he realized his left leg stump was also absent of its metal connection site.

Adrenaline pumped through his veins in reaction to the panic as his eyes rolled in their sockets wildly, searching the room. Why was he in here? What had happened?

Suddenly, Ed stopped, and heaved a great sigh, flopping back on his pillow bonelessly as his memory banks kicked in. He'd had to have his ports removed, right. Shuddering a little, Ed recalled the horrid noises what his flesh had made when the automail bases had been disconnected from his skin and folded his ears against the sides of his head.

Quiet for a few moments, Ed tentatively sniffed the air, focusing so he could identify the scents. There was that disgusting hospital odor of disinfectant, sour flesh, and metal. It blanketed the room and made the air seem stagnant. There were the lingering scents of his military team, Hawkeye and Mustang's being the most prominent of the bluecoats that visited. Ed could also tell Winry had spent a lot of time in here tending to him and Al nearly could have been in the room.

Taking a deep deep breath, Ed marveled at the simple free movement of his ribcage for a moment. It was weird not having a metal junction fixated onto his right side. Using his left arm, Ed carefully set about propping himself up, glad that his stumps didn't do much more than sting at the movement. That meant there were no infections. Good.

Looking himself over, Edward saw his skin was still a slightly pale palor, but otherwise fine. His muscles felt unusually stiff, but that happened when you were bedridden, especially after a traumatizing operation. Ed grimaced, knowing that his was more than likely going to face muscle spasms whenever he overdid himself for a while.

Reaching up to feel his hair, Ed was a little surprised to find it as soft at ever, not oily and gross as expected. Now he knew part of the reason he could smell Al so clearly. Must have spent a fair bit of time keeping him cleaned up.

Doing a once over of the room, Ed noticed there wasn't a wheelchair or crutch for him to use. Of course. Don't want Edward getting up and doing something stupid. And if he transmuted something, it'd be a little difficult right now. Especially since the thing he was sitting on was his only supply source without injuring himself while attempting to get to the floor or some such.

Well this sucked.

Huffing a little, Ed flopped back onto the bed, wincing ever so slightly when his body ached in protest.

Closing golden eyes, Ed let his focus stray to his senses.

Outside he could hear the chirping of songbirds and the distant rumbling of cars. Within the room, everything was silent save for the slight shift of the mattress when Edward moved. Taking another deep breath, Ed tried to pick apart each smell and found himself passing the time, however short it was, identifying scents as best he could.

The sound of footsteps leaving the living room and heading down the hallway jarred Ed from his thoughts which had devolved into contemplating Al's distinct vanilla odor and running his hands- sorry, hand- through the candy brunette's hair.

The footsteps were strong and regular, accompanied with the slight noise of metal jingling in pockets. Winry.

Licking his lips subconsciously as the vanilla wreathed contemplations faded, Ed once more carefully hauled himself upright. Taking a deep calming breath, he grimaced lightly at the twinges and nervous jolts of his nerves.

Sliding sharp golden eyes open, he had only to wait a few seconds before Winry reached the door and carefully twisted it open. Peeking in, Winry jumped when bright molten orbs met her own and let out a rather undignified cry of surprise having not expected Ed to wake up this soon.

They both just stared dumbly at each other for a moment before Ed snorted and cracked up laughing despite his muscle twinges. Winry's face flushed a bright red and she stomped into the room, furious at being caught off guard, and by the time she was at Edward's bedside, ready to thrash him with a wrench, he was curled in on himself, trying to stifle his laughter hopelessly but unable to move for the cramps.

"You should have-ah-seen your face Win'! It was-oah-hilarious!" Ed managed through the spasming muscles and uncorked laughter.

"Edward," the lemon blonde snarled, glaring down at her childhood friend, wishing she could hit him, but it would be wrong to hit a patient, even if they are and because they are Edward Elric.

"I can't-erk-help it, Winry!" Ed continued to laugh, steadily dying into chuckles and he remained in his curled position.

"Ed?" Winry inquired after a minute of merely staring at the boxer clad alchemist curled on his side with dark strands shadowing his face, keeping the twitches of pain from view.

"I'm fine Win," Ed laughed breathily, slowly uncurling himself to keep his body complacent and presented the mechanic with a bright grin that she hadn't seen in ages. It was the grin that he'd lost the moment Al lost his body, but since Al had gotten back his flesh and blood, Ed seemed to have been regaining some things too.

His old grin was one of those things that Edward was rediscovering and Winry was hoping that it was something Ed would never lose again.

"I highly doubt that, Edward Elric," Winry retorted, forcing her own smile away and narrowing her eyes at him. "I am your mechanic, meaning I know what the side effects of the surgery are. You are anything but fine."

Sighing, Ed closed his eyes, contemplating what to say to his surrogate sister.

"Fine. I feel and probably look like hell. Happy?" He looked at Winry with tired eyes and a slight grimace, feeling the rippling aches tugging at his sore body.

"Not really," the lemon blonde sighed, looking helplessly at the alchemist before her. "Atleast your more coherent now."

Something inside Edward tightened and he felt his hand clench as he noticed how Winry's gaze lingered on his changed features. Before she could bring it up though, his stomach growled loudly.

"That's to be expected," Were the words mumbled accompanied by an eye roll. Quickly, the young woman exited only to return not a minute later with a wheelchair. And Mustang.

What?

Gold eyes narrowed into slits, practically shooting animosity and indignant fury at the two.

Winry huffed, rolling the chair over to his bedside and positioning it while Mustang moved to help Ed, only to be given a tight warning snarl the moment he attempted to touch him. Both of the standing occupants paused at the guttural noise, sending looks of caution and worry Ed's way before continuing.

"Ed, if you so much as try to get in this wheelchair without help, we're going to leave you here without any food and give you nothing but milk to drink for the next week," Winry threatened, quickly jerking the wheelchair when Ed did inch closer to the chair while on the bed. Piercing the female with a glare worthy of hell, Ed tensely nodded his assent. Mustang and Winry worked quickly on maneuvering Edward off the bed and into the chair. Muttering darkly, he allowed himself to be pushed down the hall by his childhood friend.

Lucky for them Ed's hunger was more overbearing than his agitation. Glaring balefully around his house as he was carted towards the kitchen, Ed let the strong scents of sustenance wash over him. Home cooked pastry biscuits, warm bread, frying rabbit meat, fresh cut vegetables, and some fruit. That meant sandwiches and salads with a handmade smoothie. Not too unusual a meal fix for the Elrics, very reminiscent of their days in training. In fact, he could also smell someone vary familiar and very terrifying in the kitchen aswell.

And something smacked Ed upside the face like a heel kick to the jaw courtesy of Envy. Edward went ramrod straight, ears pressed flat to his skull, and face slowly turned up to stare at the kitchen entrance fearfully.

"Ed?"

Said person nearly winced when Winry spoke, wanted to scream at her for giving him away, but was far too afraid by the sudden hush in the space just beyond the hall. He did not register Winry's befuddled silence or that she had stopped pushing him towards his doom. He did not notice the curious glance Mustang was casting towards him. All he heard was the scrape of wooden chairs on tile. The single set of ominous powerful footsteps making their way towards him. The furious terror inducing menace of the dreadlocked woman standing over him with eagle sharp pitch black eyes and fist smacking into hind in a familiar 'you are now _**fucked**_' gesture.

He knew what was coming next.

Bracing himself for the powerful bone cracking blow, Ed whipped his face to the side, forced his eyes closed tight, and clenched his jaw as tight as he could.

Only the blow never came.

Opening one gold eye cautiously, Ed peered up at his Teacher through gold and black bangs to see her slack blank face, fist still held loosely in the punch position. Immediately his stomach twisted into itself and his skin crawled. He could feel it. He could feel her thought process. Her dumbstruck horror that the being before her was her student. That this had happened. Then the unrelenting fury at both her stupid pupil and the poor bastards that did this. The stab of fear that something truly horrible had happened, the small inking of guilt, the maternal instincts starting to kick in, the lack of energy to follow through with the traditional punishment for foolishness, the annoyance at Alphonse for lack of information, the once again rising anxiousness, the sudden urge to vomit blood, the helpless feeling of failure-

"Stop!" Ed growled sharply, both eyes suddenly snapped open wide, completely unaware of the fact he'd broken the chair's left arm with a tight fist, the fact he was trembling all over, and that his new tail was lashing harshly behind him. "Teacher, stop!"

"What?" What the quick indignant confused response in the familiar steely if a little shocked tone of the woman who'd taught him alchemy.

"I can practically fucking feel your thoughts," Ed hissed, unconscious of how his gold eyes had dilated and lengthened dangerously and his how fist now held the crumpled arm rest belonging to the wheelchair he was stuck in. Had he been this susceptible earlier on, when he'd explained things to everyone? Sure, their emotions had caused a slight breakdown because of his receptiveness, but right now, this was just too extreme! Edward struggled to beat back his reaching senses and tried to breathe deep. He needed something else to focus on. Letting himself fully tune into his Teacher had caused the severe receptiveness, now he needed to disconnect from that.

"Brother?" The worried voice of Alphonse cut through his frustrated frayed thoughts and he'd gasped, finally relinquishing the arm of the chair. Letting Al's comforting scent roll over his senses, Ed quickly overlooked his Teacher, shoved the probing emotions of his commanding officer and blonde friend aside. Honing every fiber of his being on his little brother, Ed slowly relaxed, and became aware of the angry pain flooding from his stumps. Looking up, Ed saw Al poke his head into the hallway, casting his brother a deeply worried look. "Brother, are you alright?"

'No, not really,' Ed thought, wishing he could just drag his little brother aside and talk to him about this. Try and get some input and some clear logic because Ed didn't feel as if his mind was going to fully cooperate quite yet, and probably wouldn't for a while. To many outside factors pressing in were oppressing his thought process, added to his irritability, which was worse anyway because of all this damn trouble to replace his automail, and the stress of visitors, he still needed to give Mustang that fucking oral report, and written, and he was so friggin' hungry right now.

Trust was a fickle thing. A deceitful mistress that Edward did not often acquaint himself with. Out of the few people whom he did trust, Alphonse and Teacher were the only ones he trusted completely and fully. Winry was close, but he knew, she couldn't handle it all, knowing the extent of the damage done to him, the horrible things he'd done. And Mustang, while he could trust for certain things, wasn't about to find out jack shit about the way the semi blonde's mind works.

"Yeah," The young alchemist choked after a few moments, working on regulating his breathing, letting Al's presence smooth down his bristling fur, so to speak. "Yeah, I'll be fine."

Alphonse's grey eyes narrowed slightly, Ed's word choice not going unnoticed. The chimera grimaced internally, and finally noticed that there no longer seemed to be a left arm rest. And his left hand had red indents and marks in it.

"Woops," He muttered balefully, staring oddly at the twisted metal framing where the item had been.

"I better get a very very good explanation, and soon." Gold eyes darted back up to see his Teacher's carefully guarded face, and nodded almost instinctively. You did not disobey Isumi Curtis and not pay for it. That he knew well.

With a sharp clap, Teacher had fixed the chair, and a confused and worried Winry proceeded into the kitchen with her charge. Sitting by the table, finishing his own plate of food was Sig. The large man had glanced up to give his wife's ex-student an acknowledging nod only to stop and stare. Stare hard. Because it wasn't everyday that Edward Elric was stuck in a wheelchair with animalesque features sprouting off him. Oh no.

This was going to be a long lunch.

* * *

After a well needed and filling meal, the Fullmetal Alchemist found himself sprawled out on warm grass, the noises of the outdoors blanketing him and the sunlight warming his bare chest. It was easier to just keep him in boxers than hassle over shirts and such. There needed to be easy access to his stumps, and his modesty was shot through the head and stabbed in the heart long ago.

Letting his eyes slide closed, a small content smile curled his lips as he soaked in the sun gratefully. It was warm and comfortable here, out in the large yard of his and Al's home.

Seated beside him was Al, who had decided to make good on Ed's consent and was scratching one of his ears dutifully, giggling a little when a deep purr rumbled his elder brother's chest.

It was one of those precious moments that things seem okay, even if they really aren't. A short sweet moment that the Elric's could relax. Ed wished he could stay there, relaxed and happy with his precious little brother by his side.

It wouldn't last though.

Ed could feel his Teacher hovering beside them in serene outdoors, and her dark gaze demanded answers. Sighing deeply, Ed reached up to bat Al's hand away. He just couldn't focus with his little brother doing that. His attention span was wiped when Al did that now, and while it's a little troublesome, it felt good.

"So, what do you want Teacher? The short version, or the long version?" Ed questioned, finally sliding his eyes open to peer up at her despite the slight sun glare.

"How about the straight to the point version? I want to know what the hell happened Edward!" Izumi snapped. Despite the cutting tone, Ed could tell that more than anything, she was worried. Confused. But he couldn't help the welling feeling of relief that she, unlike the others wasn't scared by this. Wasn't disturbed or brooding about it. She just went with it and accepted it. That's all Edward really wanted them to do anyways.

"The short version it is," He quipped with a dry smirk, letting his eyes slide closed again. "I got sent on a mission, we ran into some trouble, I got fucked over with some new way to make chimeras, had a bunch of erratic changes to my person because of aforementioned chimera trouble, and therefore, due to growth, rather than the gradual adjustments a normal person may receive, I have to get automail replacement surgery."

The imposing woman was quiet for a few minutes, raven eyes scouring her ex student, taking it all in. She wanted to go on her usual violent tirade, to let him have it for being a dumbass, but she just couldn't not when he was like this. Izumi had never seen Ed during that period of time post human transmutation where he was confined to a wheelchair. She hadn't been there the first time to see how vulnerable he was without an arm and leg. And she had never seen the dead muted gold of his eyes when he'd found himself utterly lost shortly after.

And she was thankful for that.

Even now, Ed exuded the essence of life and power that tailed him. A presence that told you that to fool with him would spell your own demise. The raging undefeatable spirit of Edward shone through clearly.

Only once had Izumi ever seen Edward completely open, with his fear, his despair, his utterly chaotic head laid bare before her. In those moments after Father's defeat, the golden blonde had collapsed, molten eyes reduced to blank shock and a spread of emotions that would make any person cringe.

That pain. That raw undivided anguish that had highlighted the dead eyes of Edward Elric as he fell to his knees staring at a visage only he was privy too. The life there that had taken up residence in the hardened frame of the Fullmetal Alchemist had fallen to ashes the moment his anger drained and it sunk in. It took hold and ripped down his carefully maintained walls and securities because he was alone. That one person who he'd held closest, who he'd dedicated his life too and would be willing to blow his own brains out for, was gone. Stolen away for what? An arm? A damned flesh and blood arm that he didn't want if it cost the life of his brother.

Izumi had truly seen her student then. And it terrified her.

No, she could never be scared of Ed. Never. She loved him too much, under stood all too well, but it was that power. That strength that stirred inside him that called for her horror.

Clad in tattered shreds of clothing, aching from metal still embedded in his right shoulder, blood caked on his body and still oozing from angry wounds, Ed had met his Teacher's gaze. There she saw not only distress, but all consuming loneliness that deteriorated the mind with ease. The ravenette had seen the depths of Edward's soul. She'd seen the insanity, the detachment, the omnipresent force of the Gate. She'd seen the self loathing disparity. She'd seen the lost and confused look that could break a heart with its simple question of 'why?' The power though was still there, swilling around him at Edward's disposal. And should he have given in to the insistent pull of the Gate, there's no telling what damage he could have caused.

Despite the risk, Ed had plunged headlong into the knowledge, ignoring that his mind was fraying with every failed thought on how to gain back what is nearest and dearest to him. Falling forward on his hands, staring blankly at the cobblestone below, billions of nonsensical things filled Ed's mind. Things that leapt from subject to subject erratically, searching the reservoirs of knowledge for a way. For some ray of hope. Some little idea that would bring Alphonse back.

Izumi had seen what a shattered soul looked like that day. She saw what a person looked like when they'd lost everything. And she never wanted to again.

Bringing herself out of her dreadful musings, Izumi sighed, seating herself on the ground next to her ex pupils and watched the scene, appreciating the simplicity of it. The bond that these two shared.

"What did you mean earlier Edward?" Izumi asked bluntly. All three had known the questioning was coming, and the only way they'd get the truth was if they were all away from the others. Away from prying ears and eyes that Ed would probably never be able to trust himself to as fully as he could to Teacher and Alphonse. "What did you mean you could 'feel' my thoughts?"

Even the hardened housewife couldn't suppress the light smile, not that she wanted to, when Ed met her dark eyes with a dazed look that showed Ed was completely absorbed in the attention Alphonse was paying to his ears and neck, having resumed his activities of scratching Edward like one would a pet cat.

Just as she was about to repeat her question, Ed seemed to stumble back to earth and reluctantly took Al's hand away, holding the other gently by the wrist. Switching his eyes back to the sky, the questionee contemplated how to explain it for a few moments before furrowing his brow a little and gmiraced slightly.

"I meant I could pretty well feel your thoughts. Spending years with a little brother only existent as a soul really tuned me into that kind of wavelength. Of being able to read someone's emotions like that. Of reading someone from the tiny things and their subconscious actions. I can train myself in on someone, and usually, if I focus, I can tell their emotions, and most usually piece together their thought process. For people I know, I already sort of naturally tune in after so long, especially to Al. Thus, I already have an idea of what thoughts would accompany what emotions, what ideas their inclined to, the like.

"Well, I've discovered from this whole chimera thing, I've become a lot more receptive to it. I don't even have to want to, and I can already feel the emotions around me. It's….it's like that chi sensing stuff Xingese can sometimes do. Only trained in a different way. I think. But the thing is, rather than just being able to sense the people around me, if I so much as focus, my body starts reacting as if I'm wholeheartedly feeling it myself.

"I'd already latched every bit of my attention on you Teacher, completely sure that you'd come through that doorway and break my face in, only to get a nice bitchslap of wanting to vomit blood and feeling like I'd just seen the mutilated vision of someone I loved shoved in front of me without even being told there'd been an accident," Edward explained with sigh, still staring listlessly at the sky, and trying to attune himself to the peace surrounding him than the sharp aura of his only other maternal figure besides his own who was long dead and gone. Unconsciously, he'd never released Alphonse's hand, and had intertwined their fingers, locking his younger sibling their without realizing it.

Al however was very aware of Ed's grip on his hand. His attention battled between absorbing everything Ed said and analyzing what his elder brother's hand was like, for whatever reason. A light flush decorated Al's cheeks as he tried to continue comprehending the words leaving Ed's lips than just listening to the addictive sound of Ed's voice and basking in the tingling warmth their contact brought.

Izumi gazed upon this watchfully and couldn't help but quirk an eyebrow. Something about that contact seemed more intimate than what the Elrics usually displayed. Then again, the boys had been constantly near each other ever since Alphonse got his body back. Many wouldn't have noticed, but Izumi was watchful over her ex pupils and saw the change.

Edward had never been good about human touch or contact. Maybe that was due to him trying to 'man up' when Trisha dies, or he'd always been that way, but Izumi noticed the way he was far more open with Alphonse with others, if only just. At least when people were around.

Izumi saw that Ed would grumble and gripe about Al being clingy or acting like a little girl, but would never push the caramel brunette away.

Showing affection had never really been Ed's strong point. While neither if the boys had enjoyed a normal childhood, Ed was affected a bit more adversely. While Al still interacted a bit as a kid, retained sociability, Ed discarded it in favor of keeping all stress off Al as best he could. Thus Ed just never really learned to express himself to the people around him. Hugs, pats on the back, friendly rough housing, he never got to go through all that except with Al. So Alphosne was the only person Edward ever really came in contact with.

It was even worse after the transmutation and Al lost his body. Ed seemed to shy away from touch of any kind as if he wouldn't allow himself the pleasure of human contact, the comfort it offered, as long as Al couldn't either.

The first time Izumi ever saw Ed initiate a hug between the two of them was when Ed got Alphonse's body back. The first time she'd seen Ed cry was when Al got his body back.

It wasn't all that surprising to Izumi actually that the moment Al was back into the flesh, the brothers practically refused to be in separate rooms more than half the time. Even then, Ed wasn't usually the one to get all cuddly, rather it was Al hanging of his brother's arm at every turn and Ed smiling in bemusement.

Now all of a sudden Ed was the one getting all clingy.

Izumi couldn't suppress a chuckle when she realized just what Ed was doing.

Frowning slightly, Ed shifted gold eyes to stare at the ravenette woman curiously. Still, she just sat there, laughing behind her hand, giving him the amused knowing look. Ed blinked slowly, still staring at Teacher silently laugh before hoisting himself up on one arm, ignorant of the small pout adorning Al's face when their hands separated.

"What?" Ed asked, narrowing his eyes slightly at the woman, curious as to what was amusing her so much. She slowly shook her head, indicating she had no intention of telling him just what was so amusing. Huffing slightly, Ed flopped back down, ignoring way his body whined in protest and continued his cloud watching.

At least they weren't laughing at him.

* * *

**Note, some of it may seema little scrambled, I really wanted to get this up, I'll go back through and recheck everthing tomorrow.**

**Review, please! I really want to hear any thoughts on the progress with this fiction so far. Again, I'd like to give a thank you to everyone who took the time to read this story and thank the people who have reviewed for the previous chapters so far. No, really. Thank you. You guys don't know how much I appreciate all the support.**

**Once again, sorry for the lack of updates on my other two stories, but I don't want to force the writing and end up making a shitty chapter that disappoints everyone and ruin the stories. Though, given the amount of feedback those authors notes got me on them, I feel guilty about leaving you other guys empty handed, so I'll make a point to drop kick my muse as often as I can until I can get them back in gear.**

**Reviews are luff, as always.**

**Thanks again for any and all support~**

**Love you guys!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hurk. **

**Sorry for the shortness, I'm already working on the next chapter, hopefully it'll be out sooner than this one was XP**

**Ideas for this story or input is always, always appreciated, so feel free.**

**If you haven't guess by now, yes, this is Elricest. I hope this does not dissuade anyone from reading this story. Any chapters that may have heavy elricest will be given an extra warning so you can skip over if you want. **

**Also, I'd like to give a big thanks to all the support I've gotten so far on this story! Really, it means a lot to me that people are really enjoying this. But it's nice to give back to the fanfiction center that I've fed off of for so long~**

**Warnings: Unbeta'd, Manga-verse/Post Promised Day, AU, Mature themes, cussing, future slash and/or yaoi**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.**

**Enjoy~ **

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The days began to blur together with Teacher and Sig hanging around, Ed's military team dropping by, filling out the official report for his mission, and getting measurements for his new automail. Edward sighed irritably and glared down at his elbow junction with was now, once more, littered with red dots from all the metal being stabbed into his veins there.

Even if he needed these shots with nerve regeneratives in them to prep his stumps to be attacked by metal, it didn't mean he had to like them. Two shots a day, one in the morning, one in the evening, 14 milligrams diluted with saline. So in addition to cramped muscles still trying to relax after the stress of the port removal, he had to deal with his nerves attempting to combust at random intervals and an annoying tingling in his leg and shoulder.

Two weeks. Winry said a month, but Edward wouldn't have it. The sooner he got the ports back on, the sooner he could get on to the much lengthier, much more hassling recovery. Half the rehabilitation is the mental adjustment, which he already has down, now he just needed the physical.

Ed grumbled quietly as he lay back in his bed, wondering about what would happen tomorrow. Winry had already prepped the ports, gathered supplies, sterilized the room. In short, everything was ready.

Sighing, the chimera teen stretched so that he was sprawled across his current bedding rather laziliy. It was probably better not to think about it and just take it as it came. Automail surgery was never something that coincided with the adgetive 'pleasant.' Seeing as how coherent thought would probably be lost for two weeks or so once the operation began, he should probably contemplate something a bit more pleasant, because the he knew that what he'd be thinking about in the next few days wouldn't be. At all.

Maybe it wouldn't be as bad this time since Alphonse would be there in both body and spirit this time, but that alone would not stop what would be coming. Nothing could except not getting the automail surgery, and as Ed had already established, there was no was in hell he was spending more time than absolutely necessary as an invalid.

Skimming over the muddled past weeks, Ed found he was glad he'd gotten most of his militarty work taken care of. He was having his status changed to inactive for the time being and being put on disability leave. Paperwork for such had been taken care of, apparently Riza had spoken to the Council already and had filled them in. The entire case had been handed back to investigations to look into the research left in Sein base of operations and interrogating the guard staff that had been there. A few alchemists had been assigned to the case to work on decoding for the time being, but it was hoped that the Fullmetal would be able to provide his help soon. This case was still assigned to him after all, but it wasn't an average cold case that could be dropped until the main worker of the case was back. According to research in old archives, there were records of Sein having vague involvement with Shou Tucker, his name mentioned in the bioalchemist's old research reports, and in the immigration and citizen legalization files Sein was apparently an immigrant from Creta. Not good.

If Sein still had contact to any colleagues in Creta, information on this dangerous alchemy could have been leaked. Or maybe he had cohorts in country working behind the scenes, or maybe others in Creta performing experiments like his. The list of possibilities went on and on, each one worse than the last. This was not a case that could be left alone.

Apparently some possible leads had been found, vague mentions of different associates. As Mustang was Edward's commanding officer, the case had temporarily been handed over to him to oversee.

Hopefully nothing bad happened any time soon with that so Ed could recover enough to begin working the case again. No, Ed was not a workaholic, but he wanted those notes dammit.

Skipping to the next topic, Ed found himself thinking of his little brother again and how oddly he'd been around Al lately. Well, really he hadn't been acting all that different, but his thought process had been strange when it pertained to Alphonse recently.

Ed had always had the urge to keep Al close and take care of him, but thoughts had begun going on tantrums of over protective and downright possessiveness. He'd seen Al and Winry hug one day, Winry choking back tears and Ed couldn't help the fact his mind was demanding he go over, tear her away from what was his, and do something the make Winry know not to go hanging off Al like that. He'd felt especially guilty when he had realized what he was thinking, and completely wierded out when he realized what his mind had suggested he do to 'mark his territory.' When Ed had recognized that he was not at all deterred by those thoughts, if nothing else, curious and slightly aroused, they were brushed off as insignificant urges caused by his chimera transmutation.

It really wasn't good if those instincts that he'd been working on honing in free time were screwing with his head that much. After all, that's the only explanation. He firmly told himself he had never even considered such things when thinking of Alphonse before, but that was a lie. Not one Ed was ready nor willing to acknowledge.

Maybe letting his thoughts wonder like this wasn't the best course of action, so clearing his mind, Ed attempted to sleep.

* * *

Sapphire eyes were shrouded with guilt as they stared down at her patient, her brother practically, and steeled herself for what she was about to do to him

Molten gold stared steadily back at her, the rare calm soothing her nerves. He was ready.

Edward smiled softly and gave a small nod before laying his head back on the pillow of his operation cot and fixing his stare on the ceiling.

His shoulder, to be operated on first, was already unbandaged and exposed to the alchemically cooled room. The temperature was useful for slowing the bloodflow which could get a little out of control when graphting an automail port onto someone. Riza stood firmly beside Winry at her instinctual parade rest, awaiting her orders from the young woman.

A specialized metal device, the same as was used to remove his steel nerve ending, was loaded, set to attach, and tapped on the bed once to notify the chimera alchemist strapped to the mattress that it was about to begin.

In a swift precise movement, the contraption was placed against soft reddened flesh and triggered. Instantly, the biting cold clamped onto the first main nerve ending required for the operation of automail. It was like an annoying jerk or muscle twitch only it was painful. Muscles tightened instinctually along his side, but all Ed did was keep staring at the ceiling.

He'd done this once before, he'd do it again.

So it continued, Riza efficiently carrying out the tasks Winry set to her in a soft stern medicinal voice as she steadily worked, attaching nerve receptors in the main areas first, then locating the smaller clusters and attaching the smaller ones. Using her practiced knowledge of the human nervous system made this easier, but it still required some probing of mutilated muscles to get where she needed.

The operation took longer, but that was because of the advanced edition being attached. Using her own advances in automail, Winry had redone the procedure a different way that allowed for more signals to be received. From the clenching of a fist to the shift of a muscle. Edward was only getting the best, and she'd make sure of it. Maybe if she could convince him after he was himself again to take a look into the inner workings of automail, he could help her make the fixes she wanted. Even if she'd never admit it out loud, Ed was a genius.

Once all the nerve receptors were attached, Winry capped off his exposed collarbone. Now for the real pain of automail to start.

Looking at an automail port already attached to someone, one would usually never see all the the tiny receptors or unattacked flesh. Over the numerous receptors is the connection site over a formed placeholder and connection panel, and over that is the protective metal casing. That had to be surgically attached to skin by bolting it to bone and creating wounds that would heal attached to the casing, and that was just how the casing had to be attached. Before the connection plate can even be added though, each receptor must be tested individually to see if it can receive as it should, then certain groups had to be tested to be sure they received signals without interference. To do such, a specialized tester is used that can connect to receptors individually, and using a kind of echo effect, shocks the nerve with then rebounds with the same electrical current if the receptor was done properly.

Even before that could occur, the placeholder had to be set as to minimize movement of receptors during testing. The placeholder was a thin metal casing that is formed individually for each patient for their particular port, but all retained the same basic shape. Fitting the placeholder carefully over the tiny little metal connectors clamped into Edward's flesh, she then carefully began embedding the pins used for the initial placement into his soft shoulder skin.

The needles pierced through into Ed's musculature easily, and he breathed deep, ignoring how a shiver ran down his spine at the similarities between these pins embedding into him and a needle. He'd always hated needles, but not exactly for that pinprick of pain, he hated them because he could always feel whatever it was inside being pushed into his bloodstream. That sickening cool sensation of it slowly being dispersed, but that one area still echoing with whatever had just been put inside him. No, his time sitting in a cold basement being stabbed ever six hours with a needle did nothing to cure his phobia.

Having closed his eyes, Ed hadn't realized Winry had moved to the next step and his breath hitched in surprise and eyes snapped open when a wave of raw power shot through him, followed by a jagged twichy pain that jerked all through him, trying to make him thrash against his bonds. A new prick in his shoulder alerted him to be ready this time when another jolt hit him. This process repeated, over and over, each time his nerves reacted violently, as if trying to rip out of place and jerk away from that energy that kept electrocuting his body.

Have you ever been electrocuted? Well, this was like that, only in short bursts.

Then multiple waves crashed down on Ed, forcing his muscles to seize and jaw to clench.

When had it gotten so cold in here? He felt wet. Distantly his mind supplied him with the information that he was covered in a thin layer of sweat, but still managed to keep steady breathing.

Finally the shocks subsided and he quietly sighed relief, opening his eyes to glance over. Winry met his gaze and gave a small affirmative nod to tell him that everything checked out okay and that they could continue.

Taking a sterile screw, she attached it to the placeholder to the bonecap, and Ed couldn't help the way he swallowed convulsively with he felt the metal screw invade through the thin layering his bone had formed over it's clean cut point. It was like having a concentrated cold injected into him as the bone quickly leached the low temperature into his body. But this was something he'd gotten accustomed to dealing with since he'd had automail for years. The chill of metal was something very familiar to him, but having a screw pierce into his bone was really fucking painful.

The pins put in earlier to hold the plate in place were removed swiftly.

"Okay Ed, brace yourself."

That was all the warning he got before the connection site was placed with technical precision, fitting neatly onto the port site and sending a flare of electricity through his body. Agony laced through him, capitalizing on the metal already attached to him, and rattling every bone in his body with the power surge. The work stopped for a minute so Ed could gather himself, residual twitches causing his leg to jerk some, his neck to crick, and his left hand to spasm.

The connection board itself is where all the electrical impulses pass through, convert into commands correspondent with the automail, and proceed to operate the heavy prosthetic. The little electrical impulses straight from the body's nervous system aren't powerful enough on their own to operate the heavy equipment. The connection board is the interconnected system of wires and split second sequences that multiplies the impulses into the electrical charge needed to move the automail like an average arm. Unfortunately, first connecting this device is often described as excruciating and like electrocution, but the initial power surge upon connection isn't nearly high enough to kill someone. Well, maybe a lesser someone, but automail is not for the weak for a reason.

The short break allowed things to come into vague focus for Edward, but the slow heavy ache of muscles fogged his mind. He was aware he was undergoing automail surgery, but did not question why when his mind still recalled he should have perfectly good automail still. That was okay though. It hurt, a lot. But he kept quiet.

No, his mind was gone for now.

Sweat rolled down his body, soaking the sheets, the chords attached to the connection plate left intact. They were what expelled the electrical impulse upon setting the device to synchronize the receptors and record nerve pulses on the computer like device it was hooked up to.

After a short break to clean equipment, Winry and Riza were back to work, this time on the chimera teen's leg with the same process.

It had been at least three and a half hours since the process first began, and now it was time for the casings to be attached. First though, the wires and chords connected to the connector plates had to be detached one by one after shutting down the shock system they were attached to.

Once all the wires and like were cleared, Winry procured two rings of metal, one that fit around the shoulder connection plate and one for the leg. Both fit snugly around the plates, but squeezed against the flesh around them harshly. Rather than be screwed in place, these needed to be attached by the skin to the skin. After sending Riza to fetch Al to adjust the alchemic cooling system, a blessing for the operation, Winry used a surgical blade to create fine cuts along on the outside of the lining. It was cool enough that the blood wouldn't run profusely, but warm enough that it oozed out slowly and steadily.

Edward had remained silent and compliant through the whole surgical process, a medical wonder really. Eyes were lidded, and stress lined his face. It would seem everything was catching up, and with the pure exhaustion from the automail removal and now reinstallation he just wanted to sleep.

"Ed, you in there?" Blue and yellow flashed above his muddled vision, taking a moment to reorient himself. Once he did, he winced at the deep aches wracking his body and stinging nerves. Recognizing Winry's voice, he blinked before swallowing thickly.

"Yeah," He rasped, frowning at his own voice that was laced with fatigue and pain, yet remained steady.

"You can sleep now. We'll need to attach the casings later, but for now, sleep."

That was the last thing he heard before giving in to the forgiving darkness that he couldn't remember creeping up on him.

* * *

Unable to rouse Edward from his exhaustion, Winry decided to attach his casings the next day. It was around early noon on Wednesday when Winry and Izumi entered the sterile room, having already prepared everything needed inside.

Quietly they entered, the mechanic automatically moving to check Ed's temperature, frowning a little when she found it had already begun to elevate, indicating a swift onset of frequent installment fever, and his body was tense, obviously going into shock.

Placing a gentle hand on her patient's left shoulder, Winry called softly.

"Edward, wake up." His face twitched slightly, and eyes opened to half mast, staring blankly at her as she had feared he would. The fever had already set in. Biting her lip, she forced herself to ignore the bland, flat look to her best friend. "I need you to stay awake, alright? Keep those eyes open."

After he'd given a small nod that confirmed her understood on some level, she backed off and gathered her tools together as well as the fitted port casings she'd crafted for Ed.

"Mrs. Curtis, do you think you could-" Winry started, looking over at the woman before stopping when she saw how sharp dark eyes were riveted on Ed's prone vulnerable form, more docile and unreactive than the woman had ever seen him.

"It's the fever," Winry spoke quietly, finally catching Izumi's attention. At the worried confused look she received, Winry forced herself to continue, unable to look anywhere but the floor. "We discovered it after the first operation. His fever lasted for almost two weeks. To begin with, he was just…quiet. He wouldn't react to anything and his eyes were all blank. We were scared, Al and I, but Granny said he'd be alright. After a couple of days, he was completely unresponsive, like he was unconscious, but his eyes were stuck upon. He kept…mumbling stuff. Information about anything and everything. When he finally 'came too,' it was like he was stuck in his own personal nightmare. He couldn't…stop…crying-" Winry choked on her words, unable to keep thinking about it. Being eleven years old and watching the boy who might as well have been her brother breaking down into tears was terrifying for her because she couldn't do anything to help.

The lemon blonde hadn't even realized she was shaking until she felt arms wrap around her and a hushed voice telling her it's alright. Blinking back the tears threatening to fall, she pulled away from Izumi's rare hug and smiled gratefully at the woman.

"Sorry, I just don't like thinking about it. I always get so emotional," Winry laughed half heartedly, sniffing a little before taking a deep breath. "Anyway, could you help me in getting some of this set up where its easier to get to while we work and I'll explain the process."

After Winry's little episode everything went without a hitch.

Once more Winry started at his shoulder after checking that the cuts she'd made previously had scabbed over against the connector linings. After clearing both shoulder and leg for operation, she took a cloth, dipped it in warm water, and gingerly wiped off his shoulder, the flesh that had been reddened and raw just a couple weeks ago now a pinker, more flesh color, yet still as raw. Then, using some cotton balls doused with alcohol, she wiped down the entire shoulder area that would be covered and then some. Ignoring the dead like eyes that were absently following her, Winry retrieved the metal casing for Edward's shoulder. With Izumi's assistance, she rolled the semi blonde onto his left side so she could work on his right side easily and fit the final hunk of metal onto him, which easily slid into place against the lining and provided the extra coverage for the connection plate. Unlike Edward's first port, which had prevented extra shoulder and ribcage movement, this casing was thinner and had the screws that anchored the port as a whole in place in a few key spots allowing for max mobility. Ed really hadn't needed his port to cover as much space as it had in the first place, so this was another up, plus all it really needed to anchor it in place was for the scar tissue to attach it to his body, which was already half formed from the initial removal of a port.

The young mechanic worked diligently and easily, suppressing winces and quivers at the resistance of pieces of his bone or the squelching squeak of metal digging into skeleton. At least for his collar bone she crafted the same sort of extended piece that he originally had so she could anchor this one with the same spot so no new hole needed to be dug into his skeletal structure. After the port had been fitted and screwed on, she just had to stitch up the open wound area on his side which Winry accomplished with agile fingers.

That had taken about an hour with all the precautions, careful movement, and small adjustments. Steadfastly ignoring the blood staining her surgical gloves, the automail engineer moved on to her patient's stump of a left leg, continuing a silent mantra of 'it's just another patient, it's just another patient.'

* * *

**I am so sorry for the late update. Really DX I'm gonna try to get this thing back on better update schedule.**

**Review, please! I really want to hear any thoughts on the progress with this fiction so far. Again, I'd like to give a **_**thank you**_** to everyone who took the time to read this story and thank the people who have reviewed for the previous chapters so far. No, really. Thank you. You guys don't know how much I appreciate all the support.**

**Once again, sorry for the lack of updates on my other two stories, but I don't want to force the writing and end up making a shitty chapter that disappoints everyone ****and ruin the stories. Though, given the amount of feedback those authors notes got me on them, I feel guilty about leaving you other guys empty handed, so I'll make a point to drop kick my muse as often as I can until I can get them back in gear.**

**Reviews are luff, as always.**

**Thanks again for any and all support~**

**Love you guys!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Lots of testing. Little sleep. Little time.**

**Really guys, I'm sorry, unbelievably sorry for these late updates. I know none of you have gotten on my case about it, and I thank all of you for your patience. That however doesn't stop me from bitching myself out when I can for taking such a long time**

**So, yeah, soon the plot starts picking back up, soon I get into the chapters that had more of the initial planning and are already fleshed out in my head, so can hopefully be put up sooner. This chapter however has more of Al's perspective, his issues, kinda angsty, but hey, I want you all to get all of this story. All the emotion from it, all the stress, every element that should be there.**

**As has been revealed, this will be an Elricest story, but its one that makes sense. There is substance, plot, build up, all of that jazz. I thank those of you who aren't Elricest fans or those that do not like it at all that have given your time to read this story. I know that pairings like this one sometimes turn people off, and it saddens me greatly that some are not as accepting or open to other ideas, or these very real possibilities. So really, I thank you. As for the fans of Elricest and all, sorry, but this is gonna build up to anything between them , so it'll take some time, but more hints are gonna be dropped from now on folks, so watch out.**

**Ideas or suggestions are always appreciated and considered.**

**Also, I'm thinking of starting to reply to each review I get in these A/Ns, what do you all think? I know some do it, some don't, I'm just usually fixated on getting the damn chapter up.**

**Warnings: Unbeta'd, Manga-verse/Post Promised Day, AU, Mature themes, cussing, future slash and/or yaoi**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.**

**Enjoy~ **

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When Edward Elric suffered through automail surgery at the tender age of eleven, he like all other patients fell victim to a fever as his body adjusted to the foreign device now latched onto his body. The usual symptoms of automail fever are chills, headaches, irritability, nausea, inability to remain lucid for extended periods of time, confusion, profuse sweating, and in worse cases, hallucinations and severe phantom itches. Signs of automail rejection usually involve excess port site inflammation, rashes, convulsions, muscle weakness, and terrible migraines often accompany it.

Edward never showed any signs of rejection the first time through, but they did discover he suffered the worst of the fever. In fact, it brought forth something that wasn't Edward.

Just by looking at his eyes, one could see Edward wasn't present currently. For almost a week after a few days of unresponsive behavior Ed remained as such. His pupils were fully dilated, leaving only a small ring of gold surrounding the irises. There would be no emotion, no reactions, nothing but a steady stream of murmmerings about anything and everything. Information void of everything but the truth.

And that was what Alphonse suspected it to be.

Sitting beside Ed's hospital like cot, Al hugged his legs to his chest, curled up in his chair, keeping an ever watchful eye on his older brother who had gone into a listless sleep. Beads of sweat formed all over his body, tracing his well defined muscles as they slid down to soak the sheets around him.

For the time being, Ed was fairly calm, only twitching every so often or pausing to take a deep shuddering breath. Eyelids did not flicker as was a usual sign of a person dreaming, nor did his face reveal anything. His body was limp and unimposing, spread carefully on the mattress.

In the outer rooms, Alphonse could hear the opening and closing of the front door and loud voices, one he was pretty sure called his name, but it all seemed so distant. All Alphonse could think about was how alone Edward was right now. His mind was worlds away, being invaded and consumed by information that would have driven a lesser man insane. And it had before. The Truth was not something to be taken lightly. It was everything, the all, the one, the world, the universe, and everything that inhabited the plane of existence.

And at that very moment, Alphonse's elder brother was being drowned in it.

Edward's body had been transformed maybe a month or so ago now. Just a month. Before that, he'd been malnourished and shot full of chemicals and strands of foreign DNA. The transformation Ed had gone through, whether he had realized it or not, had already put his system into shock. Within that turmoil of the initial transformation, his body had been craving calories and nutrients and energy to feed off of as it put everything into following out the orders of the newly integrated DNA. Then Ed had been suffering constriction of his shoulder and leg, put through removal surgery, and just experienced his second bout of automail surgery.

He had to have been hurting.

Al always hated that thought, that Ed was in pain.

Why did his brother have to push himself so hard? Why couldn't he just lay back and relax for once and take things slow?

Sighing slightly, Al shook his head at his own silly questions. He already knew these answers. Ed was a man of action. The chimera hated to sit around and do nothing, he hated to waste time. Ed didn't have the patience to deal with that.

Pressing his lips in a straight line, Al scooted his chair closer to the cot before reaching out to grab Ed's clammy flesh hand. Eyelids twitched slightly at the contact before settling once more. The caramel brunette followed the movement carefully with gray eyes, before sweeping over the rest of his brother's body.

Normally healthy tan skin was paled and shined with perspiration. Scars from battles of every sort played across Ed's skin in a cacophany of criss crosses. Red irritated flesh framed the new automail ports attached to the incapacitated young man's shoulder and leg.

Not a whisper had passed those lips once during the painful surgery. Not a hint of the electrifying pain Alphonse was sure his brother had felt had been shown. Was it conceited to think Ed did all that for him? To cover his pain and scars so Al wouldn't have to worry or think about it? It probably was a little presumptuous to think such a thing, but a long time ago, when they were just kids and mom had just died, Al knew that was part of the reason.

No tears had passed gold orbs that dark day that Trisha Elric was lowered into the cold unforgiving ground. No noise of pain or protest breached Edward's walls as earth began to cover a casket holding the woman who gave birth to him and his brother. Nothing was there to show Edward's grief but glaring gold eyes that none could stare at for more than a moment before the overwhelming emotion there forced them to look away.

There had been whispers at first in the funeral crowd, shifts in the throng of black garments as a person sought to see the newly orphaned Elric boys. Most of the townspeople had been friends with the Elric family, and they all had at least known soft and caring Trisha, shy and friendly Alphonse, and stubborn lively Edward. Both had to be devastated at losing their mother, and they both were, but whispers in the crush of mourners told otherwise. Perhaps it was a little cruel to think such things, but villagers couldn't help it when they saw broken defeated sobbing Alphonse curled on the ground before his mother's grave, and then stoic Edward standing just beside him, hand resting lightly on the younger's head in a small display of comfort. How could Edward be so calm, so collected when the woman who'd supported he and his younger brother all their lives had just passed away? Why was he not on the ground beside Al sobbing his eyes out?

Folks wondered that until they caught a glimpse of stony gold eyes. Desperation, agony, hurt, confusion, loss, hopelessness- it was far too overwhelming to look into the young boy's eyes for more than a moment lest the depths of emotion there suck you in.

And when Al had turned to him, Edward had already begun building up walls to block off his emotions, all this pain and suffering his body trembled with was hidden away so all Al would see was a muted pain as Ed suggested the forbidden and promised to take care of Alphonse and protect him and that things would turn out okay.

No, it wasn't conceited to think Ed hid his hurt for the sake of others. Not at all.

That however had nothing to do with the immense reservoirs of strength it must have taken to refrain from breaking down, to still manage to comfort Alphonse in that horribly bleak time before Edward gave them a purpose again. Originally, they had set themselves to making their mother happy, thus leading to them delving into alchemy. But without her, what was the point?

Learning enough to bring her back.

They may not have managed to bring her back, but they learned more on alchemy than they could ever have hoped for beforehand. It became more than a hobby to bring a smile to a loved one's face. It became deeper, a connection to the art of matter that drew the two boys to alchemy as they learned and researched. It was a given that sort of thing would happen from the moment Edward stumbled upon the dusty tome of beginner's alchemy in Hoenhiem's study and began to read it. Alchemy was almost like a drug. An addiction. You don't just 'try' alchemy. It becomes a part of you. An alchemist can never stop being an alchemist, no matter what they tell themselves. Because being an alchemist takes you one step closer to the truth. Of life, of existence, of everything around you. And you can't go back after that.

Some people, lesser men, would have blamed the failed attempt at Human Transmutation on alchemy, and hated the science, but Edward and Alphonse knew better. They had made the mistake. And alchemy could be used to fix it.

Alchemy. It let Ed become a State Alchemist, where he gained even more friends to be coveted in the farthest reaches of his mind, hidden from view. More people that would worry over him, so it became even more pertinent that he fortify walls to block out the pain.

Pain of causing so much suffering to those around him and those dearest.

Alphonse wished Ed would just let them help. Let them see his hurt so they could attempt to soothe it, if only slightly. The likelihood of that though was little to none.

Al sighed slightly, deciding it would probably be better not to think. Those memories were painful still, with a frightening intensity he didn't want to deal with right now. Bringing himself from his musings, Al realized he'd been staring at his brother's bare abs, yet again. This new habit was a little worrisome, but could he help it if Ed had a body of a god? Now if only he could figure out where that analogy came from-

"Alphonse," a soft voice came from the door, feminine and familiar, slightly hesitant at intruding. Winry. "Mustang and and rest have stopped by. They'd like to know how Ed's doing. I'm sure you could explain what is going on better than I could."

There was a pause, where Al did not look away from his brother to meet her eyes, and her worried blue ones remained fixated on Alphonse.

"Al, you've been in here all day. You haven't eaten, you haven't spoken to anyone. I know you're worried about Ed, but he'll be alright. He managed perfectly fine last time, he'll be fine this time too. He wouldn't be happy to recover and find out you made yourself sick by not caring about your own body while worrying over him. C'mon, I have dinner made."

Al didn't move for a moment before plastering an obviously fake smile on his face that was dragged down by tiredness and sorry. "Okay Win, I'll be out in a moment."

"Alright Al," the lemon blonde replied carefully, still eying the boy before promptly exiting, shutting the door softly behind her.

After a tight squeeze of his hand, Al reluctantly removed his hand from Edward's, almost immediately missing the soft buzz Ed's touch brought to his skin. Rising from his chair, Al stared for a moment at the door before looking once more at the blank uncreased face of his elder brother. Gingerly he reached out and moved some of the damp strands from Ed's forehead, licking his lips almost unconsciously. Seeing the his brother like this hurt, but it occurred to Alphonse that he wouldn't have Ed any other way than what he was. He loved his brother for all his perfections and faults, no matter what they were.

On impulse, Al leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on his brother's lips before it even registered that he'd down such a thing.

Al would not remember until late that night as he was about to fall asleep that he had kissed Edward on the lips. His face would flush deep crimson rivaling Ed's favored jacket, cover his mouth with his hand in embarrassment, and contemplate on the delighted euphoria that erupted in his system at that thought while tracing tingling lips and wondering why he suddenly felt so hot.

* * *

The first stage of Edward's fever had finally passed, but no one could quite decide which phase was worse. The stage where Ed had been practically comatose, unable to respond or was simply not there too respond, or the stage where he thrashed in his bed, lashing out at invisible threats that haunted him, and sobbing quietly his guilt and sorrow that was long hidden to the world.

Not that anyone really knew about the second stage of the fever. They had heard the occasional outburst from the back room, a thick raw voice crying out varying things, all incomprehensible from the distance, but it was always clear that it was the voice of a broken man. Agonized and grief stricken screaming their pain for all to hear.

What always struck those who were not allowed behind those doors the most though were the tears they could hear in that strained voice, usually calling one name in particular, laden with desperate anguish that made them all pause and cringe at the possible nightmares the speaker was facing.

No one was allowed in though, except Alphonse and Winry. As his automail engineer, she needed to be there to make sure no wounds opened and he to assess whether the automail needed to be removed or not. She was also responsible for ensuring his fever remained manageable until it broke and he would begin recovery. Alphonse was there to help ground Ed as best he could. That, and he could hardly separate himself from the chimera's side at the thought of Ed in pain.

It was maybe a week into Ed's fever, close to breaking now, meaning it was halfway through. Mustang, one of his team members, or all of them made sure to check in each day to update the others and see if there was anything they could do to help. Izumi had originally planned this to be a small trip, but due to a change of expected circumstances, she decided she wanted to wait Ed's fever out and be sure her ex-student was well on his way to recovery before departing. Unfortunately, someone needed to be back in Dublith to man the butcher shop, so after a few days, Sig agreed to go back, as long as he was kept informed.

It was early morning and Alphonse was already up and at his brother's side. Winry was taking a well deserved break and sleeping in that morning, and Izumi had left to go restock the Elric house food stores.

Alphonse sat quietly at Edward's bedside, grasping his brother's hand lightly and stroking it absently with his thumb for a number of reasons now. Ever since he had,well, kissed Ed about a week ago, he'd been a little out of it. Now, his mind was juggling his worry for Ed's well-being and condition with curiosity over the way his brother affected him. Al distantly felt guilty about not being completely devoted to getting his brother recovered as quickly as possible, but these foreign thoughts were just so consuming and distracting.

Was there something more to Al's urge to snuggle up to his brother at night after a nightmare? Was there another, deeper reason that Al wished he hadn't moved into his own room? Was there some hidden meaning to his constant want to feel his brother's calloused hands and intoxication with Ed's scent if he let his mind drift away? Alphonse Elric was beginning to think that yes, there was.

It was disturbing to Alphonse, to realize what may be the real reason behind many of his actions over the years, and most importantly, since receiving his body back, but there wasn't any real way for Al to deny it as he wasn't sure if it was true or not. Al wasn't completely ignorant to the functioning of a human body, and was aware that the pooling of heat in his groin and stiffening of private parts was a clear indication of arousal in a human male. Just the thought of it flushed his cheeks dark cherry in embarrassment to have even considered such things in the first place.

As silly as it was, or maybe not so silly, Al wanted someone to talk to about this. Someone to help explain to him what exactly he was supposed to do about such arousal or physical reactions. In the early months, Al had just been so wrapped up in the wonder of the world, the comfort of feeling his brother beside him, the simple delights human senses could bring that something as trivial as sexual needs escaped him. Even later on, when his active hormones decided to strike, most times in the early evening as he prepared for bed, he tentatively ignored it, confused about his body reacting that way to wayward evening contemplations. At the time, he'd felt far too embarrassed to approach his big brother about it, unsure whether it was normal or not. Since that time, he'd made a few stops to the library to check out books on the human body to refresh his vague memories of early studies on the human anatomy, and found that yes, this was a natural reaction in ones body to sexual desire and excitement.

Until recently though, he hadn't quite made the connection of that reaction with his brother.

Now, considering it was because of his brother he was experiencing some rather awkward uncomfortable circumstances at some inopportune moments that Al thought he did wonderfully in hiding or at least ignoring those hormones and suppressing them, how was he to go about approaching Ed for an explanation, if the older even had one.

To talk to Ed about the changing emotions towards Edward that he felt and the way he was reacting more often that not made Al physically cringe and want to run away.

What if Ed was disgusted with Al for having such a fixation with him? What if his older brother rejected him upon finding out that part of the reason his little brother was so clingy may be because Al wasn't having very platonic feelings towards him?

Laughing quietly to himself, Al realized how silly they both were. Ed had been scared to tell Alphonse that he was a chimera for this exact same reason. The innate fear of rejection that neither could quite get over due to the guilty conscious they both appeared to share, though Al's never got a chance to exercise itself with Ed's hogging all the guilt.

Alphonse felt the bursting, unrelenting need for solace, for understanding and explanations, and just could not bring himself to ask Ed yet, especially not when Ed was already under so much stress. Besides, even if Alphonse had tried, he would have just made it even more awkward, flushing and sputtering, in an attempt to explain until he finally retreated leaving Ed confused and worried. Nope, that would not do at all.

But neither would these increasing bouts of hormonal frustration.

Biting his lip helplessly, Al stared at Ed's sleeping face, noticing the slightly pinched expression marring the former blonde's face and the thicker layer of sweat than had coated Ed a week ago. Really, he shouldn't be thinking of this right now. It did no good to contemplate it, especially when he had no answers. Al would have considered it a blessing that he never experienced these uncomfortable bodily reactions during the day because they never really occurred to him when he was actually up and about, well, if he believed in god.

Deciding that he did not want to think about all of this right now, Alphonse tucked the thoughts away and ignored them. Now he noticed Ed's face becoming more and more pained. A pinched, strained expression curling his face in quiet torture.

Almost immediately, Alphonse had relocated to hover over the semi blonde, one hand trying to smooth Edward's brow, if only a little, the other grasping at Ed's flesh hand, which tightened to a vice grip upon coming in contact with another. Al began muttering words of soothing, hoping to lull his elder brother back into rest, but it would seem not.

Yet again, Edward had been roused by a memory, a thought, an insecurity twisted and extrapolated upon. And it numbed Alphonse's entire being to hear the desperate murmmerings pouring from those tan lips.

"You hate me, don't you." It wasn't so much a question as a statement, rough and hopeless in tone, like that of a man with the noose being knotted around his throat. Golden eyes were unsteady, mere slits staring desolately up at Alphonse, aware of his presence, but not really. It was that look though, that tone, that made Al feel as if he'd been struck brutally and wrongfully, just as it had every other time in the past week. That terrible broken soul he saw before him, the unguarded, confusedly dazed Edward that lay on this bed was his brother on the deepest level with all his hidden fears and pain laid bare to see. This was why the others were kept out of this room, so to preserve at least some of Ed's privacy, but not all of it could be spared.

"No, Ed, that's not-" Alphonse began quickly, fighting past the tightness of his throat and shortness of breath that had beset him, but apparently not quick enough.

"Of course you hate me. Anyone would, for what I've done to you. I'm so sorry Alphonse. I'm so, so sorry," Edward lamented, still quiet, but the tormented desperation thrumming in those words was like thunder to Alphonse's ears. "I took everything from you. I was so stupid. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be trapped in that armor."

No, no, no. Al didn't like this delusion. He was fine, he was flesh, he was whole, why was his brother still blaming himself for this? He wasn't cold or unfeeling, he was warm and human. Ed shouldn't have to be taunted by these visions of the past. He never blamed Edward for the incident, not once, because who could really blame the boy that let his arm be torn off in a desperate attempt to get back his little brother?

Just like every other time Al had born witness to one of Ed's fever induced episodes, his mind shut down, knowing he could never understand this pain Edward was feeling, and he hated to admit it, but he didn't want to. The raw, festering emotions that were clinging to his brother were just too intense. Al didn't want to understand this pain that Ed felt. To understand it would be to feel it, and that would mean losing his older brother. Al never wanted that. Ever.

This episode was going exactly the same as the others when Ed had roused himself and been trapped in a horrible visage of Alphonse still housed in a slab of metal only something went differently.

Something that cemented Al to his spot leaning over Ed, turned his veins to ice, and left an empty, empty feeling inside him.

"I killed you."

So much anguish and loss riddled these words it physically hurt Alphonse to hear them spoken. But this was a new horror he felt spreading through his body. Still meeting Ed's hazed eyes, there was so much self loathing and regret there that became clear to him.

Al had known for a long time now that Ed often blamed himself for what happened that night with the transmutation that rendered Al a soul in armor, as Alphonse blamed himself at times. Their reasons though were different, both were self depreciating and painful. This though was a a new reason to Al.

"Edward," Al breathed, a feeble whisper nearly covered by the beginning sobs. Ed had believed that all this time and never said a word? Of course not, this was Ed, but still, Alphonse would never have guessed Ed felt that way. "Brother, you didn't- you didn't kill me," Al's desperate plea sounded, still weak with the guilt and trepidation wrought by those three words.

Three words that held far more emotion than Al felt comfortable with. All this time, all these hard long years, Ed had been carrying this burden of guilt far greater than any of them had believed. All this time, and none of them had ever known or even conceived the idea that Edward would go so far as to think this. Day in, day out, this must have been clawing him apart, and Al had to wonder how Ed had managed through it.

Edward's entire life was devoted to his family, his little brother. He let himself suffer so much pain for Al's sake, sheltered and steered the boy, and the whole time, he had been struggling with the cold conviction he had stolen away the life of the person who meant the most to him.

Sparce tears slid from golden eyes down sickly pale cheeks, mixing with sweat and soaking loose hair and sheets.

Al knew he himself was now crying with his brother laying below his hunched form, but couldn't bring himself to care. He would do his best to share this pain, ease this burden. Anything to fix this mistake that was anyone's but Ed's.

"I killed you, and I don't think I'll ever be sorrier for anything in my life than that," Edward said softly, voice firmer still, but lost in emotional turmoil, eyes more awake than they'd been for a week, but addled with things that Al couldn't make out beyond shattered hurt.

"No you didn't," Alphonse resisted, unable to formulate a proper reply, suddenly bogged down with the same distress as his brother. This stress was just too much for Al to handle complacently. "Brother, you didn't kill me. I'm right here, I'm not dead, you didn't-"Alphonse choked on a sob, and snuggled into his brother's side, unable to express the words he needed to. Wrapping his arms around Ed's neck, he clung tightly to the chimera, forcing out denials past the despair he felt for his brother whenever he could, only a little aware of the the arm that in turn wrapped itself around him to keep him close.

Later when Alphonse awoke, he found his vision blocked by gold, black, and pale tan. Wondering dazedly how that happened, he pulled himself into a sitting position, noting belatedly the arm locked around him. Looking around for what could have woken him, he came face to face with a concerned Winry, and occurrence becoming far too common.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly with on hand, he repressed a yawn while gathering his wits.

"Winry?" Al spoke softly, her name a question, curious as to her presence.

"Al, are you alright?" She spoke just as quietly, her troubled sapphire eyes searching his face, and making Alphonse struggle towards consciousness all the more. The fuzzed out world was restoring around the centerpiece of a blonde friend who remained staring intently at him. All his struggling was outdone by the sudden snap to attention her next words brought. "You have tear tracks on your face and your eyes are red. What happened Al?"

It came rushing back to Alphonse in a snap, like being drop kicked by Izumi Curtis. A headache was forming and his guts ached uncomfortably, both hungry for nourishment and too upset to work. Swallowing thickly, the last tendrils of sleepy bliss evaporated from Alphonse's mind, leaving him with a cold hard truth he didn't want to think about.

"Alphonse, what happened?" Winry's reiterated question called his attention back to her, and he noticed her white knuckled grip on a wrench and worried frown. Without even thinking, he responded.

"He thinks he killed me," the candy brunette replied, gnawing lightly on his lower lip. Winry's look of sheer horror took a moment to kick in, but when it did, her hand flew to her mouth to stifle whatever noise she was about to make. Blinking back the renewed prickling, Al looked at Winry, and knew they were thinking the same thing. "All this time, he believed he killed me that night, and we never knew. I let him think that all those years."

Winry was still a few moments, obviously fighting away the emotions already high from stress that had just been riled up by another discovery. Taking one hand from her tight grip on her wrench, she reached out and gently pried Edward's arm off Al's middle, the pliant limb easily removed. Al, once more dazed by the thoughts brought on by Ed's words, was pulled up to stand by the lemon blonde, and led quietly from the room.

The house was empty, and vibrant oranges and reds filtered through the living room window panes, indicating evening. Izumi didn't seem to be around currently, and Al was fairly grateful for that fact.

Winry and he stood quietly in the middle of the living room for a few moments before the blonde girl embraced Alphonse tightly, hiding her face in his shoulder as he did to her when he returned the hug. Her arms were lithe but strong, body curved and flesh, unlike Ed who was firm and muscled, broad shouldered and coupled with a metal limbs. Alphonse was painfully aware that this wasn't his brother he was holding, and he wished it was, but this was okay. This was a shared pain between he and Winry, a sheer shock and befuddlement mixed with regret. He needed this embrace, this comfort.

Together, under sunset's rays, Alphonse and Winry cried for Edward's torment, wishing there was something more they could do.

* * *

**A/N: So, yeah, always love to hear what you folks think. It helps me keep going. But, I really need to start getting some stuff written for my other two stories, I know that fans of Return of the Forgotten are really wanting an update, and it warms my heart that people actually want updates that much. So gotta work on that, I'm reintegrating myself into gaiaonline, I'm transposing more music for my ocarina (yes, its a real instrument, and I actually play one), and schools tearing my apart, just got off from a week of testing. Life for once is really starting to crack down on me, so hey, try and bear with me a while longer. I'm trying guys, and I'll see if I can't make the next chapter extra long and extra good, hey?**

**Love all you guys, hope you liked~**


	11. Chapter 11

**I don't even... no, I can't say anything. I'm sorry about my muse up and dying and this taking so damn long. I'm gonna do my best to get chapters for my stories running whenever I can.**

**Suggestions and ideas are always appreciated and considered.**

**Warnings: Unbeta'd, Manga-verse/Post Promised Day, AU, Mature themes, cussing, slash. This chapter hads more explicit action than any previous, and a warning will be given before that segment for any who wish to skip.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.**

* * *

The first thing Edward became aware of was the muted noise surrounding him that should have been far louder than it was. It was like cotton was stuffed in his ears and his head shoved underwater to muffle the world. Next Ed recognized that there was bright light shining on him beyond closed eyelids, and lastly he realized just how dry and raw his throat and mouth were.

There was a lagging feeling pulsating slowly through his body, as if he'd been stagnating in one place for weeks and everything was trying to reboot at the same time. Slowly, as Ed lost the odd floating feeling of unconsciousness, he felt a wrenching pain burning from his shoulder and leg. A slow burn that seared his nerves when movement was made and crackled like lightening when jostled.

Odd, that was something he hadn't felt for years. Where was he anyhow?

It took a lot more effort than Ed though it should have to move. It was like he didn't fully have control over his body, like his spirit was displaced. Aggravated, Ed exerted more effort into opening his eyes or at least moving. This resulted in a slight twitch of his left hand, sending tremors up his arm, but was ignored. Starting small, he tried again, aiming to close his hand. His fingers twitched inward, weakly curling.

Feeling impatience well inside him, Ed pushed and lashed with all of his energy, which he found to be drastically low. Nerves resonated with slow burning fire, but it was ignored as Ed continued trying to gain some reaction from his body. It was too heavy though, like lead dropped in a lake, and he could feel himself sinking. Sinking back into the dark abyss and he tried to wrench back forth, but couldn't move at all. Just helplessly drown. The light began to be engulfed with shadows and Edward cursed inwardly, fighting more furiously to wake, to move, to clear his senses.

Creeping darkness that had been shutting out the light was suddenly chased away when something took hold of his hand. At the same time, something damp wiped his face, and a shiver made its way along his system before hyper-awareness struck like a snake. The hand holding his was soft and slightly bony, slender and firm. Alphonse. Heat and strange tingling sensations radiated into his hand from the simple contact, but it stirred him. He was lying on sheets on a mattress, soft and fresh. The only clothing he wore was boxers, unimposing and inoffensive to Ed's skin, and drops of cool water were on his face from being wiped off with a cloth.

Edward felt weak, but no longer tired, eager to rouse himself yet unable to do so. Nothing was responding, and his patience to go slow had run out. He tried to jerk his limbs, twist his body, curl his toes, tighten his fingers, anything. After a few minutes to no avail, Ed stopped his struggle as he felt fingers slip from his.

Panicked at the loss of touch, Ed focused and finally managed some result. Gold eyes flickered open meekly, searching for the one that should have been beside him holding his hand. Instead he found that source of warmth at the far end of the room near another. Color was blurred and meshed, making the figures indecipherable from the other, barely standing out from the dull wallpaper if not for their clothes, which added vague shape and color to their forms.

Something aggravated within him at the dulled vision, the thought of what is his being elsewhere than by his side, no less quite near another in his proximity sending a jolt of righteous fury through him. Instinct found reaction from his flesh far easier than his dull efforts and a low growl bubbled inside him, tearing out his throat quite literally and descending into a tired moan.

Instantly, the two figures, presences, beings, were at his side, one speaking in a happy relieved lilt, the other muttering softly and placing something cool and soothing on his forehead, before wiping his face off with it.

Slowly, his body began to respond to his demands, and fingers twitched, toes curled, and Ed became aware of the soreness his throat was now suffering from his vocal action as he reoriented into his body. It felt weird to have control or flesh, but that may have to do with whatever happened the last two weeks. The dark blurb of nothingness that pervaded his memory of that span of time and his difficulty recollecting were indicators he'd managed to miss something important.

Slowly, Ed blinked, and with that wink of darkness came painful vivid clarity that made his eyes burn and pupils narrow. Skin prickled oddly at regained sensation, and the pressure on his hand was back. Something warm and tingly and familiar gripped it. Glancing over Ed saw hands. Following them up, he saw a white button-up over a dark blue tank top, and above that was the grinning face of his little brother.

Edward offered the teary eyed Elric a small smirk of reassurance, before blinking slowly and tugging his hand away slightly. Once released, the hand went straight to Ed's throat, and a grimace ghosted the chimera's face.

"Oh, sorry Brother! Hold on," Alphonse responded quickly, his voice honey sweet to Ed's sensitized ears, even if it was several decibels louder than Ed was okay with. The world was too clear, too bright and real. Why? Everything looked amazing like this, so intense and intriguing, even if he didn't think it was supposed to be that way. Ed's gaze wondered across the ceiling over to the far wall to the rolling bedside table with bright silver equipments and a tub of water on it to the young woman at his bedside.

Something was brought to his lips, making gold eyes snap back over to Al, who was holding a cup of water with a straw in it to his mouth. Ed's arm twitched slightly, as if it had been trying to rise up to take hold of the glass for himself, but it was useless. Mentally sighing, Ed used the straw to drain the cup dry, relishing the cool liquid as it soothed his raw throat.

Releasing the straw, Ed licked any linger droplets from his lips, finding himself still thirsty, and began to have hunger pangs as well. But that was ignored when he noticed something he found odd. When he had licked his lips dry of water, his tongue had been rough. Really rough, or at least when compared to his own memory. Swiping the muscle on the roof of his mouth, it roughly scraped over the skin, only that skin seemed rougher now too. Frowning a little, he did so again, caught within his own little observations, oblivious to Al and Winry trying to catch his attention.

Curious, he folded his tongue to scrape itself and found his caught slightly, like sandpaper rubbing sandpaper.

Ed was whacked out of his contemplation by a sharp flick to his forehead which he felt was hurting more than it should and a small ache began to throb behind his eyes. Refocusing, he found both his brother and childhood friend leaning over him, intent on his face.

Irritated at the new throb in his head and being drawn away from his thought, he managed to rasp out an automatic, "What?"

Funny, when did his voice get deeper?

Winry looked more annoyed than worried, but Al was all smiles despite the anxiety shining through gray eyes.

"How are you feeling brother?" Al asked, his voice softer than it was earlier, yet still as enticing as ever, immediately making Ed's face relax from some of the irritation he felt.

"Not too bad," the elder Elric spoke roughly, still a little disconcerted by the change. "I can't quite remember what happened though. Why is my tongue really rough now?"

Alphonse's face immediately creased in confusion, but before he could start in, Winry cut him off.

"Don't worry, it'll come back to you Ed. You just a little disoriented I'd say. Well, it's good to see you actually conscious this time." Ed made little face at her, his question obvious, but unanswered. Sighing, Ed closed his eyes, feeling out his senses to try and readjust. Warm flesh was entangled once more with his hand, and Ed gripped it firmly, already knowing it was Al.

Breathing deeply through his nose, the scent of vanilla and fresh rain washed over him, welcoming and warm. But there was also sharp spice, the bitter smell of blood, and sweat. Funny, he knew that the vanilla was Al and the fresh dewy scent was from Winry, but the others, was that him?

Odd, why did he smell dried blood?

The subtle churning in his stomach intensified, craving sustenance it had been denied, and Ed grimaced, opening his eyes.

"Hey, can I get anything to eat?" Ed asked quietly, not liking that if he spoke louder, it felt like layers of skin were being peeled from his esophagus. Al nodded slightly, but before he could withdraw, Winry smiled happily at them and exited the room, presumably to fetch something to eat.

After a couple of moments of silence, Ed sent his little brother a weary smile, the ache of stiff and stressed muscles kicking in, ebbing on Ed's wakefulness. He went to reach up and brush some of the messy caramel bangs out of Al's eyes, but found his automail wasn't responding. Actually, his ports were roiling with pain and it didn't even feel like he had an arm connected. It took a moment, but Ed moved his stiff neck to loll his head to the side and saw red inflamed scar and stitches, shiny new metal and an empty socket, with loose reddened bandaging some place lower on his side.

Edward's face blanked, attempting to grasp this. It looked as if he'd just been through an automail surgery. And he had been. Switching his gaze slightly, he noticed where loose golden tresses should have been, there was inky black hair. Was that his?

Tightening his jaw and frowning, Ed began to attack his memory, but it remained adamantly blank.

"Al...what-?" Ed began, but didn't make it any further. What was he trying to ask anyways?

"You were turned into a chimera, Brother," came a moment later, in the sweet voice laced with concern.

Blinking slowly, Ed twisted his head back around to face his brother with blank eyes, uncomprehending and clueless. "What?"

Al frowned along with Edward, knowing that it was a rhetorical 'what' searching for a different answer. When Ed could find none though, he searched his body with his senses once more, this time paying closer attention. His ears didn't feel right, and he felt like there was an extra appendage branching off the base of his spine, and oh dear Gate, Al was telling the truth.

Truth...

Golden eyes grew wide for a moment, that one thought triggering an onslaught of the nightmares from not just the past two weeks, but since the beginning of this whole ordeal. Not nightmares, memories of reality and hallucination.

Damn disorientation.

Nearly blacking out at the attack on his mind, Ed's breath quickly became labored and his limbs quivered. Gold eyes blinked a few more times, and eventually seemed to light up again to find Alphonse once again hovering over him, looking about ready to descend into the same distraught state as Edward.

Gulping, Ed focused on his breathing, feeling the rhythm of his chest even out. It really is odd to completely forget about an experience, or in this case, the past month of his life, and then have it backhand you in the face.

"I'm fine Al, calm down," Ed breathed, closing his eyes to focus more on the information just loaded into his conscious. The past two weeks he just spent in a fever were indecipherable, with no imagery, but it made him feel hazy just thinking about them, with the emotional torture that dogged him every day of his life nipping at his veins. Great, he could already tell he'd be having nightmares about the past week.

"Brother?" Alphonse prodded quietly, unsettled by Ed's sudden silence.

"It's okay. Sorry," Ed whispered, opening his eyes again to again see concern bubbling within Al's eyes, but was overshadowed by joy at seeing his brother in better health again. But that didn't mean that insecurity, that anxious nagging thought that Edward could see, wasn't there. The dual toned teen was curious, but did not pry. Not yet at least.

* * *

Al quickly slipped into Winry's room once the go ahead had been called out and nervously shut the door behind him.

_I shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't be here, this shouldn't be necessary_, the list of thoughts went on and on as they scattered themselves all over Al's head, silencing other thoughts and making the already forming headache take hold of the younger Elric's mind. Wincing slightly at the forming throb permeating his skull, Alphonse made his way across Winry's room, face flushed crimson already just at anticipation of the coming conversation. Grey eyes fixated on the floor, the poor confused brunette sat himself on the blonde's bed, still not acknowledging her, and curled into a ball.

Trapped within the darkness of his arms and legs, he didn't see Winry's smile falter and drop at his distressed demeanor, the curiosity and worry alight sky bright sapphires, her body draped in a silky tank top and white sleep shorts as she shifted to put down the book she'd been reading. He did feel the soft hand on his shoulder and the other rubbing small circles into his back and heard the cooing comforting voice.

"Al, Alphonse, it's alright," the whispery voice intoned. "Whatever it is, it's alright. I wanna help Al, you just gotta talk to me, okay?"

The candy haired boy whimpered softly, but nodded awkwardly, still bent in on himself. Oh Gate, he felt like crying from the sheer embarrassment and insecurity and confusion. Al had read books that told him all about how when a teenager hits a certain age, they begin getting...urges. Al had read every text he could his hands on, but it was still so foreign and weird. He needed to talk to someone not only about these bodily issues, but also the emotional conundrum he was finding himself in.

"I kissed Ed."

The crimson Winry had seen on his face when the younger boy entered was nothing compared to the vibrant, near neon red mixed with purple that reached from his neck to ears to all over his face when it snapped up as abruptly as he'd spit out those words. Those three words that gave Winry a shocked pause.

Startled gray eyes stared at Winry as if she was the proverbial truck about to steamroll over the unsuspecting deer trapped on the pavement. The deer in this case was poor Alphonse.

Now, Winry knew quite well that Edward was not the most affectionate person in the world, or at least had extreme difficulty expressing his feelings to others. Alphonse on the other hand was open and boisterous with it. A kiss was an expression of said affection, although depending on placement of said kiss, it can indicate certain things like the platonic feelings attached, or not so platonic. Surmising from the disturbed look on the gentler Elric's face, he had not meant to admit that out loud. From these lightning fast thoughts, Winry could guess that Al had not kissed Ed in a 'manly, brotherly way'.

So, obviously, Winry would respond to Al horrified scared face with a logical, well thought out inquiry.

"Was it good?"

Al's eyes, which had already looked ready to fall out widened further and his jaw dropped to gape at the lemon haired young woman like a fish out of water. A very embarrassed, confused fish that is.

"Wh-what?" Al's voice was a shrill squeak, past the point of cracking and in Winry's eyes looked utterly adorable. Spreading a laughing grin across her face, Winry gave the quivering boy a bear hug. Pulling back, hands still on Al's shoulders, Winry could only grin foolishly at the boy.

"Calm down Al and talk to me, alright? You kissed Ed? On the lips?" Winry asked, her reaction apparently being far better than Al expected, thus calming him slightly. The nervous shivering went down a little and he nodded shyly, now shifting his eyes away to stare intently at the wall.

Yes, realization of what conversation Winry was about to have had set in easily. Truthfully, she wasn't all too surprised. In fact, she was rather happy about, despite a few old stings of hurt. Sure, at one point she may have had inkling romantic interest in not just the furious shrimp alchemist wonder, but also the metal man boy, but Winry had nipped it in the bud quickly. It wouldn't do to be fawning over her two best friends.

Letting out a nervous noise, Al fiddled with his hands for almost a minute before slumping and nodding slightly, less distressed thanks to Winry's easy acceptance of him, but embarrassed beyond all belief.

Unable to resist, the young woman let out a near maniacal giggle, and Al looked up quickly, eyebrows arched. He saw a lithe sturdy hand covering her mouth, suppressing the noise, but her azure eyes were full of some sort of twisted glee.

"Uh, Winry?"

"M' fine, Al," She mumbled around her hand, but more sniggering muddled the short response, and her eyes shut tight and she shuddered in mirth of some sort.

A sinking feeling in Al's chest made itself known just then. Was she laughing at him? This ordeal he was now saddled with? Indignant and hurt, he stifled a sob and moved to get up.

"W-wait, Al! Wh-what're you do-doing?" She cried, words still broken by erratic snickering, but she tackled his trembling form back down to the bed, wrapping her arms around him tightly to keep him in place.

"What am I doing? I'm leaving! You're laughing at me!" Alphonse cried out, seeing no other words as needed to explain his resentment. Liquid was massing in his eyes, but he steadfastly held it at bay.

"What? No, Al, I'm not laughing at you!" Winry responded, voice loud in surprise. "I'm laughing because- well, actually, if I tell you, you'll get more embarrassed- Hey, hey! It's nothing bad Al! Calm down and talk to me!"

He quit trying to pull away and looked at Winry, now reluctant, and resisting the urge to squirm away. Where her arms had been comforting moment before, they felt like acid now, solidified and trying to eat away at his skin. It burned like the disdain he felt for himself already was being reinforced by her trilling and it pounded around his head, screeching its disgust at him.

"Alphonse, what are you worried about?"

That innocent question made him snap, quite literally.

"What am I worried about? I'm worried about the fact that I kissed my brother. I'm worried about the fact I don't know what's going on with me when I start feeling all hot and bothered. I'm worried about the fact everything I've read has said this is wrong and unhealthy and damaging, but it doesn't change how I feel except make me feel dirty! I'm worried my brother will hate me and laugh at me and reject me and never want to see me again! That's what I'm worried about!"

Al was panting by the time he was done, then let out an odd noise and felt himself flush in embarrassment.

After a pause, Winry finally responded, "Well, that's one way to confess."

Al couldn't help but stare incredulously at the girl, his mouth gaping and eyebrows peaked in utter bewilderment at her reaction.

"What?"

"Shouldn't...shouldn't you be disgusted or something? Trying to rationalize this? Chide me? Something?"

"Oh Alphonse," the blonde sighed fondly, chuckling slightly and pulling him into a gentle hug, once more a comfort, but at the same time discomforting. She shouldn't be telling him this was okay. It was unnatural. She should be pushing him away in disgust. At least that's what the books indicated her reaction would be, but this was so accepting it just got him all turned around. "You should know better. Neither me or Ed would ever look down on you for anything, especially not something you can't control."

"But, the books said-"

"Forget what those stupid books said," Winry cut him off, eyes narrowing somewhat and lips pursing in dissatisfaction. Of course he'd be so distraught over the whole thing if he'd been completely unaware of anything to do with 'the talk' and was reading those books that were homophobic and hell-bent on saying anything but the 'norm' was wrong.

"Now, we're going to sit here like two civilized, cultured adults-but not-quite-cause-we're-teenagers and sort this issue out, okay?"

Al heaved a great sigh when he saw the pleasant excited look on her face and couldn't bring himself to say no.

"Okay," he said uncomfortably and pulled his body up onto the bed again and curled up, arms wrapped around his knees, but Winry was having none of it. She dragged the poor alchemist up to the headboard, where she made him relax into a cocoon of pillows and she snuggled up next to him.

Smiling brightly, she gave him the same look as she did earlier, when she burst into giggles, and suddenly Al felt he should be fearing for something else, but couldn't quite figure out what.

* * *

**(WARNING, WILD SLASH APPEARED.)**

After a long, long discussion with Winry that resulted in what they thought would be a permanent red pigment to his face, he withdrew back to his room, embarrassed beyond belief, relieved in an odd way, and anxious to an extreme.

His childhood friend had been kind enough to explain how the world usually viewed his affection, which would be 'incest', and Al was nearly as disgusted with himself as the other people of society, but Winry quickly drove that from his mind, insisting that there were instances where it actually worked, where siblings legitimately fell for each other, and she saw no problem with it herself. Well, actually, she admitted the idea made her a bit squeamish, since it usually didn't work out, but for Ed and Al, she just saw it as, hem, sexy. That comment had send Al into a spluttering blushing fit, and it got worse when she proceeded to describe a rather lewd scene to naive little Alphonse, who was still treated the whole thing as a foreign concept.

Then she'd tried to explain some of the male, ah, processes and reactions and so forth, but she couldn't really since she only had a vague idea herself of the more intimate workings of the male anatomy, and was rightfully embarrassed over the whole subject. A little ruefully she had told Al that he'd have to ask Edward to give him 'the talk'. Winry didn't explain what exactly that meant, but Al nodded nervously anyways.

After that though, Al had to redefine the meaning of 'embarrassed to the point of blood gushing from ears'. She'd started prodding him for all sorts of details, like what little gestures he'd taken to, how he felt when Ed was around him now, what kind of thoughts he had of his older brother, when had he started feeling this way, and all the mushy stuff that Al realized was unmanly but conceded to.

Tiredly, he trudged to his bed and flopped down; worn out from the emotional roller coaster he'd been putting himself through and the long discussion with his lemon blonde friend.

Breathing steadily, Alphonse slid gracelessly onto his bed, snuggling under the covers and curling into a ball, finally letting the exhaustion drag him into darkness.

Something creaked, and the boy's eyes shot wide open again. The room was still dark, but the windows above his bed had the drapes drawn, letting moonlight filter in, reflecting off dust motes and highlighting the floor in silver. The candy brunette sat up, still feeling groggy and wishing to sleep, but what he saw made him freeze.

Golden eyes were fixed on him, drawing his own like a moth to molten flames. Edward, dressed in nothing but his boxers was advancing on him, long golden tresses spilling onto his shoulders and smooth tanned skin shone.

Before Alphonse could even think, which he'd lost the capability of doing the moment he saw his enticing alluring elder brother swaggering forward like a hunter closing in on its prey, Ed had the younger of the two pinned beneath him, settled with Al's legs straddling his waist and his hands on either side of the younger's head.

Al could feel himself beginning to burn, to disintegrate to ashes as his body was lost in the fire held in the golden orbs boring into him with such intensity he couldn't resist squirming. Al's face was flushed, his breathing was becoming quick in excitement from Ed looming over him, and he was inexplicably 'turned on,' as Winry had phrased it when they had spoken.

A wan smile that radiated a sense of danger graced Edward's lips, and Al felt an urge to lean up and join those grinning lips with his own. Half mast gold examined his squirming form with a strange glint in his eyes that Alphonse tried to discern. It was a longing sort of look, mixed with a hunger, carnal and ravenous, with a possessive protective gleeful haze clouding Edward's luminous auriferous orbs.

Lust.

Realizing the distinct look permeated by every inch of toned, marless muscle and feature belonging to his brother, Al's breath became even shorter. The young brunette could feel his blood screaming through his veins, flushed with adrenaline and energy, ready for battle, but this was a different kind of fight, and one Al had no intentions of winning.

The fire he felt earlier was nothing compared to the all consuming heat that seared and scorched his lips when Edward swooped down to catch his own. A thrill of delight travelled down Alphosne's spine, and his already hardening member came to full salute, making his boxers seem unbearably restrictive, but his mind was nowhere near that right now. It was focused on the euphoria of lips molded against lips, halting his breath and enticing him to open his mouth when something wet trailed on his lower lip.

Opening his mouth to groan, something slid in and again breathing became a futile exercise while the twisting muscle invading plundered the hidden cavern like a treasure chest. The flavor of the intruder was foreign and enticing in an unexplainable way, and he reciprocated as best he could, unsure, but too lost to be conscious of his own actions.

Finally, he was parted from the sweet flavor and action, prompting Alphonse to moan wantonly in protest in the darkness. He half whimpered, half sigh, when wet kisses wer trailed along his jaw line, making it difficult to regain his already lost breath. Squirming again, he tried to reach up and grab Edward's face so he could once again taste those sweet, sweet lips, but almost instantly found his hands pinned above his head.

A growl, just as smothered in lust and want as Edward's earlier appearance jolted the boy that had reverted to squirming unhappily, craving more contact and attention. The younger alchemist snapped his eyes open, just realizing they'd slid shut at some point.

Hovering above his face, without the same blazing look permeating golden eyes, was Edward, looking down with a slightly agape mouth, features slightly damp, a few sweat droplets rolling down his face. Molten eyes were now turbulent with an internal tempest of conflict, a look Al has seen oft, but there was something tender and broken pervading the look now.

"Ed?" Al breathed lightly, still dazed from the heated actions he'd just undergone with his elder, still now aware enough to curl up in embarrassment, but enough that he could tell something was wrong.

Especially since the grinding and kissing had stopped, and Alphonse was becoming painfully aware of the object straining inside the confines of his clothing. Whining a little, he rolled his hip up, hoping to restart the contact, but within seconds, his hips were pressed hard into the mattress by a cold, metal appendage that wasn't there before. Shocked by the icy touch, Al jumped, but was still restrained to the mattress. Eyes jerked up to look at his brother, and found something strange.

Rather than the flesh that had been entrapping his head earlier, Edward's right arm was made of a smooth shiny alloy, bolted into his collarbone and reddish stretched flesh lined the connection to his ribcage.

A chill worked its way from his restrained hips, making the boy shudder and close his eyes for a short moment, enjoying the odd thrill the cold gave him. But Al was even more confused when he opened his eyes again.

Gold roots faded into an inky consuming black, curtaining around his elder brother's face. Sharp teeth now glinted from pale light, revealed by Edward's open, slow panting mouth. Popping up from the sides of the sheet of mixed gold and black were matching two toned lion ears, and something furry ran the length of his leg, tickling him in a distracting alluring manner.

Hadn't his brother looked different moments ago?

Staring seriously down into Alphonse's eyes, Edward's lips formed a frown and something strange registered.

"Can you love me when I look like this?"

Ed's pupils were slits in gold and something, something, inside of him was writhing in a frenzy, confused and caught off guard by the question. What was that supposed to mean, he looked like Edward-

Thought fizzled out once more when a slick tongue pried his mouth open once more and delved in. Alphonse went weak, feeling the Ed's hunger as the Fullmetal Alchemist ravaged his little brother's mouth and thrust their hips together roughly, making the Al moan into the kiss at the sudden friction.

A deep, dark, menacing sound snarled into his ears and Al's breath hitched.

"_**Can you?**_"

Gasping for breath, the sweaty disheveled teen bolted upright on his bed, grey eyes frantically wide and chest heaving as he gulped down air. Frowning, he became aware of multiple things at once. No, his brother was not in the room with him. Yes, he missed that heat and passion, even if it was the fictional creations of his own mind to sate the carnal desires emerging within the boy's body and mind. No, he did not get what the heck was up with dream Ed. And yes, he had a prominent tent in his pajama pants under warm covers.

Flopping back on his bed, still breathless, Al could only stare at his ceiling and think '_What was _that_ all about?_'

* * *

**A/N: Well then. This was the third attempt I've ever done at a slashy scene, hopefully it has gone well. And more obviously, this was Al's first wet dream. Ha. Poor Al.**

**Anyways, after this point, plot can start to pick up with Ed's recovery, getting back on that case, and more problems for the Elric duo~**

**Reviews are luff, and again, I apologize for the long wait. Hopefully that won't happen again.**


	12. Author's Note

Pffft, wow. I just received my first hate review. I'm not sure whether to laugh or tell everyone I know. The funny thing? I don't event think its the Elricest that 'ruined the stiry.' Whatever 'ut' was, I laugh at you pathetic anon who doesn't even have the balls to log in and troll under your own account. Should I be more insulted that they didn't have the courtesy to log in and insult me poorly, or that they misspelled story and it? Normally I wouldn't feel the need to point this out and be a little vindictive, but hey, you wanna take a jab at me, I'll jab back. That and I'm really sick right now.

**So yeah, it may take a week or two but I've finally got my muse back and chapter 12 should be here soon! I'm sorry for the wait guys, RL is killer, I can't understand Spanish even though I've been learning for years now, and I need to finish a Psychology paper while nauseous. So yeah, I'll have something nice for you soon guys~ ^^ Wanted to let you all know.**


	13. Chapter 12

**Okay then, finally got this one done. Know it's kinda slow and seems filler-ish, but it kicks off for future events and prompts towards somethings that will be happening.**

**And just as a note, this may be a slash fiction, but it's also meant to be a story, with plot and substance and character. so if anyone is here thinking 'get on with the sex' it's not gonna happen. This is paced and long and slow and exactly how I want it. I am ecstatic anytime I see a review from people who personally dislikes Elricest, because they've forced their way past that to read this fic. I know how hard it gets. Especially when you really, really hate a pairing. I know. So yeah, I guess this is my usual thing reminding people I'm not diving into anything and that I appreciate the support from people so much.**

**...I think more of my usual snark has worked its way into the narration... crap.**

**Suggestions and ideas are always appreciated and considered.**

**Warnings: Unbeta'd, Manga-verse/Post Promised Day, AU, Mature themes, cussing, slash. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.**

* * *

'_Well, this is new_,' Ed mused, gold eyes casting to the side to glimpse Winry carefully constructing his automail limbs while muttering quietly to herself. This in itself was no new thing, but her chosen location was an anomaly in Ed's observations.

Now see, normally she'd have a desk with a canvas tarp spread out, metal joints and plates and screws strewn everywhere with meticulously written little labels attached and sketched designs littering the floor around where she sat.

It wasn't that the mechanic was missing any of these important materials, but her choice of location.

"I thought you didn't like me hovering over your shoulder when you're working," Ed grumbled, lips tugging down in a distasteful expression.

"No, I don't, but you're not hovering right now, Ed," Winry replied flippantly, still working away on constructing the new skeleton of his arm. Since she was rooming with the Elric brothers for free and Ed had another week of bed rest, as per her own orders, there was no rush.

Ed grimaced and dropped back onto his mattress gracelessly, feeling utterly bored. Bored. Bored bored bored-

"Gah, Ed! Stop fidgeting!" The blonde was quick to yell, making Ed wince slightly at the decibel and his ears folded down against the side of his head in disgruntlement and he sighed piteously.

"Why? It shouldn't even bother you!"

"You keep twitching in my peripheral vision, and it's making me anxious too, now quit it!" The warning came with a wrench waving under his nose, and the chimera found his hackles raising, not quite appreciating being threatened in a less than stellar condition. Unconsciously, lips curled and teeth bared, he narrowed his eyes at the girl, but abruptly stopped when she recoiled from his immediate vicinity.

There was a moment of awkward silence before Ed groaned and let his face fall in his hand, grimacing at himself.

'_Smooth_,' he snarled internally, feeling the roiling of his bitter feelings towards the cautious treatment he'd been given as of late, and guilt at the fact he'd just scared his best friend. Only that guilt was quickly counter acted by a certain gut twisting realization that Winry had to actually believe he was do something like attack her to make her cringe away from him like that when he fucking crippled on a bed.

Clutching his temple tightly he shook his head, reminding himself that it was human instinct. Winry had been doing really well, all things considered, but if he acts like a vicious lion intent on tearing out her eyes for annoying him with their peppy shade of blue Al was always complimenting, then he'd be treated like a grumpy murderous jealous lion. Wait, that came out wrong.

"Can I just go lay on the couch or something? It's still resting," Ed muttered, not quite succeeding in eliminating all the strain from his voice. This entire situation was putting him on edge, and all of a sudden Winry's presence was nerve wracking and pressuring instead of friendly and companionable. His skin itched and his instincts that said to run, to get away, were kicking in.

This was absolutely nuts.

Digging his claws into his scalp, Ed tried to focus on the sharp pressure to get his head back on. He was spazzing out way too much and far too often. He needed a grip on his erratic reactions, but he just wasn't able to handle it all yet. Still, panic was inkling into the chimera's head and adrenaline burst through his veins. As soon as she'd threatened him, he'd known, all he needed to do was lunge at the stupid bitch and rip out her throat and she'd never do it again, but it freaked the fuck out of him that he'd even thought that and what was wrong with him! Oh, that's right; he was a monstrosity in human skin. Hadn't he always been? No, no, of course not. But what do you call someone who murders their-

No. Nope. No no no.

Forcing a deep breath through strained lungs that wanted to go into hyper drive and beat against aching ribs, Edward slowly lifted his head and chanced a look at Winry. There was a conflicted, hesitant look on her face, and the older teen hated it. Hated that he put that there.

The look was gone in a moment though, replaced with a sharp determination, making Ed want to quirk an eyebrow in question.

"No, I said bed rest and I mean bed rest. I don't care how much you don't want to lie around, so cut the stupid aggressive act or I really will brain you with this wrench, Edward Elric."

Golden orb widened a little, staring at that statement. Was she seriously letting this off so easily?

Ed felt his breath leave him in a soft sigh, and a feeling of gratitude softened him a little, soothing away the hostility. Winry was trying, as difficult as it was. She was trying hard, and there was no resentment in clear blue eyes. Honestly, it wasn't too unusual for him to snarl at her waving heavy metal around his face, but with the guttural growl of a predatory feline with dangerous fangs, she was having a hard time holding back a fearful reaction.

Ugh, thinking about this made his head ache. He didn't like the conflicting feelings and his receptiveness was acting up again he thought.

"Ed, if you want something to do, why not this," Winry stated more than asked, shuffling around her papers for a moment only to come away with a frayed composition book with covers bent and an oil stain on the lower left hand side. The booklet and a pen were shoved in front of him, and he automatically grabbed the visual obstruction, only to find Winry had darted back to her seat, and was once again, intent on her work.

Rolling his eyes slightly at the girl's abrupt manner, Ed restrained from commenting on the frustrated red hue visible on her cheeks, curiosity overwhelming his need to make snarky unnecessary comments.

Flipping open the notebook, Ed narrowed his eyes in confusion. Why the hell would Win give him one of her automail sketching books to 'work on?'

Going further, scanning each page quickly, easily taking in the designs and information thanks to the non-coded notes, Ed paused around the middle, just before the drawings went to blank pages. The top was marked with the words 'pressure plates.'

First, perhaps, it would be good to review some of the basics of automail. As much as Ed ignored and complained, he did learn a thing or two about automail, especially considering he had two limbs of the stuff. He just never bothered to understand a whole lot about it. Still, he knew the needed essentials.

At the base of every automail appendage was the skeleton, made of piping reminiscent of bones, each connected with gyrating joints to allow full motor function and movement. Over top and inside of the sturdy base are the nerve receptors that pick up electric pulses instructing the would-be limb to move along with the main motor cables. Outside was then the exo-skeleton, what one actually saw when looking at automail. Actually pretty basic concept with three main parts.

The interesting thing about automail is that it's not just a cold unfeeling limb, or at least it has the potential not to be. One of the amazing things about Rockbell automail was the pressure plates. Regular pressure plates were built in to the exo-skeleton with certain choice cables attached and hooked up to special receptors on the connection plate in the base. When pressure was put on the plates, the attached cord was set up to pinch in a way that caused pressure to be translated back to the connection plate which then recycled residual nerve impulses to send one to the brain that indicated there was pressure. The only problem was it was very dull, and was more like a mockery of feeling than anything else, but was immensely helpful to automail users in adjusting to their new limbs and learning to gauge how they could hold things or touch stuff. The special thing about the Rockbell automail was that the pinch method was trashed and the use of micro vibrations was implemented. Ed had only heard about the pinch pressure method, but he was pretty sure it wasn't as sensitive as the vibration method Pinako's father had discovered a long time ago. It was a family secret to the mechanic family.

Ed found the fact the metal could translate pressure at all intriguing and ingenious, but was not about to say so to anyone. Still, glancing over the notes, he found his eyebrows rising steadily at each concept sketched or jotted down pertaining to different ways the pressure plates could be advanced or used or limited, but most were dead ends. Still, it took a lot of thought to come up with things like this, to figure possible ways to use the pressure plates. Winry knew her stuff, but apparently still wasn't able to upgrade the way automail received sensation the way she wanted.

Feeling an odd jolt, Ed's eyes snapped up to glance at the girl. She wanted his help. But he didn't know automail intimately enough to gauge whether an idea was plausible, whether this could connect or receive of transmit like this or not. That didn't stop a hungry mind from stirring though.

It was something different and Winry was asking for his assistance, even if he wasn't nearly as knowledgeable in mechanics as she, but Ed did know his anatomy. He knew the human body inside and out, maybe that was why.

Either way, his thoughts were already on auto fire, jotting down notes over top of hers and beside the sketches, letting himself dissolve into the proffered distraction for everything else.

It was minutes, maybe hours, later that the quiet of the room was broken by something other than pen scratching on paper or metal being jostled.

In walked the Flame Alchemist, decked in his usual military attire, only to be greeted by an odd sight.

One was Winry willingly working on automail in the same room as Edward, or at least anything less than a room length away from the fidgety Brigadier General. Two was that Fullmetal was not twitching and squirming, but sitting there, dead silent, writing madly with his left hand in some notebook held precariously on his leg.

Well, perhaps the second was not so strange, as it was just the circumstances Edward was under and he was still sitting there, taking notes on something.

If the boy wanted to write so much, then Mustang had an idea as to a better way to expend Ed's energy than on some notes. Perhaps filling out the bundle of paperwork he had with him? Yes, that would do.

The ravenette strode over to the end of the bed and let the tied stack drop on the mattress, allowing a smirk at how Fullmetal jumped, nearly marking straight across the page the boy was working on in surprise.

"Motherfucker! Mustang, what the hell!" Edward snapped, lips curled back slightly, eyebrows furrowed, and an overall vaguely deranged look on his face. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

"Oh, just thought it'd be easier to get your attention this way," the man replied, already untying the string holding the paperwork in order. "I have some papers that need filled out and read, for a few different purposes."

Ed opened his mouth to protest when Mustang suddenly straightened up and locked eyes on his, interrupting him.

"Report."

Ah. Oral report time.

"Mustang, do we have to do th-"

"Report. Now."

"I'm not do-"

"Fullmetal. Report. _Now._"

By the Gate, he hated standard procedure. Even more, he hated how Mustang stuck to said procedure. Every time Ed had to come in to hand in a report, an oral report was due alongside it. And every time, Mustang would refuse to listen or let him leave until Ed spoke to him 'properly.'

Groaning, Ed ran his hand over his face before shoving himself up so he could sit up straight. Returning the look with agitated molten eyes, he flicked his tail in annoyance and started off, sans salute. He didn't have his right hand right now, sorry Roy McBitchface. Standard procedure can go choke on a coconut for all Ed cared. He was recovering from surgery for fuck's sake.

"General Mustang, sir. Edward Elric, codename Fullmetal, reporting. I retrieved the mission case file from your office on August 15th and left Central with a lead the next day with Alphonse accompanying me."

It was okay (as far as Ed was concerned) to leave out the stupid strict military diction and specifics like 'at 0900 hours' or case and file number such and such for the oral report. And sometimes on the written. But then he got bitched at and had to rewrite it. As long as Mustang got the gist of what Ed meant from word of mouth, then it didn't matter if he was totally perfect about oration. Then again, Ed was completely sure Mustang was just making sure he didn't waste his few chances to make the chimera teen call him 'sir.' Egotistical ass.

"After a visit to West City to confirm the lead and double check information turned in with the case, we headed further West to Esthel where the disappearance rumors were started. From there, the lead took us down to Gurran, Hebla, and eventually a small farming village on the Cretan border named Rintanwa. After speaking to some villagers, we found out there'd been sighting of uniformed men around an abandoned mansion a few miles off. In checking it out, Al and I found a large library filled with data on genetics and anatomy.

"I'd only gotten to glance through a few of the books before a few of the guards snuck in and grabbed Al," Ed snarled, an angry tone making itself present, but he quickly drew a deep breath and pressed forward in a calmer voice. "Al was imprisoned and under death threat while I was taken to the basement laboratory. There I was greeted by Professor Vincent Sein, the chimera specialist I was sent after. I did not attempt to escape or fight back due to Al's circumstances, and thanks to the 'delicate nature' of the transmutation that would occur, made an agreement that no harm would come to either of us as long as I cooperated.

"I was down there for about a week, dozing and waiting for the most part, being injected intermittently with some saline solution that must've had the hormones and DNA bonding stands in it. Didn't get much to eat other than some bread and the occasional drink of water.

"When I was down there, I did look around. There were general alchemical supplies down there, standard stock of elements for labs. The only interesting thing was the chalk board Sein had. On it was the base of the circle they used for me as well as some calculations. I could probably draw it out for you, but I'm not all too involved in the genetics field, so without any references, I can't tell you exactly what it did.

"Anyway, the reaction wasn't a short one, I know that much. After it was over, I was disoriented and suffered some memory loss, but after a minute I was fine. I grabbed some clothes from the basket in the corner-things were sanitized to hell and back, probably from all the failed tests- and got dressed-"

"I think you skipped something, Fullmetal. When did you get undressed?"

"Oh, shut up. Clothing woul-"

"Ahem."

"Shut up, _sir_. Anything besides the actual test subject should not be in the circle. Nothing to do about the ports, but clothes, eh. I freaked the fuck out, covered up the ugly new features to my person, and was working on getting my ass off the concrete and out of the dark when you and Al came barreling in. From there, you know the rest."

"Fullmetal."

"I limped up the stairs like the gimp I am, got to go on a jolly train ride with the Mustang Brigade, got a too small arm and leg for compensation, and made it back in time for tea and cookies. End report."

"Edward."

"Fuck you, I have to write out all the details and shit, I don't need to talk you through it. I'm pretty sure you learned to read. Or maybe not. Is that why you never do your paperwork?"

"Maybe I learned Amestrian like every other person in this country and actually know how to write like a normal person, and consequently, only know how to read such. Your chicken scratch makes my eyes hurt."

"Get some reading glasses then, not my fault you're so damn picky."

"Or we could all just SHUT THE HELL UP."

Both military officers looked at Winry, having forgotten her presence, so were caught a little off guard at her yell. The mechanic was glaring at Mustang, as if he'd personally affronted her, and had been doing so since he came in, actually.

After a few awkward moments, the General decided to call her out on it.

"Is there a problem, Ms. Rockbell?"

"How about you interrupting my work? I need silence."

"If that were true, you wouldn't be in here with Edward."

"Hey."

"He can behave. Sometimes."

"HEY."

Mustang sighed.

"It's not my intention to interfere with your work, Ms. Rockbell, but Edward needs to fill out this paperwork, and I need an oral report, whether he likes it or not. Things go much more smoothly when he cooperates though," the ravenette ended with a look, making Ed grimace at him.

Winry narrowed her eyes and glared for a moment longer before scoffing and turning sharply back to her work. Ed noted through his peripheral vision that her movements were tight and angry, and his tail lashed. Ticking time bomb, that one.

Ed entertained the idea of warning Mustang briefly, before deciding against it. Things were more fun this way.

"So, if we're done with the report nonsense-"

"Not so fast, Fullmetal. I've got the standard report form for you right here."

Making a noise of disgust, Ed swiped the sheets and adjusted his seating so he could balance Winry's notebook on his thigh and use it as a flat surface as he started in on filling out the on file report.

"I also have for you the transferal documents for signing the Sein case back to you, official paperwork for disability leave, and your examination is coming up soon, or at least would have been. It's being postponed until you're back up on feet again. Also, I need to speak to you about-"

"THAT'S IT. No. Get out of here. Get the wheelchair and go to the sitting room or something, but you're not staying here if you're going to keep talking!" Winry fumed, jumping from her seat, grabbing the wheelchair from the corner, and shoving it into the Flam Alchemsit before taking her seat once more and stared defiantly at them, as if daring either male to disobey.

Ed stifled his laughter, but did not hesitate to grin maliciously at his commanding officer, glad to see someone else on the receiving end of Winry's anger. Still, considering Mustang dealt with Ed since he was twelve, this was hardly a problem for him.

After some finagling, Mustang managed to get Ed from the 'operation room' to the living room. Swatting off the man, Ed awkwardly worked the device over to his couch with one hand, and heaved himself onto it.

"Ohhh, I love this couch," Ed groaned, letting himself go limp on the cushy seat.

Mustang sat down in the armchair across from the chimera, stack of papers, and now notebook too, still in hand. Giving them a glance, he set them aside before focusing on his subordinate.

"I'd assume you'd like an update on the Sein case?" Roy smirked when the young man's head snapped to the side to stare intently at him. That certainly got Ed's attention.

"I'll take that as a yes," He continued, finding amusement at the tick of irritation on the younger alchemist's face. Buckling down to have a nice long discussion, the General clasped his hands, rested his elbows on his knees, and leaned forward, taking a moment to gather his wits.

"Well, it certainly hasn't been fun. I'm not sure what you were told, Fullmetal, but for the most part, Investigations has been handling this. Or trying to. They can find leads, connection, do inside jobs, but when alchemy gets involved, it becomes part of our stirring pot. The officers working right now have not had any luck with the coded notes, but have figured the basis of Sein's work and likely routes. Some of the papers here are the lease forms for all information and authority over this work. Their department needs to sign over the notebooks they took, and you'll need to requisition military transport and guard so you can get back in that house to take a closer look. The place was left fairly untouched other than what Investigations swiped, but it's still under watch."

"Wait, so what'd they figure out?"

"Exactly what you did, just not first hand. Sein and his cohorts decided to start back at the concept of a chimera and devise a new way to create one. Creta has been boasting in recent years about scientific advances in the studies of physics and biology. One of those advances was a way to break down DNA and look at each strand. Sein must have been a leading professor in the field or know someone who is for him to this kind of access to that information. Every country has its limits though, and human experimentation has never been okay, anywhere."

"So of course he couldn't do it there," Ed grumbled, grimacing a little.

"Obviously not. But, we still don't know a lot of the details. I've been busy in the office, trying to organize affairs with the Council, so I couldn't help, and almost all alchemists we have are working. No one has been able to take a look into it yet. Everything but the textbooks was coded. Something interesting though. One of them was a university bio book from the Nuvar Institute up north. It was actually written by one of their very own professors, a Gentilo Calgriono. Looked him up, found out he was a legalized Amestrain originally from Creta. Came over a good few years before Sein, but records indicate they could have worked together at one point."

"So has anyone talked to the guy yet?" Ed asked, a sudden sense of foreboding crawling up his spine. Something in those narrowed onyx eye did not bode well for him.

"No, we have a plan for that that we'll get into once you're back up. But that's pretty much it. Intel is digging through files, making a timeline record for when Sein came into state to time of death. It's hard, he covered his tracks well, but not good enough I think.

"Now, besides the case, I have some other delightful news for you, Fullmetal," the ravenette continued, lightening his tone, but something about this made Ed feel even worse.

"As you know, many young men and women sign up to join the military each year, usually after they finish primary and secondary schooling, which usually lets out around the end of April. And by then, knowing you, you'll be up and about, maybe not quite back to full capacity functionality, but pretty damn close. And as you may or may not be aware, Central cycles its Generals in charge of training new recruits-"

"Oh, fuck no. Fuck. No."

"It's required, Fullmetal, and in your contract," Mustang shot down Ed's protest, a smirk curling his lips up as he looked at Ed's horrified face.

"Mustang, in case you forgot, I wasn't trained in the most conventional of manners, how the heck and I supposed to train newbies in military form when I didn't even get formal militant training myself?" The half blond demanded, ears folding back and eyes widened slightly.

"Manual for standard procedure and training will be brought over for you next time someone visits. You're gonna be their secondary run through training, so the troops you get will be those destined for positions as privates, future officers, sharp shooters, the like. You'll also be in charge of introductory psych conditioning and you'll have to evaluate each and every one of them."

"This is total shit."

"Get over it," Roy continued, blowing off the disgruntled teen. "Now it is pertinent that all this paperwork is filled out so it can be processed and filed, Edward. And that report. Considering what happened, we need all the details you can put down, and we'll see about getting Doctor Knox to pay back a favor and check up on you. Get a full medical report to update your files with and help keep an eye on anything. Then we can compare that to whatever you find in Sein's notes about what he did to you.

"Now, on an entirely different note, something has come to my attention Edward," Mustang paused, a strange look now adorning his face as he stared past Ed and the boy became wary. This was unlike the General. He had an almost awkward look on his face and when Ed let himself breathe deep, he could scent a strange anxiety on the man. Mustang was tense and uncomfortable and everything he usually wasn't so Ed straightened up and stared intently, unbelievably curious.

When the military man did not continue on his own however, Ed prompted him with a 'what?'

"Well, your mother passed away when you were six-" Ed bristled bit at that, an ever present dull, suppressed ache letting itself be known once more before being stifled in the shadows- "and your father was never around. The only guardian figures you knew from then until you joined up were Mrs. Pinako Rockbell and Mrs. Izumi Curtis. Once you joined up, your sole focus was getting Alphonse back while attending to your duties as a State Alchemist."

"Yeah, so?" Ed asked, the anxious feeling he was picking up increasing, making his gut twist and his hand spasm.

"This is far beyond awkward Fullmetal, but have you ever heard of 'the Talk?"

The brilliant rampant messy mind of Edward Hohenhiem Elric stuttered to a stop.

Roy, taking the utterly blank and frankly creepy gaze to be a no, reluctantly tried to explain to his youngest subordinate about the subject, fairly sure that the kid didn't even realize he had hormones when he was focused on getting Al's body back.

Quite the contrary, Ed was attempting to restart his brain so he could make the man stop. He had no desire to relive the memories of being eleven, bedridden, unable to sleep for nightmares, and unable to escape as a drunken Granny Pinako decided to regale to Ed the 'birds and the bees.' In the most explicit and extensive way possible.

"Alright, well then. When you reach a certain age Edward, your body begins to change in various different ways, many that one would hope you had noticed. One of those changes has to do with your hormones though, and your body preparing to be sexually active. At a younger age, though, there are other ways to, hem, satisfy your body without another person-"

"Shut up now before I tear out your vocal cords. Please, shut up," Ed ground out, finally finding his voice and cutting across Mustang in a desperate tone. His right eye twitched and his teeth were clenched and he really, really didn't want to have this 'talk' again. Ever. No.

Mustang still had a slightly pained face on and sighed lightly. "Edward, I know this is not typical conversation matter but it's stuff you need-"

"No. Shut up. Now. I will not have this conversation with you. Just, no," Ed was a getting more stressed now, really wanting Mustang to shut up so he could go back to forcing away the images the elderly crazed and drunk automail engineer had conjured within his mind's eye years ago. "I got to deal with this shit once; I'm not doing it again."

Aches and throbs and stiff unused muscles were making themselves known, and the chimera did his best to ignore them as he rubbed his forehead with his hand.

"Hold on, so you have had 'the Talk?'" The General inquired, a certain sense of relief coating his voice, and Ed couldn't agree more. It was not a fun talk. It was weird and strange and for Ed it was horrifyingly exact and early.

"As a matter of fact, I have."

"Good. That at least gets that out of the way, but-"Mustang paused; now eyeing Ed a little cautiously and the dreadful sensation was roiling inside him again.

"What?"

"What about Alphonse?"

Ed froze.

When he and Al were eleven and ten, respectively, they had attempted Human Transmutation. To attempt to make a human though, one had to know them inside and out. They knew the functions of the human body. They knew how babies were made. They knew what 'sex' was, but for Al, only in the strictest of scientific terms. It wasn't really something the two of them talked about. It was just information and a fact of life.

Until Pinako thought that the Elric child that was lying on a hospital cot in her operation room, unable to escape, needed to hear the drunken tales of her own younger escapades. Not just the apparent usual of skimming the topic, saying 'masturbating is okay' and 'wait for the right one' and 'you'll figure it out.' It was 'a lot of people's ears are sensitive' and 'it's called 'eating out'' and 'scissor your fingers just so' and he shuddered violently. It was not the best time of his life, automail recovery, because for some reason Pinako kept talking him through these horrible things, drunk out of her mind.

Al, thankfully, was not privy to Ed's nighttime disturbances, forced to hear the words of a plastered old witch. Hell, he wasn't even sure she was wasted half the time, and she always had this wicked smile, like she was having the time of her life screwing with his head.

"What about him?" Ed grits out, knowing exactly where this was going and he did not want his little brother to be poisoned with such things. The thoughts and ideas made people curious, he should know, and he didn't want to think about anyone handling Al like that. Alphonse was his little brother.

"I'll take that as a 'he hasn't had the Talk,'" Mustang lets his lips curl down slightly and stares hard at Ed, whose stressed body was coiling like a spring, tense and anxious and uncomfortable. "You realize that he needs to?"

"No, no he doesn't," Fullmetal responded quickly, attempting the shoot down the idea before it could take shape.

"Yes Edward, he does," Mustang replied forcefully, then decides on his approach to best ease his subordinate into the idea. "Look, hormones and changes are a natural part of growing up, but Al hasn't had his body for a long time. He hasn't been eased into this, even if there really is no easy thing about it. Think about it though, Ed. Al probably doesn't understand the changes that occurred or are still occurring, the reactions he may have to people around him and how to handle those. And it's embarrassing; he's not going to want to talk about it. I would think you'd like to make him as comfortable as possible with his body-"

"Of course I do!"

"Then you need to talk him through this Ed. Tell him what you were-"

"Oh, no. No. No fuckin' way would I put Al through _**that**_."

"Fine then. It doesn't have to be specific, but enough that he can get by. Know what to do with certain urges he may feel, how to handle them and his body. Knowing him, he's probably already read all about it, but he needs to be talked to. Reading it is different than being told about it. Some reassurance that whatever he may be dealing with is normal."

Ed opened his mouth to protest, to deny the necessity, to ask 'why do I have to be the one to talk to him about it?' but he already knew. He couldn't leave Al in the dark like that. He needed to make sure the kid knew he would be willing to help him through any of this, no matter how awkward. That, and if anyone had to talk to Al about this stuff, it'd better be him.

Ed sat stone still for a few moments before groaning and slumping on the couch. This sucked.

* * *

**A/N: So yeah, pretty slow, but it's a kick off point and forewarns of what to come XD I'm on edge about actually writing Ed giving Alphonse 'the Talk'or not. Also, Ed training recruit will be fun, and can anyone guess what Roy's plan may be in regards to Gentilio? It's another thing I'm on edge about, but I wanna play with it, even if it's a bit overused. Hell, chimera fic. This is already an abused concept.**

**Crap, is this entire fic a reverse parody of neko!fics? I think it is o.o**

**Shit.**

**Okay, whatever. Anywho, reviews are loved, folks!**


	14. Chapter 13

**I hate myself for taking this long to update. But, yeah, here it is, slightly shorter than i'd like, but it'd seem weird to continue this chapter I think. This isn't filler or anything, but I don't even know where this chapter came from. I had a nice little plan and then bam, this happened.**

**So yeah, enjoy folks.**

**OH, WAIT, JUST REMEMBERED. I got fanart. When I saw that, I just... it made me smile a lot, okay. Seriously, it was absurdly heartwarming, and I thank you very much NoOneShallKnow for your art. I think most people are rather ecstatic when they receive fanart of their work. I'm glad you've loved this fic enough to draw our favorite alchemist. Hope you don't mind me linking it here incase anyone wants to see. **

**http:/ / hardyboyzrus. deviantart. com/#/d4qlebp - get rid of the spaces**

**I also want to thank everyone for their continued support despite my chronic procrastination.**

**Warnings: Unbeta'd, Manga-verse/Post Promised Day, AU, Mature themes, cussing, slash.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.**

* * *

Ed blinked. Twice.

"Edward, tell me you were listening," Winry snapped, bright excited eyes suddenly lighting with fury at the notion that the half blond had ignored her 'mech babble' again.

Coming back to himself, the chimera shook himself a little before realizing the urgency of Winry's inquiry and the brain cells at stake.

"Yeah, yes, yes, I was, don't worry!" Ed answered, if a little frantically, teeth baring ever so slightly in his rush and golden eyes widening. He _so_ did not need any more issues to contend with, and a cracked skull would really throw a wrench in his week. Literally.

Still, the notion that 'it' actually worked was a little disorienting. 'It' being the surrogate nerve system Ed had sketched out for Winry along with some faux mechanics and common sense application of the rebounding electrical currents and connection panel. There were plenty of sockets put in, so they could be reprogrammed with an outside source to receive sensations instead of put out movement. Then again, those sockets were already programmed because Winry was planning on asking him to help her with this anyway.

Still, the thought of having feeling in his metal appendages was intriguing. Well, more defined feeling than the vague notion of pressure.

Actually, neither of them was quite sure how this would work out until they tried it. More specifically, not until Winry finished screwing the final bits of plating onto the prosthetic and painfully attached it to Ed's empty port.

Still the concept was an interesting mix of anatomical correctness, convoluted schemes, and pure automail constructive genius. Instead of pressure plates exactly, there were pressure cables sandwiched and intertwined in a complicated system of overlapping plates and connections and vibration receptors and okay, fine, he hadn't paid total attention to everything Winry was saying, but he knew the gist of it. The cables and wires system picked up vibration, and using calculations programmed into the connection plate and the intensity of the received signals and which cords picked them up, which the strongest, etcetera, his nerves would receive a corresponding signal that would translate much like real sensation.

For safety purposes, there was also a buffer installed to ensure no pain signals would be produced (hopefully).

Still, he liked his idea better, but he wasn't an automail mechanic, and couldn't rightly say if a system of what would practically be scales with cords set up to shift and expand and adjust like real muscles was even plausibly possible. Winry had almost started drooling when she was done yelling about what an idiotic idea it was.

Alright, perhaps he'd gotten a little carried away when she'd handed him that journal, but he couldn't help it! He was bored, and as much as he appreciated Al's efforts to entertain him, things were a bit strained between them right now, and it was taking a lot out of Ed to not outright demand that Al spill and tell him just what the hell was wrong.

Ugh, how long had it been now that he'd been indisposed like an invalid? A month? Maybe? Hell if he knew anymore. It was better not to pay such close attention to time or else it would just drag on more and more.

Dark furred ears flicked as they picked up footsteps outside in the hall coming towards the back room Ed had been residing in for a while now, and he was eager to start recovering so he could seal up this room and never come in here again. Ed felt his senses stir and fixate, and he could feel the anxiety of Al's mind as the younger Elric moved to enter. Ed's expression fell slightly and his tail flicked in response. It was still strange how he could do that, just adjust and attune to another person. Sure, he'd learned long ago to read and feel out people, but this was like putting himself right in the middle of whatever they felt and letting himself get battered by it.

What was really bugging him was Alphonse's agitated state. And maybe a little how Al had been acting so damned nervous whenever his older brother was around. It put Edward on edge, and he didn't particularly enjoy it.

Now, because of Al's recently acquired tendency to go on a mental fritz whenever his brother was around, Ed didn't get to drink in the sight of Al's carefree elated teeth-filled grins or watch the brunette's grey eyes alight with enthusiasm or hear the sweet cadence of the younger's voice as he happily chattered. Ed could feel his chest ache at those thoughts, a deep throb that he was hard pressed to ignore. Al was finally adjusting to a body again and Ed wanted him to enjoy it, but apparently having Ed around was hindering that and making his little brother hard pressed for composure.

Ed was not a touchy-feely person. The fact he had been touching Al a lot more recently proved nothing, and the fact he missed that freedom to hold Al's hand or ruffle Al's hand while most certainly not lingering also proved nothing. He just wasn't fond that Al flinched and went into fidget and run mode each time Ed made the motion to make physical contact with the younger for the past few days.

Either way, thinking on it wasn't gonna do him any good. Ed needed to confront Al about his newfound issues with the chimera's proximity soon because he needed to understand what the issue was.

The traitorous little voice that whispered doubt in his mind chose now to remind him of the thing he had been turned into. What if Al really wasn't okay with Ed being a genetically altered predator? Gate knows no one is really 'okay' with it.

Mentally telling his personal devil's advocate to not-so-politely shut the fuck up, Ed focused on his little brother who just stepped in through the door.

Alphonse was staring at the floor, obviously lost in thought and Ed almost had to bite his tongue to resist the urge to just pounce, now, while his brother was distracted. His tail flicked again.

The moment the younger alchemist looked up, he was met with the intent golden gaze of his elder brother, the boy- no, man that had raised him, had committed his life to his little brother, the man that grew up far too quickly, the man that had taken over the roles of not only being big brother, but of mother and father too, the man Al was getting hot and bothered by and had kissed and it was like Ed's eyes could see it-

Edward had to bat away the impulse to jump forward and pull Al's face back up to his the moment his little brother dropped his head to stare intently at the wooden flooring once more. He also had to bite back a growl of frustration.

It was odd, what he'd picked up from Al in those few moments before the brunette's emotions turned into a veritable wreck. It was a welling of admiration and bittersweet awe, a hint of sadness, and something akin to longing? Excitement? Not the 'holy shit, we've discovered the way to get our bodies back!' excited, but a deeper, darker kind, only Ed could hardly describe it like that, this was Al for Truth's sake, but it was curious and muddled.

Tipping his head slightly, Ed continued to study Al, thoughts of shaking some answers out of the kid having fled his mind. Instead, he was taking in the red flush of Al's cheeks and something similar to that dark anticipation made his breathing pause. The idea of holding Al's face firmly was once more appealing, but this time the urge was stronger and set him on edge.

The silent tension between the brothers was abruptly dispersed by a victorious shout from the makeshift work bench where Winry had finished screwing the paneling on and the steel arm and leg were ready to go.

Their childhood friend sobered quickly though and turned to stare long and hard at the chimera currently bedridden and crippled as the natural world would have had him. Clad in black boxers, he was sitting on top of rumpled cotton sheets. Ed's gold-turned-sable hair was tied back in a sloppy ponytail and choppy bangs hung around his face, framing inquisitive molten eyes with vaguely elongated pupils, but the blonde ignored the searching eyes and took a long, long look at her patient.

The shoulder and thigh ports were sleek and shiny, still free of bangs and scratches as Ed was wont to decorate them in. The connection sites were shadowed by casing that held them firmly against red vulnerable muscle and nerves, kept raw and fermented just underneath. Along the edges, skin swelled over and was dark red and thick from tissue buildup, healed right against the prosthetics, pulling and stretching at the skin that had grown onto it. Down along Ed's right side was the stitching following his ribcage where he'd once had the larger, bulkier port casing. The thread was ready to be removed now, the skin scarred enough to hold together on its own.

The marked up, scarlet and dark skin was still sensitive and soft though. The wounds were still young and healing, too slow to keep up with their owner, or maybe their owner just kept pushing ahead too hard.

"For the record Ed, I think you are going way, way too fast with this."

"Duly noted, now can we get on with it?" Ed weaseled; feeling his stomach tighten and the tension just dispelled pick right back up to nigh palpable levels. Winry foraged on as if he hadn't spoken, but her grasp tightened to white knuckled clutching of her wrench. Ed noted her tensing in the back of his mind, his tail swishing in response.

"An automail patient usually has to wait at _least_ six months to a year to actually have their prosthetic attached to allow for the _shock_ to wear off their body and so they can adjust to the copious amount of metal _grafted_ into their skin, not to mention the bolts _screwed_ into their bones. A patient that's getting a resizement is still recommended to wait that long, even _longer_ actually, and they sure as _hell_ aren't supposed to receive removal and reattachment surgery within a few weeks of each other," Winry spoke somewhat harshly, eyes snapping at Ed's trying to make the thickheaded idiot understand. It wasn't that he was too thick though, he just didn't want to stop, he didn't want to think, he didn't want to wait and rot and actually let those fevered nightmares a chance to resurface before he could shuffle them away.

But how could she let this go without a word? Ed was her best friend, always would be, and she would not let him do this without some kind of fight. This was doing more harm than good to his abused body, and Winry would not condone it. Could not.

How could she have let him do all this to himself? Not jst this, everything? How had it gotten so bad?

"But I'm not most patients, Winry-" Ed cut in again, and the lemon blonde finally burst.

"But you're still just human Ed! Your body can only take so much before you burn out! You've been on bed rest for weeks but are you actually relaxing and letting yourself get any better? No! You just keep insisting and pushing and I don't fucking care who you are, Edward Elric, the kid down the street, or some hulked up soldier, you can't keep doing this or you'll kill yourself Edward! Don't you get that!"

"Winry, I'm _fine_-"

"No, you're not!" She half screamed, half sobbed, the sound wrenching from her throat like a dying gasp that shook the chimera, sitting stock still and stiff. This was bad. Bad bad _bad_. His eyes sharpened but conveyed a contrary message, one silently pleading in a way Ed would never stoop to, was physically incapable of stooping to. One that Winry did not catch.

"You're not fine at all Edward, and don't try and feed that crap to anyone else either! You just got turned into a chimera. It has to be traumatizing, it has to take adjustment, but you just keep on going as if it never happened! Then your automail had to be taken off, and I know that isn't pleasant, but then to have it put back on so soon after is just plain wrong! You're killing yourself. You just got out of your fever, and that's always a bad experience, especially for you. I know. I've heard you screaming and crying-"

There was no holding back Ed's hackles rising at that, his blood already rushing through his veins and burning his skin. It felt like liquid magma was pulsing just under his skin, and he could feel those black little clawed hands scratching against his mind and body, adrenaline spiking the sudden clamor of the genius chimera's head. _How dare she speak of it. How_ dare _she._

"-so don't even try to say it's okay, that you're okay. I'm your friend Ed and Al's your brother. We want to help you, but you just won't let us in!"

"What are you on about?" He was tense, and he could feel muscles pulling and maybe on ripping and something was red near his thigh, but all he could see was the raging mechanic before him attempting to air his darkest, most coveted secrets to the world (well, room with her, Al, and himself, but it's the principle of the matter, the concept, the idea of them being spoken about and not screamed in a ragged unwilling voice). His countenance had broken from a blank slate and had crumpled into a snarl, his ears flat against his head and his pupils slitting even more. His skin was crawling and heated and it was almost toodifficult to breath.

_Winry, don't, for the love of alchemy, automail, you parent's fucking grave, just don't-_

Winry was treading dangerously thin ice.

And then she broke it.

"The fact you keep everything so bottled up, Ed! I've learned more about you in the past few weeks than I have my whole life because I got to actually hear you for once, and I don't like it at all. How could you actually believe all that?"

"Winry-"

"How could you possibly believe you killed Alphonse!"

The silence following her frustrated, broken yell was deafening.

Winry stood there, face flushed in righteous fury, her blonde hair framing her face and heaving shoulders as she fought the prickle of tears in her eyes. Alphonse was standing stone still just out of arm's reach at Ed's bedside, staring blankly at Winry.

And Ed?

Ed was sitting there, quiet and staring, tail lashing, left hand clenched into his stub thigh, stabbing into what was left of his left leg with sharp thick nails, but none of them had noticed the thick red liquid oozing from around his embedded claws.

The snarl was gone from the elder Elric's face. As a matter of fact, all emotion there had been wiped free, leaving an eerily expressionless alchemist boring into Winry with slitted golden eyes.

As her trembling grew worse from her own internal despair and silence, it still didn't register what kind of mistake she'd made.

Winry didn't understand the way Ed's mind processed and worked. They were two entirely separate people who operated in such different ways with the influence of very differing experiences. Even with all the time she'd known the half blond young man before her, she had never learned to figure out how he worked. That was why they clashed so much. Neither could relate all too well to the other's own inner workings. But this? This was no small slip or spat.

Edward Elric is a private person who hoards his secrets and pains under a thick skin and his own brash, confrontational nature. He did not willingly share any of these things, with anyone. Well, Al, yes, but not the deeper, darker doubts he held concerning his little brother. Those were his, and his alone.

Ed had spent all but a few years of his life raising Al and tending to his family in whatever ways he could manage. He grew up quick. The routine of being the protector, the caregiver, it was him. It's what he does.

Perhaps he took it to unhealthy levels, with the horrors and nightmares he kept under lock and key. But why in the world did others need to be burdened with his ridiculously extensive issues? They didn't. Not to mention, it was none of their damn business in the first place.

So say something were to happen to a person who kept a tight hold on their aches and pain and hid them inside. Something that caused he or she to scream those feelings, those doubts, those _failures_, all that compartmentalized agony to the skies. Something involuntary. Something he or she couldn't control.

A despairing moment of vulnerability that just makes said person hate his or herself a little bit more for.

Do you straight out confront a person like this to the face about their issues when they are attempting to normalize themselves from a slew of even more bullshit and exhaustive stuff that he or she is already beating themselves up over not being able to handle or control and straight out, to their face, make it clear that their slip would not be forgotten, thus giving he or she one more thing to agonize over?

No, no you don't.

"I want my arm and leg. Now." Edward's voice was cold, colder than the hailstorms of Drachma and Fort Briggs, icier than arctic wind, and it cut into the blond mechanic's heart to hear that tone.

Did Ed not listen to a word she said!

"I swear on the Gate, Winifred Urey Rockbell, if you scream at me one more time, you will never be welcomed in any Elric household ever again and you will never see me again for as long as you live."

Her jaw snapped shut, for once realizing this wasn't a bluff. And that hurt. The young woman's head swam and her eyes were not wet, shut up, and her body just seemed to wilt, still pinned down by Ed's frigid glare. This was not the look one reserved for a friend, but for a threat, an enemy, someone who knew too much and couldn't be trusted. It was a look to be used on those that were despicable and horrendous humans, and she didn't know why it was directed at her, but it scarred her deep.

Al couldn't move, couldn't speak, too shell-shocked to kick back into motion. He could not believe what Winry had just done. He should have realized after they found out about that that she was just as disturbed that Ed had clung to that kind of crushing, soul-shredding guilt all these years. He should have told her not to talk about it. Then again, Al had just assumed. She'd left well enough alone after Ed's first fever, he thought the second she'd do the same, but then again, for someone like Winry, whose heart was on her figurative sleeve and temper as short fused as Ed's at times, the brunette should have known better. He should have told her he'd handle it.

And Al was, he really was, he just needed time so he could talk to his brother and not get flustered. That and find the right words to confront Ed about it. The right approach. Even he needed to be careful, broaching something like this with his brother.

Al silently berated himself for not realizing he needed to tell Winry off, that he should have done it, because this mess would not be an easy one to clean up.

"Winifred."

Her slumped, quivering form shuddered and a muffled sob escaped.

"I am impatient, Winifred. Arm. Leg. Now. And then you get out."

The repeated use of her full name was salt on the wound, being ground in over and over. There was the blunt and friendly little blond that was her childhood best friend? Where was the affectionate teasing and nicknames? Where was the boy that acted just like a little boy and pulled mean pranks, but apologized after and tried to make it up with a lollipop he snagged down at the supermarket? Certainly not here.

Sniffing loudly, the girl gathered herself, weakly scolding herself for not being the strong young woman she should have been, but her heart wasn't in it.

Shakily setting down her wrench, the one Ed had given her long years ago now, Winry took a prosthetic in each hand and walked over to the chimera's bedside, where she finally noticed the scarlet liquid coating Ed's hand and thigh.

Her sharp inhale of breath would normally have been followed up bu a long bout of yelling and scolding, but two things were presiding over her mind right now. One, she was on the edge apparently, dancing upon the dangerous precipice overhang of an endless drop. She could not stand to push it right now. Two, Ed's gaze was still digging into her skin, and as much as it horrified her to use the word to describe him, Ed's gaze was heartless. She would have no slack here.

That and she was tired now. She was ready to just go to sleep and foolishly think everything would be okay in the morning, because she was not going to deal with all of this right now.

"Ed, stop, you're bleeding," She whispered dully, shivering hands placing the prosthetics down, resisting the urge to dash for gauze and antiseptic and bash Ed in the face with the med kit container, because right now, she did not have the energy, and maybe, somewhere kept shushed up in her head, was a fear. A fear of the animosity that so quickly emerged in the elder Elric, one that tried to say it was because of what he is, what he has become, but she fiercely denied it, knowing it wasn't true, but knowing something can't always change how a person reacts.

She was only human after all.

A low noise reverberated from the chimera, making Winry flinch.

Okay, fine, if Edward wanted to be an idiot, then so be it. Why should she care? The moron wouldn't listen to reason anyway. In a subdued but mildly violent way, Winry tossed Ed's leg to Al, who made a noise when it collided with him and fumbled shortly for it.

Coldly and professionally, doing her best to ignore the slight tremble of her hands, she slides the metallic prosthetic into place in the socket, hating herself for doing this, hating Ed for being so damn stubborn, hating alchemy for ruining so much of her brothers' lives. Swiftly, Al moved the leg into place as well, waiting for the signal to connect the limb.

"Three, two, _one_," Winry spoke softly, jerking the arm sharply into the connection plate, feeling the connectors click into place under her hands, simultaneously, Al mimicked the mechanic's actions, jolting Ed's metal leg firmly into place in the leg port.

Winry stood there for a moment, feeling her emotions clamor inside her head, and she found herself wishing it didn't cause her so much pain to think about the Elrics, to interact with them, but she knew she didn't hold it against them. She just wanted Ed to listen and maybe talk about it, but he wouldn't.

"Out," the word was hissed monotonously, and Winry came back to herself with a deep breath and withdrew, heading straight for the door, planning to go and just sleep the rest of the day away.

How had it turned into this mess?

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**A/N: Reviews are luff, blah blah, so on so forth. Sorry about lack of enthusiasm, but I'm just really disappointed in myself. Ignore the ramblings and read more fanfiction. It always makes me feel better.**


	15. Chapter 14

**I just realized this story had been going on for almost 2 years now and I've barely delved into the plot points I want to cover, DAMMIT, I SUCK AT THIS. I really am sorry guys, I'm trying,a dn the next year is gonna be really busy for me, but I do want to update faster. I need to reimmerse into FMA but Supernatural and Xiaolin Showdown keep overriding everything else XP**

**Anyway, cal this filler if you want, it does actually serve a few purposes and I felt it'd be weird not to end the chapter where it did, even though I want it to be longer. I dunno what errors may lurk in this, but I think it's probably okay.**

**Warnings: Unbeta'd, Manga-verse/Post Promised Day, AU, Mature themes, cussing, slash.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, no matter how much I wish I did.**

* * *

The quiet hung in the room like a foul smell, polluting the air and making it thick and heavy and hard to breathe. At least, that's how Alphonse felt, the sound of the door clicking back into place after Winry fled the scene still loud in his ears.

Finally he was able to dart his gray eyes back to his brother, finding himself once more in place to be responsible for keeping Ed from doing something ridiculously stupid in his reckless impulsiveness. Like continuing to stab himself in the leg with thick sharp nails or bleed all over the sheets.

Al could hear Ed's forcedly calm breathing and knew that the connection had been bad. Ed really shouldn't have them attached this early, and his brother was still stock still, glinting gaze lingering unfocusedly on the door.

Gently, Al reached out and smoothed his hand over his brother's flesh hand that was still digging into his leg. The exited buzzing under his skin that seemed to accompany contact with his older brother wasn't able to distract him from his current mission, which the younger Elric was grateful for. Rubbing the back of Ed's hand, Al got the chimera to relax enough so that he could pry his claws out of the fresh claw wounds.

It was as Ed felt his live arm being moved that he finally came back to his senses, and looked over at the soft, smooth hands enveloping his own, now decorated with shiny thick crimson. Somewhat blankly, Edward continued to look at Alphonse's hands, which were still massaging circles into the skin of his own.

It was the sudden impulse to lick the thick red liquid from their fingers and then clean his wound with his own tongue that finally got Ed to start thinking again, thank the Gate, because he was just about to proceed and while the instinctual notion was there and seemed almost natural, Ed knew it wasn't and knew he should not be wanting to lick his own blood from his fingers.

Okay, well actually, that was more so strange than disturbing. It was natural for him now. It was a part of him. The part that really got his head processing once more was the absurd thought of cleaning his bodily fluids from his little brother's skin and something about that thought seemed even worse.

Honestly, what the hell was he doing?

Oh, right, he was blocking out and suppressing the obligatory mental outburst at the fact Winry had said it.

Oh dear Gate, she had said. He had spent years, years, never daring to utter it, never daring to speak such disgusting words, but there she'd gone and thrown them in his face and everything hurt. Everything.

He had killed Al. His beloved little brother.

What's worse, he had been used, sacrificed, to make a mound of pulsating quavering flesh.

And Ed had still been at the circle's edge, down a leg but still alive, still well enough, but Al, Al had been gone. Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Ed recognized his little brother's presence beside him, the one wiping liquid life from his fingers and bandaging his damaged body, but nothing was processing very well.

Why was the brunette still here? He'd heard the girl, hadn't he? Ed had killed him. Hell, Al had heard Ed himself, screaming and begging and sobbing and crying the statement as he lay weak and useless and pathetic, lost in the nightmares. But he deserved every last one of them, that torture was his alone to carry, it was his duty to keep them away from everyone else. It was all he was good for.

Fuck, scratch that, he wasn't good for shit because he'd gone and presented it straight to them, flashy show of tears and everything.

Tears. They'd seen him crying.

They had heard him sobbing from the illusionary terrors that had wrapped round his head, filled with endless shadows and digging clawing fingers and gargantuan red eyes and so much blood, so fuckin' much, streets paved with rotting flesh, the enshrined body of his mother, dying a thousand deaths without him being able to do a thing, his little brother being ripped from his grasp to be tortured or raped or beaten or destroyed in so many ways, whether by himself or someone else and the images were beginning to blur and engulf him.

Alphonse and Winry had seen him at his weakest.

It was a silent fact that Winry had for years now, but by unspoken law, it was something no one mentioned or acknowledged, which Ed had always been thankful for, but in the back of his mind, he'd wondered why she would allow him a luxury so undeserved. To let him shuffle these problems aside.

He deserved their gruesome truth, to have the reality of the situation perfectly framed and outlined in his vision, not disregarded to the edges of sight where the chimera did not have to deal with it.

It felt like betrayal. Betrayal so strong and deep that he didn't know how to respond. He didn't want to.

How was he supposed to want to when his closest, if not only, friend turns on him and decides to rub his face in the mess he had been balking to accept and cope with for nearly half his life?

Right, instincts took care of that one.

Nothing though could stop the shutdown Winry had just initiated, and Ed didn't want Al to be there to see the crash and burn.

No one even realized the motherfucking miracle it was for this boy to be alive, breathing and moving, did they? Of course not.

Only Ed knew. He knew because he had killed this beautiful boy once, and he would never forgive himself for that.

"Alphonse," Ed breathed softly, tasting the name, his world and everything, summed into those two simple syllables.

How many times had he harmed Al? How many times had he hurt the boy without meaning to? How many times had he done it while intending to? And how many more times would he?

His head reeled, shuddering at the notion of Al leaving, at the thought of losing his brother.

"Ed?" Al responded, looking up from his derailed task of loosening the tight muscles of his brother's hand. He noted the distant look to Ed's eyes, the barely suppressed emotions laying waste behind them, but Al could not spare time to pry because he remembered that he was supposed to be patching the bleeding gouges on Ed's leg, not giving the older teen a hand massage.

Al grimaced a little, wondering if he should really be the one watching over Ed right now.

Edward felt his gruesome musings of trauma and blame and guilt step back for a moment as to allow him to observe the subject of his thoughts carefully sterilizing and bandaging his leg with a med kit pulled from under Winry's shop supplies.

His own mind retreated further as his instincts reached out to the boy bandaging his leg, soaking in the gentle yet steady presence of his little brother.

Such warmth was there, and Ed basked in it.

That was short lived though as his attentions shifted to the younger's emotions. They were a muddled mess, far too difficult to sort out in the hazy mental state Ed had taken on, realizing in a detached manner he'd gone into a shock of sorts.

Out of all of Alphonse's rampant emotions, absurd distracting excitement remained clear. Ed's senses considered the odd feeling, slowly immersing into it. A tingling, not unpleasant burn spread itself upon the elder Elric, pulling at his body to move. The feeling made him twitch in anticipation. He craved contact. He wanted to pull his fingers through caramel lockes and mark the boy his own.

There was nothing particularly strange about these urges. At least, that's what Ed thought before his blissful anxious state was broken by running by those ideas again.

Ed felt his senses reluctantly obey his minds frantic retraction from his brother's essence, his hackles already raised, body more wound up now than ever, disturbed in a way he couldn't process.

What had he just classified as an acceptable idea? It couldn't have been what he'd just thought it was.

No, no, of course not. The idea of marking Al had most certainly not crossed his mind and most definitely not been established as an okay thing.

Ed paused and breathed deep, hoping for some form of order to restore itself.

Of all the sick, twisted, disgusting thoughts-

No, he did not think that. He most certainly didn't. End of story, move along now.

The hum of Al that had been overriding his own brain was ebbing and disintegrating, letting poisonous black seep through once more, bringing phantoms of horror, both fabricated and real and so very horrendous back to the forefront, reminding him of his shattering walls.

How pathetic, that a simple voicing of his true actions would cripple his mind in such a substantial way. It was sickening how weak he'd become at the mention of the one action that shadowed his every breath, eating at him from the inside out.

It was no one's business but his own, but now it wasn't and he couldn't cope like this because he could see it so clearly.

The scarlet eye watching with revolting glee as little black hands reached out and tore Ed's leg right out from under him, then tore his brother right out of his hands.

Ed could see Al falling to pieces, screaming his name like a final prayer for a savior because they were literally the last words he may ever breathe with life in his body and Al reaching for his older brother, his protector. The one who'd failed him.

The amount of pain from having a limb could never compare. Not from being broken down and cycled through the Gate. Not from having his stomach pierced by the supporting beam of a falling tower. Not for Ed.

Nothing could ever compete with the numb devastation of seeing his brother, his Alphonse, vanish before his eyes, incapable of saving him. Too weak to prevent it, too stupid for bringing it about, too useless for not stopping it. He couldn't breathe. His throat had tightened and he couldn't swallow. Ed had felt like puking his guts out, he could feel the missing part of himself that had just slipped right through his fingers that had brushed where Alphonse had been too late. His body was trembling and the blank desolation was one that no person should ever have the misfortune of experiencing because nothing could ever compare to the dead feeling of realizing your brother, your world, your everything, was gone, and it was your fault.

He'd killed his brother.

His baby brother.

His baby brother, fuck.

FUCK.

He felt like something had just torn itself asunder and he wanted to claw his hair out, tear his scalp off, rip his own eyes out and scar his mouth shut after removing his own tongue. He nearly wanted to die, but that would be far too merciful. He wanted to inflict such agony upon the creature so vile as to take Alphonse from him, and he wasn't doing a good enough job because he felt as though he still deserved worse.

* * *

"Go."

Al jumped, shocked out of his own stupor after wrapping gauze around the bandage for Ed's leg. Alarms were smacking him to attention at the commanding finality of Ed's tone of voice, only it was hoarse and forced and something was terribly wrong.

Al felt a surge of something he couldn't quite name when he saw the look of Ed's eyes. It inspired a certain fear of what Ed might try and do. It made Alphonse's very being ache to see the tormented soul of his brother burning bright and almost fevered. He wanted to soothe Ed, he wanted to help, he wanted to do anything to make this better, and he didn't know how this time.

The younger teen was almost always prepared for every Ed related occasion, but this one was out of his field.

Alphonse didn't know what to do this time.

Place two Elrics in a situation neither is acclimated to handle well. Usually, at least one of them has a grip, but right now, both of them were falling apart.

Under the sanctioning of Murphy's Law, this is the absolute equation for a disaster.

So of course, what ended up happening should really be no surprise.

Alphonse's nerves were not often grated upon. Sometimes he'd get agitated, sometimes a little upset, particularly emotional, taking glee at his ability to express himself.

Still, by nature, Al was far more easygoing and hospitable than Ed. Openly at the very least. Al knew Ed had a good heart and meant well, but with a mouth and attitude like Ed's, it could be a little hard to tell.

Either way, Al felt himself becoming maybe a bit upset.

This was- no, is- stupid. Really stupid.

Ed didn't kill him. He didn't. Alphonse would know. Perhaps displaced, stolen, removed, something, but not dead.

But it was a little annoying when the idea forced its way through the empathetic trauma and confused attraction looming over Alphonse's thoughts. That idea being that Ed killed him, in the sense Ed was responsible for killing him, as if Al had no choice or hand in the matter.

He shouldn't be getting mad about this. He really shouldn't, but the brunette couldn't find it in himself to calm down. Nobody could be calm in this situation, really.

Tension was already high with this chimera business and surgeries and fevers and the traffic in and out of the house. Al was restless himself, accustomed to spending his time training or accompanying his brother on missions or running errands. He was still getting used to this allocation of relaxation, and it was a little difficult with his older brother screaming bloody murder during horrific nightmares just a week or two ago.

Al wasn't really used to having outbursts. It had been a long time since he and his brother had a real spat of any kind. They'd long gotten over the trivial squabbles of childhood, but every so often they'd just burst at each other, although it would seem Al was more inclined to do so. Ed just flipped out in general.

In the tumultuous flurry of everything, just everything, Alphonse latched onto that little annoying thought and let it take him.

"You don't control me Ed," Alphonse stated bluntly, gray eyes searching out his brother, filled with hard determination, a certain desperation, and perhaps a little too much teenage hormone induced attitude.

Al saw his brother narrow his eyes and reroute an inquisitive glare his way, looking a little unhinged, but still Ed.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, you don't control me," Al snapped waspishly, getting wound up himself. How did Ed do this all the time? This was in no way healthy for anyone to get this frustrated.

"And when did I ever say I did?" The half blond scowled, beginning to look mildly affronted.

"You did when you implied that you killed me."

"What?"

"I'm a person Ed. I have a free will. I make choices. And you know what, I chose to do that transmutation just as much as you. I chose to ignore any misgivings-"

"Yeah, because you weren't about to let me fuck myself over on my own, and look where that got you."

"Shut up and let me talk!"

Ed hissed slightly at Al's tone, but the younger pressed on, upset more than angry now, but he had to keep going. He had to.

"I wish you would stop being so self-centered! Not everything is about you! Why do you have to do this to yourself? It's your fault as much as it is mine, why can't you understand that!"

Al's voice cracked on the last few words, and he could feel his resolve to be upset about this cracking. It took an effort he didn't want to expend because it only made things worse, and rationally, he realized that.

Forcing the hormones away, the agitation, and any other distractions, Al made himself try and calm down.

"Ed, brother, it doesn't matter why I did the transmutation with you, but I did. You need to acknowledge that," the younger spoke earnestly, trying to make Ed understand.

The key point here was Ed's misguided belief that he offed his own little brother, but it was so much more. All the times that Alphonse's blood seal was nearly broken, every time something bad happened, Ed blamed himself on some level for not being there, for not making it better, for not preventing it, and as much as Al wanted to be upset over Ed believing his little brother was his responsibility, he couldn't find it in him because Al knew why Ed was like this.

He knew and it made him so confused and uncomfortable and warm and fuzzy and his head hurt a lot right now.

Alphonse knew Edward was this way about him because Ed loved him. Al couldn't clearly remember hearing these words in a while, the first time in ages being when Ed was crouched over him, cradling his atrophied form to his chest as if he'd never let go, crying tears of joy. The brunette wasn't even sure Ed had realized what he'd been muttering, but in that moment, Al had never felt safer, never felt more loved or important.

Ed's world revolved around Al, it always seemed to have too. How could he possibly be angry at Ed for that when he returned the sentiment?

Any remaining anger drained away, replaced with an anxiousness that made this all the more important.

Alphonse recognized that he'd probably never be able to change his older brother's mind on the fact he had killed him. It had haunted Ed for far too long. Al could blame himself for not realizing Ed's problem earlier, but it would be a useless venture. Al recognized that Ed hid these guilts to protect him, why should he make such a gesture be in vain?

That did not negate the hurt it caused Al, but he would get over it, move on. He'd be fine.

So while Alphonse could not make Ed stop thinking he'd killed Al, as sickening as the notion was, he could make sure of the next most important thing.

Swallowing with extensive difficulty, the younger drew up closer beside Ed and hugged his elder tight, not thinking of how tense and irritated and crazed Ed was getting right now.

Al couldn't help the near euphoric effect contact with Ed was beginning to have one him, but it was a bittersweet joy as at the same time he reveled in the warmth of his elder brother, he was berating himself for perverting that unconditional love Ed would forever maintain for him.

Or would it remain forever? Yes, it would, and Al was well aware of it. Without a doubt, he knew Ed would never stop loving and protecting him. But what kind of person was he to take illicit pleasure in Ed's attentions?

Al felt himself shudder slightly, bile rising in his throat and his limbs becoming numb as a horrible cold seeped into his skin.

Why was he like this?

Why was he this way?

He almost wanted to cry again, but the brunette was tired of crying. He didn't want to anymore. He didn't have to, right? This was okay, right?

"Ed, please, tell me this is okay," Al forced, vaguely realizing he'd pulled himself up onto the bed and half curled around his brother, seeking to dispel the sudden chill that had come over him.

Al felt arms slowly wrap around him and pull him in, close and tight and familiar. The younger alchemist could feel Ed almost relaxing but he was still on edge, thrown by the weighted question. There was a plea for help hidden there; a call for Ed to help him once more and Al felt no shame for it.

It was rather hypocritical of him to call Ed self-centered, given that he himself was rather self-important. Then again, when he said that Ed loved him more than anything, it was without any doubt because he knew it to be truth. He knew Ed did so much for the sole purpose of protecting and pleasing him. That didn't change the fact he'd been rather absorbed in his own issues and himself for quite a while, whether he was entitled to such or not.

The younger knew this was not the best time to be asking Ed to comfort him, but he needed it, and in a way, this was exactly what Edward needed.

He could practically hear his brother mulling over the request at light speed, trying to work out the best way to answer and what exactly he was answering and why the hell Al was asking him if this is okay? What was this?

This was so many thing, Al wasn't even sure yet what all he was referring to, but he needed to hear those words so badly.

"Of course it is, Al," the chimera answered gruffly, not a hint of uncertainty there, despite the fact that he had no clue what he was calling okay. His statement was confident and strong and Alphonse felt his shoulders heave in relief, but he wasn't crying.

"Al-"

"It's okay Ed. It's okay, you just said so, don't you get it?"

"What-"

"I never blamed you."

Ed ceased trying to interrupt Al, instead tightening his embrace of the younger and shifted slightly so they were both laying on their sides on the mattress, Al's face pressed against Ed's neck and Ed's to Al's hair, staring blankly at the other side of the room.

"I never, ever blamed you, Ed. I never hated you, and I never could. I never died, and nothing you say can convince me otherwise," Al insisted in a tight, desperate voice, curling into his brother's hold, clutching tightly at Ed's back, wanting closer, wanting nothing more than to make Edward _understand_. "Brother, I love you, and nothing can change that."

Ed breathed in sharply, face twisting strangely at the word that had just been spoken straight into his skin, that he'd felt vibrate from his younger sibling's throat. They were alien words, a concept sound in mind and bond but not spoken for such a long time they made his mind cringe in apprehension and confusion, and maybe even because he had doubted.

For such a long time he had doubted in the back of his head, not Alphonse, not his dedication or kindness or trustworthiness, but possibly his feelings for his brother. After all, how could you ever really care for the monster in mortal skin you did not possess? The same monster that had stolen it from you?

A small whimper escaped Al as he squeezed the elder's ribcage tighter somehow, even though the two were already wrapped against each other as close as they could.

They both needed this right now, the physical comfort and grounding, Ed's mind fixating on his heinous crime against his only family left and Al's head spinning with the trauma of the past few weeks, the discoveries becoming overwhelming.

"Ed, you knew that, right?" Al uttered insistently. "Brother, that never changed."

As much as Ed hated himself at that moment, as much as his mind insisted it was only because Alphonse just wasn't aware, just didn't understand the atrocity of his actions in life, he let out a trembling breath, feeling some piece of that lead weight pulling him down disappear because if Al loved him, he must be worth something.

Al loved him, so he couldn't mutilate himself to death in spirit, mind, or body because he would not take away something Al cared so deeply for.

Al loved him.

Edward knew his beloved little brother did, even without the doubts but to have the works spoken, to hear them for the first time since childhood, to have the only person beside his mother to ever speak such sentiments to him reaffirm them meant something deep and important and it made his muscles go lax, but his grip did not loosen.

He felt so free for a moment, so unreasonably happy, so at peace even though minutes ago he'd been prepared to rend himself apart in furious retribution and feral panic.

Screams of how unworthy he was, how useless and wretched and despicable faded because of the simple fact Al loved him, and all he could do was whisper back although his lungs weren't working properly, his heart was racing, his chest rumbling in a deep purr, his head was processing sluggishly, and his throat was closed up.

"I love you too, Al. I always will."

* * *

**A/N: So yeah, next chapter I'mma do my best to avoid the angst and Izumi will come back into the picture. Thought I forgot about her, didn't you? I'll bet you did too.**

**I kept resisting the urge to switch back to Ed's point of view, or my version of it at least, because ewe need some emphasis on Al too.**

**Reviews are luff, and to you guys that have stuck with this fic despite my crappy update schedule, you rock.**


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